Project: In Charge with Sandi Glandt

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For most women, becoming a mom is something that needs adjusting. It is a new normal that asks you to re-balance all your relationships not only with your child and partner but also yourself. Bringing in an expert and an all-around lady boss, host Stefanie Peters interviews Sandi Glandt, the creator of The Modern Moms Manual, The Magic Mom Morning, and host of The Modern Moms Club Podcast. Sandi illustrates what the world looks like a woman who wants to maintain a working world and be a mom and wife at the same time. Sharing her six-week training program called Project: In Charge, she lets us in on the amazing sessions that empower women to be productive in different areas of their lives. On the side, Sandi gives some of her learning experiences and imparts the lessons she took across her journey.


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Listen to the podcast here:

Project: In Charge with Sandi Glandt

I am lit up for this episode because this lady boss is hitting on all cylinders. It's one thing to be a lady boss when you are single. It is a whole other thing to be a lady boss when you are a mama and you are in a kick-butt relationship where you have a powerful partner that's hitting on all cylinders in his own right. I am so honored to introduce to you my dear friend, Sandi Glandt. She's the Creator of the Modern Moms manual, The Mom’s Magic Morning. She is the guide and host of The Modern Moms Club Podcast.

Let me tell you a little bit of background on her. She kicks it when it comes to productivity. She's a business strategist coach for women. She helps moms and women at large to maximize their time, gain productivity and take their time back. I have to say she is married to Jarrod Glandt. They have an adorable little guy. His name is Jacob, but they call him Jakey. I love watching him on Instagram Stories. Sandi, thank you so much for taking time out of your crazy busy schedule to connect on all the things.

Thank you so much for having me here. When you surround yourself with positive, like-minded women who are on a mission, you get even more fired up. Anytime I'm around you and my other girlfriends who are on a mission, it becomes so much greater. The purpose is greater. The reach becomes greater. You feel like whatever it is that you're doing, you feel that pure passion and happiness behind it. There are days when I go and you’re like, “I could be exhausted,” but those are the days when I feel fulfilled. I'm fueled up because I am doing so much, but I'm fulfilled by what I'm doing.

We can go so much farther, faster together. That's the thing that ignites our lives is those power partnerships that iron sharpens iron and we can help each other on the journey. It is so much more fulfilling and so much more rewarding. I'm glad to have you in my circle.

It's amazing too. You and I got connected through social. You ended up moving down to Florida. You and I connected. I say like IRL, In Real Life. It's amazing that you can make these powerful relationships online. You don't have to keep them online. You can meet people at a conference. You can meet people at an event or whatever it is. You automatically are connected with them. It's social media so you can follow people and you get to know their lives through stories and posts. You feel you know them forever and ever because you're in their life, you would be by their side.

Let me give my audience a little bit of a backstory of how we connected. We've been social for a long time. I honestly don't even remember how we connected. Long story short, when I moved to Florida, Pastor Nicole Crank had this powerhouse women's event going on. She was bringing some friends for the VIP. I was like, "I have a lot of friends all over the US but not a lot in Florida." I thought to myself, "Who do I know in Florida?" I thought it was putting myself out there on another level. I'm like, "That Sandi, she looks amazing. I'd love to get to know her more." I sent you an audio message and invited you and you came. That was the first time that we met in person. You came with me to Bethany. We're doing a fun collaborative effort and I believe we will be lifelong friends. It's so cool how was all instigated through social.

That's the beauty of it. Now, it's not just your circle of influence, the people that you are around. It's not who's around the neighborhood, who is in your community. You can reach people all over the globe and get connected with these powerhouse women who are on our mission. When we're younger, the message was who are like the popular girls, who are the popular people. You grow out of that once you get out of high school. You're like, "Who are the people I connect with?" because we all have our friends. We all have the friends that we may have been with throughout school like college, high school, whatever. When you can grow out of that and find the people that you connect with on a business level, on personal relationship levels. It becomes so much greater and you get to find your tribe of people that you can not only connect with on those business levels and stuff but that you can collaborate and make whatever your mission is ten times greater.

I want to go back a little bit to where you started your business. What inspired you to do it and how has it organically transitioned? Because what you started in years ago, you're in a completely different market. That's inspiring when someone's been doing the same thing over and over and they've had a lot of success, but how they made that shift, they've made the pivot. I'd love to hear more of your back story.

I was living in Pennsylvania. This was before I met my husband. I was running an event planning golf club. I was doing all their marketing, all their sales and all their social media. I was there for about five years. I loved it. I was like, "I need a change." I had met my husband. We were doing long distance. I moved down to South Florida. I got into health and fitness coaching. It was generic. It wasn't what I do now, which specifically is with moms. It was like, "You're a man. You're a woman. You're whoever. If you want to get in shape, come to me. We'll work out. I'll give you the health and nutrition plans. It will be great.”

In the course of doing that, I loved connecting with women because any journey that you go on, it is more mental than it is physical. It's the mental game that we play. It's what we tell ourselves. If you succeed in any area, it's because you've won the mental game of, "I'm not going to be given in to eating this cookie. I'm not going to give into wasting time. I'm not going to give in to the indulgences that everyone else is giving into because I know what my goals are, I know what my priorities are.” When I saw that, that was a big shift. These women that I was coaching and mentoring, they wanted the connection as well. They wanted to connect with other like-minded women in the business field, in the business world.

The health part of it was a component to it, but it wasn't like the main thing that was a vehicle for them to have someone to be connected to. The big part of it was like, "I want to get healthy, but I also want to find someone that gets me and I can connect with them. Mentally, she's on the same page as me.” Fast forward, I get married, I get pregnant. I had an amazing pregnancy of super healthy baby, healthy pregnancy but the postpartum part comes in. For all of the moms that are reading this, the hardest part of pregnancy is postpartum. That’s what they call the fourth trimester. That's the three to four months when you're postpartum. You're trying to figure out your new life.

I call it your new normal. It's when you are operating now whether you go from no babies to one or one to two, two to three and so on. Life is no more like it was before you've had this baby. The way that you operate, your sleeping schedules, how you're doing feedings, how you're feeding the baby yourself, not to mention all of the psychological things that are going on in your brain because your hormones are trying to fluctuate back to normal. You're trying to figure out how this dynamic between you and your partner and you and the kids. It's all like a whirlwind, everything at once. For me, it was the first time in my life where I was like, "Holy crap." Everything I have learned like, “Charge ahead when things get tough,” and this and that, now this is to the test because now this is not just like, "I'm going crazy because I'm in postpartum."

I was like, "I need to find a solution to what I'm going through." What I was going through was figuring out my new normal, figuring out how to be productive and get things done now with a newborn. It’s figuring out the relationship now between my husband and I and what that looked like. It’s figuring out what my world looks like now as a woman who wanted to maintain a working world and also be a mom and a wife. It's not just like a mom or a wife on a level that was like extraordinary relationships. It was at that moment where I had a breaking point. They say a breakdown is also an opportunity for a breakthrough. That was my moment where I was like, "This is not it. I'm not going to let this defeat me, define me and I need to find a solution to this because if I'm going through this, there's got to be other women that are going through this too."

I put the very beginning of the transition in my business from health and fitness into postpartum mom world, coaching moms, was my The Magic Mom’s Morning Guide. It was ten and bonus steps of simple things that moms can do in the morning to be productive, to have fast wins and to see success first thing in the morning. Even if the only thing they do is make their bed, brush their hair or take a quick shower, they can feel fulfilled as a mom. As you go on, your baby isn't going to stay three to four months forever. They're not going to be in that newborn stage forever. It evolves. It was not how does this benefit you in the morning, but how does it benefit you being super productive when your kids are growing up?

My son is turning two and the same stuff applies. Now, it looks different because instead of taking a shower and putting some makeup on, now it's productivity to move my business forward, move my relationships forward. That moment of being postpartum and trying to find a solution for myself, I was able to find a solution for other women. These are tips that you can put into place immediately to see results, to see productivity and to feel good about yourself. Because as a new mom, you want to have that feeling of, "I'm doing something. I feel accomplished." Whether it's in your business or personal life, you want to have those wins. That's what my Magic Mom Morning Guide did for me at that time. Eventually it had evolved, where now it's a full-on productivity and time management coaching that I do for moms.

That is such a gift that you're giving to the world. What I think is so neat about that is you hit rock bottom point and that was the moment that you pick yourself up. You hear about how you needed to do what you needed to do to be productive, but it didn't stop there. You're like, "If I'm having all these issues, I want to pay this forward and help people with their problems." That's the whole definition of an entrepreneur. Even I coach my girls saying, "If you wouldn't have problems, you don't have a job."

You flipped that moment where you could have stopped dead in your tracks and then be like, "This must be all there is,” and getting the fixed mindset that you said, "No, I'm going to step up into the faith mindset. I'm going to figure this out and I'm going to pay this forward and give other mamas permission to live out their God-sized dream." That lights me up. Seeing that is so exciting. The fun thing is there are different coaches for different people. I had a gal reach out to me. She gave me a referral of someone that she thought could be a good person that I can coach. She said, "It could be a great fit."

I ran through what all her goals were and she wanted to be in the event planning world. She wanted to be a better mom and all these things. I'm like, "I'm going to be honest with you right now. I can help you, but you know who I think would be a better fit? It’s Sandi. I think she can help you on all cylinders." That's what a gift we have in our tribe. We have other resources inside our inner circle to help people live their best life. I'm excited oft how your business has become who you are and an extension of who you are and helping the masses.

You're always learning. Our kids are our biggest teachers. Everyone's like, "You teach your kids this and that." They teach us way more than we could ever teach them. My son teaches me patience. It's like when in those moments when you're like, "Do the thing." You're like, "Let's calm down and breathe. Let's take a breath." It's great for us as moms to use those as learning moments for ourselves. There's so much that he teaches me every single day that I'm like, "This is amazing that you can step back and learn from these moments." Everything that I do every day I'm learning and I pass on what I'm learning to these moms. I know the things that have helped me, the clients that I work with and the massive wins that they have. I see the progress that they make because as a mom, it's so easy to fill the mom guilt.

To feel guilty for working or guilty for being with your kids and not working or not putting enough time into yourself because there's this meme out there. It's like a wife talking to her husband and she's like, "It's either the house or me. We both can't look at it at the same time." It's funny but at the same time, I laugh at those things because that's a client that I worked with, the woman that's like, "I can't." It's either this or that. You can have it all. You have to tap into what your priorities are and what you want to focus on and what your goals are.

What would you say for a mom that is out there that maybe has a couple of kids, maybe they're three and five? She is working from home and she's trying to make that transition to create her new normal. What would be a handful of productivity hacks that could help her at that stage of the game for those kiddos?

I would say the first thing is to define what the goal is. You have to be super clear on what your goal is so you know what steps you're taking every single day. If a goal of hers is to launch a product or a course or write a book or whatever it is. What she's doing every day, those small steps are going to compound. Whether it's 30 minutes, an hour or twenty minutes, I walk my clients through steps that they can take. Ten-minute tests every day that helps them move the ball forward in their business or at home. These are things that don't take long. It's not like a long commitment of time. It's under 30 minutes and it's aligned with the bigger goal. As I walk them through this, I say, "You have your year." That's hard for people to look at an entire year and say, "These are the big goals that I want to accomplish, but where do I start and how does it all work together?"

We look at the year. We look at the goals. We break it down into quarters, which we break it down into months, weeks and days. We backtrack out of the goal. I help them put in actionable steps every single day on how to work towards the goal. If she's like, "I want to be a present mom, but I also am working from home. I want to reach a certain rank or level in my company." It could be something as simple as making videos for social media and getting more content out there. What is she doing? You can't make more content if you don't make more content.

Get a goal in place, set the goal, shoot content for five minutes a day, twenty minutes a day. Also, another good tip that so many of my moms struggle with doing this, but it made such a game-changer is to be where you are. If you're in work, be in your work. Don't feel guilty for not being with your kids. Also vice versa, when you're with your kids, be with your kids and don't be at work. It allows you to fully be present and get done what you need to get done and not half be in each thing. If you're trying to make a work phone call, type up an email, your kids running around getting in trouble or getting in the dirt or whatever he or she is doing, your attention is totally split. You cannot be fully present in what you're doing. Therefore, you're not happy. It's not getting done the way it should be getting done. Be where you are. If it's only ten minutes or an hour or two hours that she has to work in a day, do that, get it done right and move on to the next thing.

You live that actual example out. When I watch your Instagram stories, when you are with Jakey, you are with Jakey. That's such an inspiration to me because I feel like I've been able to master my schedule and the time management as a single gal living on my own. I'm having a lot of notes from Sandi Glandt.

I'll give you all the courses. You'll have everything.

Empowering Working Moms: A breakdown is also an opportunity for a breakthrough.

Empowering Working Moms: A breakdown is also an opportunity for a breakthrough.

I'm honored to be a part of the next project that you are launching on such a big scale. I want to let all my Lady Bosses know about this. Go at it, Sandi.

It’s called Project: In Charge. The idea originated because I have all of these badass babes that are in my network, that are in my world. Everyone's doing something different. For me, I specialize in coaching moms and getting down to their niches, productivity, time management and stuff. You're doing amazing things in your world where you're coaching women on something totally different than what I coach on. My girlfriend, Natalia Kern, she teaches women on what she's amazing at doing. I'm like, "We have so many amazing women in our tribe." Everyone is different. Everyone is teaching something different. Everyone solves a different problem. What if we brought all these women together?

If you were to pay for a coaching package with one of us alone, it would be ten times the value of what we are offering for Project: In Charge and what we're doing. I said, "What if we brought these four pillars, which is health and fitness, relationships, meaning relationships with your partner, your kids, the people that you work with and the sisterhood." Having that tribe of women who get what you're doing, who are in the thick of it in business, maybe they're married, maybe they're not. Maybe they have kids, maybe they don't. They know that they want it all. They're like, "I want to have the business, the family and the amazing community and the support around me," be able to tie all of this in together and have this supportive community of other people who are going for whatever their goals are. Everyone's goals are different.

You bring the community together and you're able to also have the community plus the coaches. What we did is it's myself, Sanja Hatter and Natalia Kern are the three main coaches for Project: In Charge. Each one of us is speaking on our main signature program, course or coaching is on. These women are in the group. It's for women. It's a six-week program. Every week, one of the main coaches are teaching in this six-week workshop. Also every week, we have a bonus coach and staff. You're one of our bonus coaches for Project: In Charge. We had again, the health and fitness side, we've got the business side, we've got the relationship side and this is the community.

Those are the four pillars. As you were saying, if one of those things is off, it's like nothing is jiving and grooving the way it should be. If you feel your relationship at home is off or you feel in your business, you're not able to get into the creative flow and have the juices or maybe you want to be expanding your business. These are women that are coming in to teach on what their signature coaching is about and we're bringing it all together. Whereas if you were to hire these women all individually, you'd be tens of thousands of dollars into these programs and coaching, but we brought it together, all these women in one workshop, a six-week workshop. Wherever you are, when you start this workshop, in six weeks, you're going to be able to maximize your goals, the projects that you're working on, your community, your business, the relationships, everything, every area of this course is going to skyrocket within six weeks. What we want to do is we want to expedite the process in those six weeks, in each one of those areas for the women that are joining this community.

You have such an epic line up. When I looked at all of the amazing women that are a part of this, I was like, "I want to be a part of all these. Teach me all the things."

As we were creating this course, we were like, "We want to be in this." This is so funny. This is something we would buy. This is something we would like to invest in because this is the thing. When you surround yourself around other women or likeminded people that are doing bigger things, you can have the support of people, like our parents, like our friends and they're like, "Good job for you doing that thing you do." They have no idea. They don't know what goes into it. They don't know the hustle, this blood, sweat and tears that go into the projects that we do. They're going to pat us on the back no matter what we do because they're proud of you because they're our friends and family.

When you can get around other people who think bigger and are pushing for more, when you tell them your goals and dreams, they're like, "Why stop there? Have you thought about X, Y and Z? Have you taken this course of action?” When I went to Stef and I said, "I want to be writing a book." She's like, "Sandi, I can help you out in this area. If you need training or someone to hold you accountable in writing your book, this is what I can do for you," because she's been there, she's done it. The women, the coaches that are in this six-week workshop, they've been in the trenches. They've gone through. They've figured out the solutions, the challenges and they know that it works. Whether it's a challenge you're facing in business, in your relationships, growing the community and the sisterhood of other women that think bigger on a larger scale and getting around that or health and fitness, every single coach that we're bringing into this workshop has gone through it. They've gone through it. They’ve figured out the solutions. If you are going through something, you want to figure something out, they want to help you expedite that process.

I say this all the time to my Lady Bosses, success leaves clues. Get crystal clear on what your goal is, what your why is and your business model. Look for inspiration online and ask whoever that person is, can they coach you? Whatever the cost is of figuring out, they are going to help you save so much time. They're going to help you navigate so you don't have to go through all those crazy detours. You can get to where you want to go back much quicker. It's so much more rewarding because you are an entrepreneur on your own a lot of times. Even in my journey, the first couple of years I felt so isolated like I'm on an island. If I would have met my mentor early on in the game, imagine how it would have saved me years.

Money and time and everything, that's where this whole idea that I got came from because I was like these women, they have the knowledge and the expertise in their field. We've hand-selected the coaches that are in this program because this is what we would want. As we were making this, we wished we would have had this years ago because it helps you expedite the process that you're on. If you know you have these big goals and these big dreams and you're like, "I want to get there faster. Who wouldn't want to shortcut that process?" There are no shortcuts but you can learn from people who have gone through where you want to go. If you see someone and you're like, "I would love to be able to write a book, launch a course and have a similar business.” Don't go figure it out on your own. Learn from someone that's done it and has success. Use that person to help you navigate your world and how you're going to do it.

That one idea, one shift can be the difference between a six-figure business and a seven-figure business. Even in writing my book, I attended a women's empowerment event. I was going into it to help my mentee that I was mentoring at the time. I was like, "This can be a great game-changer.” Little did I know walking into that was the day that I was going to decide to write my book and I figured out the resources from there because I made the decision at that moment. You only know what you know. When you have friends and family around you, you're going to continuously live by default. This is probably the best way that I can explain it is you are a little goldfish in a fish tank, but when you join something like this, you're like, "There's a whole ocean that I have access to that I have no idea.”

We want these women to feel empowered. We want them to think bigger and go for more, whatever their goals are, like, "Yes, achieve that." Think bigger and allow yourself to go for that. A lot of times you feel lonely and isolated in an entrepreneurial world because a lot of times you're at home. Maybe you're working from home, you don't have an office where you're going into. You may not have a business where you've hired a whole team yet. It's you and you and that's it. You’re talking to yourself a lot of the time and you're talking to the screen a lot. For me and my business, my clients are all over the world, but I'm talking to a computer screen. We're doing this.

Even that, at least you're talking to someone else versus when I do my videos, you press record and you talk, but it can be lonely. A lot of times when you join masterminds, you start to see, "I have these ideas but someone else has these other good ideas. What if I took the idea that I have and I paired it up with that or I made this little tweak or you improve it?" That much more, it's like a launchpad for these women that can get on board with something that can change the trajectory and the course of their entire business, their lives and the lives of their families.

I'll even say the reason that I moved to Florida is because I joined a mastermind. Even though that I give my girls all the time permission to live the life they've been called to, for whatever reason, I had some blocks in my own life and giving myself stories of why I couldn't do this, that and the other thing. That group of women was like, "What are those things that you ultimately want to do?" I knew it wasn't going to align to a life full-time in Minnesota. I cut all ties, sold almost everything and made the leap. I honestly don't know if I would've done it as quickly if it weren't for the support of those amazing women. I know that they'll be in my life forever. I was having a relationship thing going on and I called up Christie. She guided me through it. Even though she's great with all the relationship components, I'm great with the business components. I get a mastermind call for her girls. It's cool how when you get introduced to other women with other strengths. That's what makes the tribe strong. Thank you for creating this incredible tribe, Sandi.

Project: In Charge is where all the ladies can go to check on the information on that. We are doing an early bird, fast action price right now. We want to reward the people that take action and I say you need to be the captain of your own ship. You need to get into that captain's chair. You need to take hold of the wheel and you steer that ship where you want it to go, not where the wind blows you, not where someone else is telling you to go. You get in control and you make those decisions. Because a big part of my life when I didn't make that transition from Pennsylvania to Florida, I said, "The thing that kept popping into my head was "You now are in control of your life. You've made this decision."

My parents decided to raise us in Pennsylvania. That was their dream. That was their goal. That wasn't mine. Mine is what I'm living right now. It was because I made that decision to make the move, to take the leap, to take the chance and get into that driver's seat. That's why I encourage women to do it. Stef, you did the same thing. You said, "I need to make this move." Whether it's physically moving out of this state that you grew up in and everything that you know and what you're used to, or it's getting around a community of other women that encourage you to think and grow bigger. All of that is allowing you to step into that driver's seat to take action and to create the life that you want to live.

The three people that are the main coaches, it's you, Natalie Kern and Sanja Hatter. I know Natalie and she is incredible. I can't wait to get to know her more. Sanja, I don't know that much about her so I'm looking forward to learning from her as well. Talk about that.

Sanja and her husband, Cole Hatter, they are the founders of Thrive. They put on events. They're all on the West Coast. When we were creating this, we were like, "We're bringing the East Coast. We're bringing the West Coast. We're bringing them together." It's amazing. Some of the bonus coaches that we have are in Australia, London. They are all over the globe, these incredible powerhouse women. It's not just this is a United States thing; this is all over the globe. We're bringing the best of the best. These women are incredible in what they do. They're bringing you their tips and strategies to implement that day. It’s not when the course is over. The day you learn it, you go and you implement.

Tell them again, where can they go specifically to check out all of these details?

It's ProjectInCharge.com.

When you sign up for that, please, if you go on Instagram, if you want to tag Sandi and me, Sandi, give them your Instagram handle.

It's @SandiGlandt.

You can also tag me, @LadyBoss_SP. When you do that, send me your address and I will send you something fun right along with this incredible six-week course. I'm excited for you, Lady Bosses.

When they sign up, they get access to the private Facebook group as well.

You're hitting on all cylinders with Instagram and Facebook. They've got that community and tribe.

We're excited. We want to celebrate these ladies. This is exciting. The nice thing is too is a lot of people do this either at the very end of the year or the very beginning of the year. New Year's resolutions, "I want the next year off to a good start," or they do it at the end of the year in December because they want to get ready for the next year. This is solidifying how you're going to close out 2019 and how you're going to go into 2020. It's not too late to crush this year and then go strong into the next year.

Empowering Working Moms: There are no shortcuts when you can learn from people who've gone through where you want to go.

Empowering Working Moms: There are no shortcuts when you can learn from people who've gone through where you want to go.

I want to talk and ask you a couple of questions specifically revolving around business and entrepreneurship for that newbie. If you are back in time and telling yourself one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

I am trying to teach this to my son as he gets older. I'm like, "Remember that you would have had this piece of advice." It would be to fail more often because we learn so much from our failures. Growing up it was always like a bad thing. If you didn't do good on a test or a grade or a project or something, I was always so scared of failure. I was so scared not to get good grades or scared to mess something up. Anytime that happens, whether it's a launch or whatever we do, nothing is perfect in life. It is such an amazing learning opportunity. Such a big part of me wishes that I would have failed forward more.

I would have taken the failure and learn from it because my whole life, I was always like, "It's got to be perfect," but nothing is perfect. If we can learn to take those failures, those moments instead of feeling like it was a failure and we didn't succeed getting up, brushing yourself off and saying, “How would I do it better next time?” It wasn't a failure. It was a learning opportunity. For all the moms and the women reading, do this in your own life and say, "The things that I'm going through right now, you fail if you stop and you don't move forward. You take that experience and you learn from it, you grow from it and you can create something even better." That is like the true definition in my opinion of success because you're always creating, learning and becoming better than when you did it the first time or the second or the third and so on.

I like the mantra, either you win or you learn, not lose. Can I bring you through quickly the Lady Boss lightning round where you are going to get your questions in like fifteen seconds or less, to get to know details? Number one, when you aren’t crushing it in business, what do you love to do?

Other than being with my son, working out because I love working out, staying active and he even joins me sometimes, so that's super fun.

When someone says, "I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots,” what's my first step?

Take accountability for everything in your life. No matter what happens, take accountability.

What are you absolutely addicted to?

I love podcasts because I can listen to them in the shower while I'm getting ready, while I'm driving. It's podcast episodes and audiobooks. I'm listening again to Rich Dad Poor Dad.

That's such a good one. What are you reading right now?

It's Dr. Shefali, The Conscious Parent.

What’s the best piece of advice you've ever received?

Stay in your own lane. Don't worry about the person next to you and keep going forward no matter what. I was saying before, learn from your mistakes but don't worry about what the person next you is doing you, in front of you or behind you, focus on what you're doing and stay in your own lane.

Keep your eyes on your own yoga mat.

Because otherwise, you get distracted and you're often trying to get in someone else's business or whatever they're doing and you end up losing the vision of what you started off with.

What's your most embarrassing moment?

Probably when I was in middle school. There was this middle school dance and my mom didn't want me wearing like a tank top. I snuck it in to wear it. She came and she showed up at the dance bringing the other shirt like a long sleeve turtleneck shirt for me to wear. I'm sure one day if I ever have a daughter, I will so understand her.

What's your favorite food?

It's sushi.

Who inspires you or who do you aspire to be like?

The person that inspires me the most are two people. I would say, my grandmother. I call her my bubby. She raised four boys. She was a teacher. She was working. If you want to talk about superwoman, she is the woman who did it all. She could write my courses and do my content ten times over the way that I do it and make it ten times better. I still look up to her. Her husband, my grandfather, had the best relationship. They are married for 70-some years. When I think about, “Can you have the business, the family and raise amazing kids?” She is my ultimate of what I aspire to be.

My dad is an entrepreneur and he paved the way for me to have an entrepreneurial mindset and view the world in an entrepreneurial way. This is going back to me reading the book Rich Dad Poor Dad right now versus seeing, "You've got to go to school. You've got to get the education." You got to be in systematic school-based thinking. It stunts your growth because you're thinking so much of the way society wants you to think versus, “How can I grow and build myself and an empire on my own?” versus the way that school systems teach and whatnot. You can start to think bigger and expand.

That's neat that you shared that your people, your family. Not a lot of people can say that. Coffee or chocolate?

The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

I have one piece of dark chocolate sitting on my desk, but coffee is life. That is hard. If I had to pick one, it would be chocolate. I would give up the caffeine in the coffee for dark chocolate.

Describe yourself in one word.

The first word that comes to mind is motivated, but I feel like that's like not interesting. What else would I say?

Motivated is powerful. There are a lot of things that you could say within that.

I'll go with motivated because you need to be when you are trying to run a business, keep a family together and keep your own stuff together. You have to be motivated in order to get organized get done everything that needs to be done. You got to be on top of it and you got to be motivated in order to do all the things.

If you could swap lives with one person for a day, who would it be and why?

It would definitely be my husband because he always says to me, "You could never do what I do." I would welcome the challenge. I would love to reverse the roles and have him do what I do and me do what he does.

I’ll be the cheerleader. I want to see that.

I would love to swap roles with him for a day.

In another life, I hope that happens. If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?

I want to be Flash. I don't know a lot of the superheroes, but it would allow me to get to the places I needed to go faster so I can get more done.

Everyone says Wonder Woman. You think outside the box.

Every time I'm running to go do something, I always see myself like, "If I could fly there, I could be faster and get it done a lot faster."

I have a couple of other questions that I don't normally ask, but I do want to ask this out of curiosity. What are some of the things that you outsource right now as a mom or do you not?

I outsource every single thing I can outsource. Everything from groceries, I had Instacart. I should be sponsored by Instacart because I use them four times a week. I had two Instacart deliveries coming at the same time. Everything from Instacart, everything from Amazon that I can order. I outsource everything. I have virtual assistants that I use. If I say I have a course that I'm putting together, all of the content, all the meat of the course is mine. I type of all the content, it's all mine. When it comes to the PowerPoints and it looking pretty, I will nitpick and it will never be perfect for me. I outsource all of the creative stuff and I can say, "Here you go VA, take this. Make it look nice, make it look pretty. Put some nice little effects on it, transitions on it and send it back to me," because otherwise, I will spend too much time doing those things.

Honestly, I'd rather spend time with my coaching clients, with my son, with my family than have to even try and figure out something else. I stay in my wheelhouse, I know what I'm good at and everything else I outsource. Even to the point where I have a nanny, she comes in the morning, that's outsourcing. She walks the dog. She takes care of the baby so I can work. Anything that I can outsource, I am such a cheerleader for that because you need to be where you are and do what you do best. I call it the money-making moves. Whatever in your business, you do the best and can maximize your time and make you more money, focus on that.

You stay in your zone of genius. I talk about that. How many hours of sleep on average would you say you get a day?

I'd say a good solid eight, eight and a half. I need my sleep. I'm in bed by 9:00, 9:30. If you ask my husband, he started out in the boat when we went out. It was so embarrassing. He was like, "She needs her sleep or she turns into a crazy lady." I'm like, "Yeah, because I'm doing five million things."

If I ever make that transition to be a mom, it inspires me because I've been pounded like, "You're going to hardly get any sleep." It's like, "You outsource it." When I stayed at your house and I woke up, Jarrod was taking care of Jakey. He was like, "She's going to still sleep for a while." I'm like, "Good for her."

Monday through Friday when Jarrod is in his routine because he wakes up and he goes to the gym. It's like mommy duty from the time Jake wakes up. I'm usually up before him until the nanny gets here. I'll make breakfast or we'll play or whatever. On the weekends, our deal is mama gets to sleep in for an extra half an hour to an hour. He'll take Jake out. They'll go to Starbucks. It's nice because my husband does work a lot. When Jake on the weekends especially, it's good for me. It's a win-win situation. I get to sleep in a little bit. They get to have their time together and everybody's happy.

Jarrod’s a good hubby. He works so hard and he's so amazing where he's not just working. He does make the intentional time to be with the family. It’s almost my son's birthday so we're also doing a party in Philly as well. He's in Australia right now. I was like, "Baby, you don't want to have to come to Philly." I gave him the out because when he comes home and he's like a day home after he comes home from Australia and the party is in Philly the next day. He's getting off the plane in Miami from Australia and then flying to Philly to be at the party. He does prioritize both the business and the family stuff. He’s amazing at doing both. I got to give hubby props too.

That's what makes you guys a power couple. You know the roles that you're in and it's not all about one or the other. It was fun watching you take videos of him on your Instagram story. He was promoting your stuff. What beautiful do that for each other?

I'm all behind. If he's like, "I’ve got to work late. I’ve got to go on a business trip." We support each other in that area because if not, I feel like it would be hard to have someone at home for either of us if he was like, "Why are you taking calls late at night?" I have some calls that I do at night when you use that to help put the baby down. He's home and he's here for that or he's got to go out to a business meeting at night and he's like, "I'm not going to be home tonight." I feel like it is an amazing support system that we both went into the relationship saying, "These are my goals as an individual. We both will help honor the other person's goals." Together we have our goals, but separately we cheer and root for the other person in whatever it is they want to go after.

What is your definition of a boss?

My definition of a boss is someone who can handle you know what and they don't allow circumstances or people to walk all over them. They know when they need to get things done. They take the initiative, they step up and they take the full accountability for whatever's going on in their life. They're able to be fulfilled in every area and not feel guilty for living the life that they want to live.

Any last words of wisdom?

I would say no matter where you are in your business, in your life, think bigger and go for more. Don't settle for where I'm at now. Also, I would say be grateful for where you are because I am a huge component. Every morning I wake up, I do it with my son, we'll do a gratitude list. We'll say three things that we're grateful for. You can't repeat anything that you've said in the past. Be extremely grateful for where you are. Count your blessings every day, but always go for more. Don't put any limitations on yourself. Know that there are always solutions. There's Google. There are people. There are coaches out there who can help you fast track where ever it is you want to go. Don't ever feel like if there's a roadblock in the way, if there's a setback that is not, it's always going for what you want to go for. The sky's the limit. A lot of us, we become more own limitations and excuses. If you can put that aside, step back from that, become the problem solver and find the solutions, you can have whatever you want in life.

Many people are going to want to connect with Sandi Glandt, so where can they connect with you? How can they follow you? Once again, I want you to promote the course and where they can get access to it ASAP.

ProjectInCharge.com is the six-week program that we've been talking about where you'll jump in. Stef is going to be in there. She has a full week where she's coaching. You guys will be able to check her out in there as well. Myself is @SandiGlandt on all the platforms, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all over YouTube.

Empowering Working Moms: No matter where you are in your business or in your life, think bigger and go for more.

Empowering Working Moms: No matter where you are in your business or in your life, think bigger and go for more.

Sandi, thank you from the bottom of my heart for investing in this friendship, investing in what you're doing out in the world. It's so easy for us to say, "I'll do it one day." You've drawn a line in the sand and said, "No, now is my time to live out my purpose, my destiny, my calling." That's why you have so many other women and people at large the permission to grab the pen and write their own stories. Thank you for being who you are.

Thank you for having me on here. I want to say one last thing is the beginning of this year, I asked the universe or God or whatever you want to call it. I said, "I have lived in Florida for a few years and I want to get connected with other like-minded women. I want this tribe and this community as amazing as our partners can be in our husbands and our families. There's something so magical and special when you have those boss babe girlfriend relationships in your life. I didn't have that. I had one or two girlfriends that were around this area. I want to expand this and have this tribe. I made that big ask. I remember it was right at the beginning of January. Ever since that day, I have this amazing tribe of women staff. I include you in that.

I'm thankful because first and foremost, you need to become the woman that you are asking for. You need to be able to support, empower and be that friend that you're asking to have in your life. I had my family, my husband and my own business, but I still knew I was missing something. When I finally put that out there and made it my mission to connect with these women, they started coming in from everywhere. I was like, "This is amazing." Where are these women for the past few years? The thing was, they were always there. I say like, “Dorothy, you had the slippers all along. You needed to know how to take that power and use it. Again, it all starts with you. Whether it's launching the business, creating those relationships, going after the marriage, the relationship that you want, it all starts with you. It comes back to you and the decisions that you're making. That's where Project: In Charge came from, was becoming in charge of your life and the decisions that you're making and allowing yourself to step into that power.

I thought we ended on an amazing note to another level. Sandi, you said it so well. I want to challenge all my team, my tribe. My challenge to you is for you to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Take advantage of the resources that are right there in front of you. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Go check it out. Go to ProjectInCharge.com. Do yourself a favor and change your life forever.

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About Sandi Glandt

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Sandi Glandt is the creator of The Modern Moms Manual, The Magic Mom Morning

Guide and Host of The Modern Moms Club Podcast. Sandi Glandt is a productivity and business strategist coach for women who are looking to maximize their time, gain productivity and take back time and energy in their day! Sandi is happily married to husband Jarrod Glandt and together they have one son, Jacob who reside in sunny Hollywood, Florida. You can connect with Sandi on social @SandiGlandt

How To Take The LEAP

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Change can be hard, especially when you take a big leap away from your comfort zone. In this episode, host Stefanie Peters shares the massive shifts and leaps that she has made in the last 90 days. Gathering the realizations she got from that, Stefanie gives some action steps that you need to take in order to move the needle in your life. Begin to take the leap, shift, and be unapologetic about it. Get inspiration from Stefanie, boss up. and be the best version of yourself.

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Listen to the podcast here:

How To Take The LEAP

Learning From Mastermind

I promised you in the last episode that I was going to come on and talk to you about the massive shift and leap that I have made in the last few days. To say that your life can't completely shift on many levels spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially in 90 days is crazy. What can happen in a few days? Let me leave it there. I am going to dive right in. There are some concepts that I want to share with you that will help you to dial into where you're feeling called, what you want to do and the action steps that you need to take in order to move the needle in your life. Take the leap, shift and be unapologetic about it. Let me dive right in. I attended this mastermind out in California in March. They shared many concepts out there that completely shifted the perspective of what is possible.

That's the number one principle to apply to your life. What are you consistently listening to that is expanding your vision and questioning your status quo? Because if you don't have people in your life that are consistently doing that for you, you are signing up for living the exact same type of life from the year before and the year before. That's why going to events, going to masterminds, meeting with people that are miles ahead of you, buy books, podcasts, all the things in order to stretch you so you don't get into success coma. Often, especially if you have a type-A personality like me, people will be patting you on the back, “You're crushing your goals. You're making it happen. You're making such an impact.” When you get quiet and listen to that still small voice, you will hear that there is always that next level and you have to level up.

What this mastermind did for me, this is probably the best way to explain it. I was living unaware in a fish tank when there was an ocean that was available to me. I want to shift that in you. I want to ask you a couple of questions that may prick something inside or prick your heart and get you to a place of deciding not to be denied in your life and not taking what everyone else says as your truth. I want you to ask yourself regularly, “Who said?” Who said you couldn't write the book? Who said you couldn't start the business, pursue the relationship, sell all your stuff, move across the country? If you fight for your limiting beliefs, you get to keep them or you can boss up, get uncomfortable, lean in and live the life of your dreams. I will be the first to say these last few days when I decided to take the leap have been extremely uncomfortable. They have tested me in ways that I never thought possible. I am so grateful for this experience and I'm living it out.

Soul Shift

I'm sharing with you at the moment what has happened. When I hit 30 in February, I had the biggest soul shift in my entire life and it freaked me out. I woke up on my birthday and I started to feel suffocated to where I was living when a month before I was feeling completely at peace at my environment and my inner circle. When March happened and I flew out to the mastermind in California, I was exposed to a way different perspective. It shifted my paradigm in probably the most massive way in my life. At that point, when you come to that enlightenment point, you have two options in your life. You can live in the paralysis of analysis and deny yourself of the shift your soul is calling for, or you can boss up, lean into the unknown and make the leap. I made the leap. I sold almost all of my stuff in Minnesota, people called me crazy, and I bought a place in Florida because I knew that is what my soul was calling for. I knew what that next upper limit was in my life and I had to shatter that glass ceiling to go to that next point. I knew I couldn't accomplish it in Minnesota.

I will be the first to say, it ruffles feathers when you make a decision like that. People won't understand. They will judge you and you will feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying you need to sell all your stuff and move across the country. There's going to be someone in the audience that you do. For others that's not what your soul is calling for, I want you to put yourself in this story and ask, what is that thing that keeps knocking on the door of your heart, but you're not doing because that person won't be happy with you? You're in a place where you feel like you should be doing this but yet you know it isn't for your higher good.

I will share a story with you that was very uncomfortable. Even to share this now is freaking me out a little bit. There was someone in my life that I care for so deeply. When I felt the soul shift, I knew that my decision to move across the country was going to make this person feel very uncomfortable. They weren't going to be excited about that decision. They were going to feel hurt by the decision, but yet I knew in my gut, if I didn't do this and I wasn't true to myself, then I knew I was going to become resentful of the situation long-term. As hard as it was to stand in my power, to stand in my truth, I had to confront that person, let them know that I love them dearly. They are an amazing human being and I appreciate who they are and I will support them to the nth degree, but I had to do this. I was going to be okay with them not being okay with the decision that I was going to make of moving across the country.

I do believe that when we die, we are going to be held accountable not for what we did but what we are called to do. Sometimes I feel like we can get so wrapped up in the not moving fast enough. We think someone else's path is sexier or more enticing. We’re thinking we should be doing this because then our parents will be proud. We’re thinking we should be doing that because that's what society tells us we need to do. You’re doing it because then someone will be proud of you or someone will be friends with you. Stop it. At the end of the day, nothing will replace that feeling that you get from running all out in your lane and running your race. At the end of the day, you are performing for an audience of one.

Taking The Leap: When we die, we are going to be held accountable not for what we did but what we were called to do.


Taking The Leap: When we die, we are going to be held accountable not for what we did but what we were called to do.

When I moved to Florida, I had a freak-out moment. I'm like, “I'm in a completely new area. I don't know many people here at all. I am completely outside of my comfort zone.” I had a full out freak-out moment, but that uncomfortable place is truly where the magic happens. When I got still and I listened to that still small voice, I knew in my gut this is where I'm supposed to be. This is where God is calling me to for such a time as this. I leaned into it. I started networking like a boss. I started getting involved in different things and it's not happening overnight, but the phenomenal opportunities that have come down my pipeline because I did this are massive. I know that in the next few days my life will not look anything like it did a few months ago because I was willing to make the hard call. I also know that if I hadn't created this space for this to happen, I would deny myself, my tribe and the Creator of my true potential. In turn, now that I've made this shift, it will empower countless people because I decided to step into my truth, not deny where I am feeling called and go all-in for this.

Choose The Pain, Create Your Reality

I want to dive into your life. I know not everyone can move across the country in a 60-day timeframe, but everyone can create an environment for massive growth when they make the hard call and take the leap. We allow what we tolerate. I want to ask you about your situation right now. Are your goals, habits and environment supporting you to become the best version of yourself possible? Sometimes we think that life is supposed to be daisies and rainbows, but in life when we've experienced it for a handful of years, we need to come to the reality that no matter what path we choose, there will be a pain. I choose to have the pain that will create the payoff. It's our job to create an environment that works in our favor. People-pleasing can be extremely paralyzing. I want to share with you an excerpt from the podcast that I listened to that woke me up to what my potential truly is. I want to relay that to you. I want you to read this and I want you to tag me on Instagram, @LadyBoss_SP. Shoot a quick video or send me a message and tell me what the one thing that you're going to do that is going to move the needle in your life will be.

Let me read this verbatim from what he said, “I'm not going to enable you to stay where you're at. I'm going to shake you by the shoulders and I'm going to say, ‘What are you so attached to that is stopping you from making a move you know you want to make to the area to where you're going to thrive?’” Choose the pain. No version of life is pain-free. You're either choosing the pain of default or you're going to choose the pain of the payoff or the pain that is productive. What is your version of your boss bold move? Maybe it's moving from that small town to that big town. Maybe it's moving from that cold place like Minnesota to that warm place you know you want to go to. Maybe it's simply moving from a lower energy environment, switching up your friends to a high-vibe space and environment. What is holding you back from that next level in your life? Maybe it's as simple as throwing out the junk food in your pantry. I don't know what it is, but I dare you to think about what your shift is that you need to make in your life. Think about what is possible for you in your life.

I want you to create your reality. What could your reality look like if you had stronger boundaries, made tougher choices, got more creative? Let's reverse engineer it. You have the opportunity to invent your own reality. Anyone can, but you have to refuse to settle for the status quo. Your environment will always be stronger than your willpower and there are three layers to this. You start off by choosing your beliefs of what you want or your goals, in turn, is what that is. You have to create the habits to enforce the beliefs, and then you have to build your ultimate tribe to back up the beliefs.

It's everyone's responsibility to build a support staff. Who are the people in your life that are going to keep you on track for your goals? If you have people in your life that say, “You tried hard. You did a great job. It's okay, you didn't quite hit the goal.” Don't allow those people that are going to put their arm around you and love you no matter what to steal you of your destiny. This might be some hard love, but who are those people that are going to be in your life and call you out on your own BS? Everyone is finding evidence to support what they want to believe at the moment. How is it serving you?

December 31st Of 2019

This will help you discern what you need to release. This shift that I walked myself through was one of the biggest game-changers in my life. This was halfway through the year. I asked myself these questions and when I answered these questions, it gave me a crystal-clear game plan of what I needed to do to go to that next level in my life. I want you to close your eyes and come with me to December 31st of 2019 and you're celebrating your best year yet with your besties. I want you to sink into how you feel. Imagine the massive impact you have made and the lives you've touched. This has been the absolute banner year in your life to date.

I want you to sink into where you are living on December 31st. Who were you living with? How do you feel? Did you start writing that book? Did you decide to take the leap and start that side hustle and forget what other people think? Did you decide you're going all-in to get rid of your debt so you can give yourself that beautiful gift of freedom in your life? I want you to dial into what your soul is calling for. Think about all you've accomplished and the people you've invested in. I want you to open your eyes. I want you to come back to reality. What is the date? I want you to write down on a piece of paper and pen these things.

Taking The Leap: If it's not a "hell, yes," make it a gracious "no" and pursue the God ideas versus just the good ideas.

Taking The Leap: If it's not a "hell, yes," make it a gracious "no" and pursue the God ideas versus just the good ideas.

Number one, I want you to list out your top three wins for the first half of the year and celebrate them and be grateful for what you've accomplished. Do that first. Number two, I want you to list out the top three goals you need to accomplish between now and the end of the year in order to make that vision your reality. Next, ask yourself what has been draining me of my energy in the first half of the year? I don't know when you're reading this. Maybe it's three quarters through the year. Maybe it's the end of the year. Whatever time frame it is that you're reading this, dial it in to where you're at and maybe put it a few months out or put a year out to give you perspective.

Ask yourself, “What's been draining me of my energy in the last 60 days, in the last 90 days or the last half of the year?” whatever that looks like for you. “What do I need to do to shift into joy?” To give you a couple of ideas of what it was for me. I needed to do more automation in my business. I needed to delegate more things in my life. I needed to eliminate the things that weren't serving me. Because here's the deal, by saying no to all the things you should “do,” you are saying yes to your God-size dream. My two cents is if it's not a hell yes, make it a gracious no and pursue the God ideas versus just the good ideas. That's going to give you the freedom and space in your life to pursue your ultimate calling.

The next question that I want you to ask yourself is, “How I can step into my power in the second half of the year and live unapologetically?” That could be a lot of different things. Maybe it's joining the 5:00 AM club. Maybe it's running a marathon. Maybe it's moving across the country. Maybe it's starting to write that book. Maybe it's volunteering. I don't know what that is for you, but ask yourself, how can I show up in such a massive way for myself and in turn give the people in my inner circle that permission to do that exact same thing? Now is your time to live the life you crave. I want to leave you with this. Life is too short not to take the risk. Embrace the now and go with your gut.

It is your time to power forward to your full potential. Yesterday ended last night. Tomorrow is not promised. Today is your day to live the life of your dreams. I believe you owe it to yourself, you owe it to your tribe, and you owe it to your Creator to do that thing that your soul is calling for. I would be honored and blessed if you would take a screenshot of this episode and follow it by a quick ten-second video or writing it out. Send me a message and tell me how this episode impacted you and the shift you are going to make in your life because how you do something is how you do everything.

When I decided to make the leap and let go of everything that I know, but being very suffocated in that environment and taking the leap to go into an environment that I don't know, people that I don't know, opportunities that await me, I made the leap because I knew that was what I was supposed to do. Massive shifts have happened in many levels, in my physical world, mental world, spiritual world, financial world. It will open up your wildest dreams when you decide to take a chance on yourself. I want to challenge you to live unapologetically and like I leave at the end of every one of my episodes. My challenge to you is to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. You are created for greatness. Let's go get after it. I believe in you. I love you. I appreciate you. I'm here for you, cheering you on to your God-size dreams. Let's go.

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Jasna Burza on Growing Uplevel Together Minneapolis Mastermind

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Coaching was considered a unicorn profession years ago. However, it has always been something that Jasna Burza, professional certified life and business coach, wanted to do. Jasna was passionate about chasing her dreams of becoming a coach back then, alongside having a baby which finally came true after suffering nine miscarriages. She then started Uplevel Together Minneapolis Mastermind, an ultimate supportive experience for entrepreneurial women ready to take their idea or business to the next level. For Jasna, a mastermind is having two minds come together and figuring out ways to solve a problem. With her mastermind, Jasna is leading the many inspiring women entrepreneurs out there to grow their business and create abundance together.

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Listen to the podcast here:

Jasna Burza on Growing Uplevel Together Minneapolis Mastermind

Let me give you a background on this powerhouse. Jasna is a professional certified life and business coach and founder of Uplevel Together Minneapolis Mastermind. She has actually spent the last decade working with individuals and organizations such as US Bank, Athleta and Coca-Cola on topics of resilience and life purpose. She's even been featured on CBS, WCCO as Minnesotan to Meet. She's been on a number of different television shows. What resonates with me is her background story. She actually lived through a refugee camp during the war in native Bosnia. She teaches and inspires so many people on the topics of resilience, creating purpose and connect to deeper meaning in life, aligning with your skills and your passions to make your biggest impact. You are in for a treat.

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I am lit up. I am honored and grateful that one of my dear friends, one of those in my inner circle, Jasna, will be joining us. Her heartbeat behind why she does what she does is humbling. To hear how she hustles, she gives it everything she has got and she just puts her all in everything in her business and in her family life. I am honored to have her on the podcast. Jasna, thank you so much for joining us.

I'm blushing. I need to call you every day.

I want to give you a little bit of background on how we actually connected. I went to this co-working space called ModernWell in Minnesota and here comes this classy lady that is walking through one of the rooms. I walked up to her and started a conversation. We realized that we knew a couple of mutual friends. We chatted it up and I felt like there was an instant connection. We totally lost touch. We scout connected on social media, but the fun thing was I get this random message on Instagram saying, “Are you the same Stephanie Peters that's going to this mastermind out in Cali?” I'm like, “Yeah.” We found out that we’re going to the same amazing mastermind. We became roomies and the rest is history.

Pretty much there is no going back. It's actually pretty remarkable.

I was inspired by your story when we first connected. You were saying right from the get-go, you weren't born and raised in the US. That is such a compelling story because you were born and raised in Bosnia. I want you to share your story and the backstory of that. What I see about you that I think is so beautiful is you understand the value of what we have here in the US. Someone that is foreign-born is seven times more likely to become a millionaire than that person that is born here in the US. You don't take what we have here for granted. I want you to share with your back story why you do what you do. Share all the things.

When you told me that statistics, I did not know. I've heard something similar before but when you said, “I can do that.” I was born in Bosnia in a small town in East Bosnia and it was poor. I had a relatively happy family, but in the 1990s, the war started in Bosnia. I ended up in a refugee camp. My dad was in a concentration camp and they did exist in the ‘90s. It was horrific for all of us. In so many respects, there’re things that I'm dealing with going back and healing parts of the trauma that I didn't even know was there. Through a long path, I came here to study. I stayed for my undergrad and I stayed for my graduate degree. I met my husband, got married, had children and I'm like, “No, I'm stuck.” Honestly, this is my country. This is home. I was born in Bosnia, but I know for a fact that I’m meant to be here. This is my country. I'm an American citizen, but I'm an American in my soul.

It’s how I behave, how I think. When I look around, I'm like a kid in a candy store. First of all, I'm infinitely grateful to have this cushy life. I'm safe and no one's shooting at me. I have enough water. I have a safe shelter. I know this sounds basic for people, but that never escapes me. I have this immense sense of gratitude. I think you know this. I'm such a grateful person in general. Then I have this incredible life and being an entrepreneur, I'm looking around, I'm like, “There's so much opportunity.” I don't have the time to do it all, but there's so much opportunity. For me, I feel like I have been given this opportunity. I was lucky to be able to come here. There are so many women from all over the world and from Bosnia who are smarter, more competent and more brilliant who will never have the same opportunities as I will. I owe it to myself and to everyone else to do good work. I'm fired up.

You and me both. Even what you said in an Instagram story that I watched is when you heard the sirens going off on Wednesday, you were so grateful because you are safe. Let's go back to that. Why did you say that? That hit my heart and pierced it.

When I first came here, I was living in Uptown in Minneapolis with my husband, that was years ago. I was working from home and all of a sudden, the first Wednesday of every month, a tornado siren goes off. It’s the inclement weather preparedness siren. I ducked under the table. Here I am an adult woman working, I worked for a software company at the time. I ducked under the table and I'm thinking, what the hell is going on? It was body reaction. I called my husband and I was like, “What's going on? What is this siren? This is freaking me out.” He's like, “It’s the tornado siren. You're fine.” I'm thinking, “Don't they know there's a former refugee leaving here? I didn't get the memo.” Then I would hear it again and again. I would hear it then I would literally freeze because my body remembered. I know I'm safe, but my body literally would freeze.

I started working with a coach and I started to create something called different associative memory. For example, the smell of bread from childhood will associate something. For me, that created an associated memory in my brain and I knew that I had to recreate those patterns, recreate the neurons. I did that. It took me a good chunk of months to actually do that. Every time I would hear it, I would try to think about, “I'm so lucky. I'm so blessed. I’m safe.” It's interesting now every time I hear the siren, it's a friendly reminder to be so grateful. I know for sure that it's possible for all of us to shift those memories or something that stops us in our tracks to recreate what story we tell ourselves about what that means.

I think that is so important because of how many times we have triggers in our past. There can be so many negative connotations and it holds us back. We get paralysis because we're in such fear and we get bound by that. How do we course correct that, flip the switch and create this space? This doesn't have to be a fear-based type of reaction, but we don't have to react to it. We can respond to it and we can flip a switch in our brain to think another thought about it. It may take a little while to train our brain to do it, but it's absolutely possible. You definitely even educated yourself through school of how to do that. That’s where I could get a lot more coaching from you. You've got the professional side of it.

Mastermind: When we release fear, things come into manifestation.

Mastermind: When we release fear, things come into manifestation.

I’m interested in this. Everyone has something, however happy their childhood was. The way we interpreted things was maybe messing with our perception.

Why did you decide to jump into creating a mastermind and doing coaching? What led you to that? What led you in school to really have a heart and a passion for that?

There are many different things, but one of the most important thing for me was I was very successful. I was in sales doing Salesforce software company. I'm getting so much off of that.

I am so enamored by how people make a shift and a pivot from one career to another. You absolutely did that when you went from sales to diving into the coaching arena and it seemed like without a hitch. I want to know what was going on in your brain. What caused the shift and why? What was pulling you to that next season in your life?

It was during a very painful moment in my life. I think I've always had inklings years prior to making the shift. I wanted to make it. I felt like this is the next thing I should be pursuing. I was afraid and I didn't know life coaching was so new. Years ago, it was just a unicorn profession and people didn't even know what a life coach was. I was afraid because I made a good income and I wanted and needed the money. I enjoyed it and it was very difficult, “How am I going to make money? What does that look like? Will people hire me?” Things like that. I was extremely interested in personal development and psychology. Every free minute, I would spend all of my time there. It wasn't for me until I lost a child that things started to change.

It was this journey of infertility that was a huge wake-up call. First, I was sad. I was mad and pissed. I'm like, “After about six miscarriage, something is off. I need to listen to what the body whispers before it screams,” and it was screaming. I have ignored all the whispers until then. For me, if it was losing a job or not making money or something like that, I would figure it out. It’s like, “I am the cat that lands on all fours no matter what.” This was something that was so much more personal. This is a thing that I was supposed to do as a woman. It was so painful and I wanted a child. I proceeded to have a total of nine miscarriages. I was told that it was never going to have children. I stopped meeting friends. I committed to the gym, God, personal development and I went down the rabbit hole. I'm like, “Who am I? What do I want?”

It was the greatest gift that I was given. For a fact, I know that that was supposed to be my journey. In that process, I enrolled in a graduate degree for coaching because I wanted to do it. I said, “If I'm not going to have a child then I'm going to go all in this. I'm going to enjoy my life.” I had quit my job, I sold all my practice and lo and behold, shortly thereafter I got pregnant. I had two children in a year. When it rains, it pours. It's a sign that when we release so much of the fear or whatever it was, things do come into manifestation. I have to have such a strong wake-up call to say, “Screw it, I'm going to go and pursue my passion because if I'm ever going to be a mother, then I'm going to do this.” It's like my first baby and I have never ever looked back.

I had been doing that for about a decade in the Twin Cities and nationally. I used to speak quite a bit. I don't do that anymore because I have the little ones. I absolutely love what I do. For me, it was deciding that I'm very good at this. I have a gift. I want to do this because it's so fulfilling. I had the sales and business background and I knew how to get my business off the ground. Very quickly my business was flourishing, then I noticed there are other people who are struggling. A lot of my clients were starting their businesses. We started Minneapolis mastermind, now Uplevel Together Mastermind. We are renaming. We've been doing that ever since. I can't even begin to tell you how much that fills me up.

I've seen so many testimonials even on Instagram of the women's lives that you have changed through that. That is so powerful. You and I met through the mastermind in California and you're paying that forward. You did that even before this was in fruition. There's so much power in being able to link arms and say, “I'm here and I can help you get to where you want to go.” Iron sharpens iron. You have a group of like-minded entrepreneurs that are all there helping each other to facilitate helping each other to reach their goals. You can facilitate that. What a gift you can give to all those people in the room.

It is and they are so magnificent. You saw what history inspired in our group. I mean mastermind, they're so incredibly powerful. I've always known that. Many of us feel lonely. I know I have been thinking, “What if I'm a fraud? What if I'm not good enough?” The whole Uplevel Together, when we come together and we combine our forces or skills, so much can be accomplished. I remember Lori telling us at our mastermind, “If we all use each other in this room, wouldn’t we solve all of our problems?” The answer was a resounding yes. I believe in working together. I believe in cooperation over competition and that women are rising up saying there's more than enough. If I support you in any way, I know that I'm supporting myself at the same time.

For the peace of the audience that they don't know what a mastermind is, why don't you share what a mastermind is and how yours actually runs? They can get a bird's eye view about what it's all about and reach out to you if they feel like they're out on an island and they need help.

Masterminds have been around for a very long time. Napoleon Hill has infamously dubbed the masterminds. You have to find a mastermind. The definition is two minds are better than one, two minds coming together to solve the problem. Masterminds are group of people who are coming together and they are figuring out ways in which they can grow and figure out the ways in which they can solve each other's problems. They come together and they use each other skills. You say, “I have this problem, can you help me? Can you brainstorm?” It's absolutely amazing. Our groups are very eclectic. It’s people who own brick and mortar stores to someone who is a young millennial who knows about Instagram and they teach each other these things. We have a group where three women are literally starting a company together.

Mastermind: If you believe that someone has it together, look under the hood.

Mastermind: If you believe that someone has it together, look under the hood.

 That's incredible to me. They're individuals, they have their individual businesses, but they were like, “We could collaborate.” They’re starting a company together. That's amazing. They're best friends. They're making videos for each other. They're promoting each other on Instagram. I think it's more than anything else to this support, where you have an army of people behind you, supporting you in whatever it is that you want to do. You can cry in front of them. You can dream in front of them. You can be super confident. You could be a total lady boss. No one is going to judge you how it is that you show up because this is an opportunity to show up with all of your mind. We bring in speakers. Yes, I facilitate and I have tremendous amount of knowledge that I can pass on to these individuals, but I don't know everything. I bring people from all walks of life.

We bring speakers around mindfulness and then specialists like journalists, people who teach them how to connect with the media. How to sell themselves in the PR world? We have Instagram workshops, Pinterest's workshops. The focus is on how do you get very clear what it is you want? For me, a huge pillar of the group in a mastermind is self-care, understanding that you absolutely cannot function if you're not healthy physically or mentally. People who join my mastermind, we're going to grow our businesses, create abundance but first and foremost health by far. We invest heavily in that and what does that look like. We align and not hustle. One of the things that I would say that’s my specialty is visibility. It’s being able to sell yourself.

If we have a product or a service and we believe in it with all our might, we're depriving others of not sharing it with them. I keep thinking, “Do you know how many people in the world do not know I exist? I think that's a problem.” We assume that I have these services and no one is buying. They don't know you exist. I'm sorry, Instagram is not the only marketing strategy. It's a phenomenal tool and we need to learn to how to use it. At the same time, you have to show up and you have to be able to sell yourself that confidence. If you don't, you're not going to be successful in business.

I love the way that you put that because I wasn't even very well versed in what a mastermind was before I started. Even meeting you, that was one of the first tip-offs of understanding what it was. I will tell you, some of my biggest breakthroughs in my business have come through masterminds and coaches because they're there in front of you. When you have someone, success leaves clues so does failure. When you find someone who's done what you've done, they're going to give you those shortcuts. Even Chris Harder says, he says, “Collaboration is the new shortcut.” It's the new black. I agree with that 1,010%. Collaboration is the new shortcut. That's what you are creating in the marketplace. My hat is off to you, Jasna. What I think is so unique is you're taking it to that next step of creating that power partnership right along with you and your husband doing this together. You've got the masculine energy, the feminine energy and then all bets are off. I’m super excited about this next step in that in your business.

I'm going to let the cat out of the bag. We're expanding the mastermind. We're doing a couple’s mastermind. That is why he is joining. We realized that so many couples struggle with connecting, communicating and having strong marriages. They seek help when it's too late. We looked around and said couples are busy, especially if they have children. They're not investing in each other. We oil our car more than we spend on our relationship. We were going to be covering things like couples coming together. What are your money mindset beliefs? What are your blocks? How do we build a vision together, getting them on the same page? We call it a Date Night Mastermind.

Are they in business together? Is one person building the business and the other person is supporting them or is it a combination?

They are not even necessarily in business. This is for all couples. Uplevel Together is now branching out and having multiple babies.

You’re helping couples in their relationship and all the things that revolve around it. You’re teaching them total wellness and helping them to Uplevel Together more or less.

How do you become a power couple? We have to work on that.

I want to know from social media, it looks like you have it all together, which I truly feel that you do. I want to peel back the layers and I want to know what was one of your biggest rock bottom moments and how did you recover and what did you learn from it?

No one has it together. If you ever believe that someone has it together, look under the hood. I talk about that all the time on social media. When I have a bad day, I will literally intentionally go on social media on Instagram and I will talk about it because people put me on a pedestal. Here's the thing, 99.9% of the time, I am literally Pollyanna. I'm happy go lucky. I am always positive and I find a way because I prime myself. I believe that you need to protect your energy. I do that, but not everyone does that. I've had so many moments. One of the biggest ones, truthfully, was the period of miscarriages. That brought me to my knees. I remember, I think it was like third or fourth miscarriage and I'm so far along. I'm in such amount of pain, keeling over in the bathroom floor.

I'm calling the nurse and I feel like I'm giving birth. I feel like these are real contractions. She said, “Honey, those are real contractions and your body's trying to expel the baby and you have to take pain meds, but you have to see it through.” I remember having that moment on the bathroom floor praying and thinking. For me, it was the bottom. It was the pain, physical pain, but emotional pain. It’s truly a loss. From that what I did, I went into personal development because I think that every time something happens, our job is to look into not why is this happening to me, but why is this happening for me? I firmly believe that had I listened to small nudges or whispers I have been getting all along. It wouldn't have gotten to that point. I was out of alignment. I was working out two or three hours a day training to be a bikini diva. I had all of this stuff. I was living completely out of alignment. I wasn't mindful. I wasn't investing in myself. I slowed down. I changed the way I was eating, how I was behaving and spent more time in nature. I slowed down and simplified my life.

Mastermind: Being so aligned and balanced is going to prepare you no matter what winds come your way.

Mastermind: Being so aligned and balanced is going to prepare you no matter what winds come your way.

I'm such an evangelist of simplicity, spending time in nature, focusing on what matters most so I could literally lose everything. My family, that’s my priority, my relationship with God. That's the only thing that I care about. Everything else is extra. What helped me was to say, “What do you want out of this? What is this teaching you?” I remember saying, “Tell me God why, please.” I used to read a book, Return to Love. It's based on A Course of Miracles and it says, “Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? Please show me the way and make it so obvious that I know that it's from you. Amen.” I say that prayer over and over again when I'm stuck because the guidance always comes if I get still. I had another big moment. My dad died. I've had so many moments, but I think that I'm able to let myself feel them and go back to why would you have me go and then sit still and listen to where I'm needed.

I've found that sometimes those moments where you feel you're knocked to your knees, it shakes you up so hard from your core, you put your arms up and you're like, “God, I trust you. I don't know where else to go. I don't know what else to do.” I feel like that's when you can truly be in the smack dab middle of God's will and be aligned with where he wants you to go. That is such a beautiful, peaceful place. There can use so much hurt and there can be so much pain that can happen along the way. I love how you said that it all happens for a purpose and a reason for such a time as this in the lessons that you can learn. Thank you for being who you are and sharing that message with so many. I feel like one of the things that is one of your superpowers is your soul is spiritually in tune as well. For that person that says, “I don't even feel like I have a connection to God. Where do I even begin?” You mentioned you prime yourself. Give a little bit of insight for those people that feel like, “I just don't even know where to start.” What's the first step?”

Many people are not religious or they don't have a god. For me it's not a particular faith that I ascribe to, but I believe in oneness. My belief is God is within us, oneness or universe. I think it's that stillness. Be still and know that I am God. If we still ourselves, I always know that I'm not alone. If we can get to that space of absolute stillness and surrender, then there's an observer there. You cannot notice that you are not the only one there. There's this majestic force. It loads of you up and hugs you with this light. I feel it's often and it used to be such a rare occurrence. I used to like, “How do I get this more? I wanted the feeling.” I invite it and I invite it through practices. All these are in nature. Nature for me is a place of worship.

When I do a forest bathing per Dr. Eva Selhub, I will go for twenty minutes and pay attention to the sounds of the nature. Nature, the rocks, the leaves, the flowers, they have so much to teach us. If I can get out of my own way, I quiet the thoughts because the thoughts are not me and thoughts are not God. If I can appear in that stillness and invite a little bit more, I create such a sacred space. I get up every morning at 4:00 AM because I'm an introvert and it's the only time that I'm alone. For me, I will forego asleep to have that time. It's being still, being very quiet and very mindful. All of this is asking because when you ask for help, the guidance all comes.

I am going to ask the questions that I always ask the guests and I love getting the different answers. If someone met you and said, “I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots, what's my first step?”

What do you want? In order to become a boss of your own life, you have to know what that means. It's very different for everyone. I would want to get clarity on what that means. We assume everyone is an entrepreneurial soul, but not everyone is. What does it mean to be a boss of your life? I would go for the ideal. What would the life look like? How much money would you make? Where would you live? Who would you be with?” We would reverse engineer that to say, “This is where you want to be, this is where you at right now. Here's the first step you need to take to get there.”

What is your definition of a boss?

I don't know. I never thought of that. I have so much attached to it. It's like, I don't even like the word boss. I prefer not to use it. I would say someone in charge.

Any last words of wisdom? You've already dropped so many knowledge bombs. Anything else you want to share with the audience?

We are living in such unprecedented times and I think that this is an invitation from all of us. These are very unique times. I think that life is more complicated than ever because of the busy-ness of life. It has never been more important to slow down and connect with our true selves. The biggest quest in the world of hustle and entrepreneurship in the next years is going to be reversal, going back to the basics and taking care of our mental health. It's so beautiful and important to create a life of abundance. Abundance is a God-given right. We all have the same access and we all should pursue it, but I believe that there is absolutely nothing more important in the entire world than having inner peace, feeling that equilibrium.

It’s waking up, feeling good about yourself and going to bed grateful for what you have. That happens. People struggle so much and we need to immerse ourselves in the space of self-love. This is so counter to so many entrepreneurial souls that I work with. I believe that I am going to get there. I have very big goals. I'm fired up. Everyone needs to get out of the way because I'm so excited. I will never, not even for a second lose sight of what's most important and that's my mental and physical health. It may take me longer. I may get there faster if I hustle and I think that that's going to be to the detriment of Mother Nature, to the detriment of my personal health, physical, mental, emotional, then the health of my family and everyone else around me.

I think that in the world of Instagram and feeling we're not enough or people haven’t figured out is to place a hand on the heart and say, “I'm exactly I need to be, but I don't have to stay there.” If you're not where you want to be, first of all, it's a surrender. Secondly, it gives me the steps to move forward and hope that better days coming because change is the only constant. When we think we have it figured out, something changes. Having a solid footing, knowing who you are, being so aligned and balanced is going to prepare you no matter what winds come your way.

I know the life is going to bring many more hardships and losses because that's life. My job is to stay primed and fortified. When those things happen, they're going to shake me. In a tree pose, you may move a little bit, but you're not going to fall down. I hope that was useful. I am in a season of my life were so many exciting things are happening, I also believe that we need to balance the whole the Yin and Yang, some of the older spiritual texts have given us the prescription on how to live. I try to listen to that because I figured they know what they're doing.

I know so many of my audience are going to want to connect with you. Give them all your handles.

Come play with me or an Instagram. Instagram is such a fun place for me right now. You can find me at @Jasna.Burza or just come to my website, JasnaBurza.com/Mastermind if you want to learn about that. I respond to every single DM and I will respond to every single question about following your purpose, being a boss or making money. If anyone has a question, I will be there for them and take the time to respond.

I will vouch for this. She is the real deal and cares so deeply to help people to win not only in business, but in life holistically. That's what I just absolutely treasure about you, Jasna. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to connect and add so much value to my tribe. I love you. I adore you. Until next time. You know what you need to do. You need to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Talk soon.

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About Jasna Burza

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Jasna is a Professional Certified life and business Coach and founder of Uplevel Together Minneapolis Mastermind. She spent the last decade working with individuals and organizations such as US Bank, Athleta, Coca-Cola on topics of resilience and life purpose. She was featured on CBS-WCCO as “A Minnesotan to Meet” and is a frequent guest expert on TV shows. Jasna’s positivity and passion for dreams is not only infectious but is guaranteed to energize and empower those around. Having lived through refugee camp during the war in native Bosnia, Jasna teaches and inspires others to learn resilience, create purpose and connect to a deeper meaning of life, aligning their skills and passions with their work and making an impact bigger than they had imagined.

 

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Decide It's Your Turn with Christina Lecuyer

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As a professional golfer in a man’s world, Christina Lecuyer used to think her comfort lies with connecting with men more than women, until she realized her calling to be around women and helping them feel confident and connected as they want to be. Shifting across many phases in her life, Christina has been a three-time reality television competitor and golf hosting specialist turned life coach, speaker, and founder of Women with C.L.A.S.S. Mastermind and “Decide It’s Your Turn: Women’s Weekend.” Christina shares that journey with us - what prompted her to completely want to shift, start her own brand, and follow what her heart was calling for. Reassuring those who are also on the fence, Christina explains why it's essential to be aware and see what is serving you and brings joy.

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Listen to the podcast here:

Decide It's Your Turn with Christina Lecuyer

I made a decision to join a Mastermind and I gulped when I invested a good chunk of change to invest in myself. I know when I invest in myself that is the law of the lid. You can only go past the level of where your lid will let you go. That's one of John C. Maxwell’s principles in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. I knew in my gut I needed to pull the trigger on joining this Mastermind in California. I was a little bit nerve-wracked to get outside my comfort zone, jump on a plane and fly out to a place that I have no idea who any of these people are. I've been a full-time entrepreneur for several years, and I can honestly say in my heart of hearts, this has been the best return on investment and we're basically halfway through the Mastermind. Events change lives. There was one human being that I met at this event that I am so honored to have on the podcast. She has changed my life.

She called me out on a BS story that I was telling myself and I have to say, I am forever grateful. You guys are in for a gift. Take some notes. I want to introduce you to the roommate that I had out in California. Christina Lecuyer is a professional athlete. She's a three-time reality television competitor. She's a golf hosting specialist, a life coach, speaker and Founder of Women with C.L.AS.S. Mastermind as well as an event that I decided to sponsor because I believe in it so wholeheartedly. The name of the event is, Decide It's Your Turn. It's May 16th to the 18th. Let me just give you a little bit more of a background on this Christina. She's a former professional golfer and host that has raised millions of dollars for charity and used her skills as a human connection specialist, to facilitate business relationships via the golf course. She networks and connects like a boss. Her clients include Forbes list CEOs, Wall Street Executives and numerous global charities.

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My guest is from Texas and you are in for an extreme treat. I met her at the Mastermind that I was a part of. Her heart for people in connecting I don't know if I've ever experienced this in a human being before. She has such a beautiful soul. I am so honored and blessed to introduce you to my guest, Christina Lecuyer. She is a professional athlete. Three-time reality television competitor, golf hosting specialist, life coach, speaker and founder of Women with Women with C.L.AS.S. Mastermind as well as the event that I am super pumped to be, Decide It's Your Turn. What's so neat about her is she's such a well-rounded human being. She's a former professional golfer and host. Christina's helped raise millions of dollars for charities and used her skills as a human connection specialist to facilitate business relationships via the golf course. Her clients include Forbes lists CEO’s, Wall Street Executives and numerous global charities. She knows how to connect like a boss. Christina, thank you so much for being a part of this.

I'm so thankful that the universe put you in my life. I cannot tell you what a blessing it has been to connect with you, Amy and Jasna. We are fast foundations, family for life and I'm so grateful to be on your podcast. I adore you.

A lot of times when I connect with women, I connect with women, but these group of three women that we were roomies for the Mastermind, we got up close and personal.

We did. We had no idea what we got ourselves into, two rooms for four women, two bathrooms and all of us. It's not like we're eighteen-years-old. We can all afford our own hotel rooms and do our own things and we all got very uncomfortable, which made us amazingly good friends. I would never take that back for a second and we're doing the exact same thing again by choice.

I'm so looking forward to it and some people that you connect with on another level and I'm honored to have you with my circle. I think it's fascinating. I was talking with Jasna about this on one of the podcast. We were just talking about the shift, the pivot and I am so intrigued by that. I want to hear what happened to you when you were making a ton of money. You were in your sweet spot as far as your gifting of being amazing at golf, connecting with guys and getting the job done. What prompted you to completely want to shift out of that, start your own brand, start your Mastermind and start what your heart was calling for?

I've shifted a few times in life. This last shift, even though it was as scary as the first ones, I had done it before so maybe it wasn't that scary. Originally, I shifted when I was about eighteen-years-old into playing golf. I had never played golf until I was eighteen. At 21, I got a college scholarship and that's how I got to Arkansas. I'm based in Arkansas. My event is in Texas. I shifted when I was eighteen. I had no idea that I was going to play golf. I came to college. I did the whole college pro golf thing for probably about six years. I shifted from playing professional golf full-time to hosting corporate and charity golf events, raising the money, playing with the executives, doing all that. That was a big shift. I shifted from playing to hosting, which no one had ever done before and treated it as a full-time job. I shifted from doing that full-time to then working more so with women.

Self-development had come into my life years ago. I was playing professional golf, hosting these events was a huge blessing to me. Before that, I tied all of my worth and who I was as a human to what I did, how I looked, how much money I was making and all of the things that will never get you the happiness. You can check all the boxes but they don't equal happiness. Leaving golf, which for me was purely trying to chase something that I thought was going to make me happy and didn't, to connecting with men on the golf course, making the connection with them. That was what I was good at. The golf was just the platform I did it on. Changing that and knowing that women were looking up to me how I was able to be confident, how I was able to hang in a man's world, how I was able to truly like and love what I was doing. They wanted to know how to do that.

That was when I finally had this shift on my heart that I was becoming so much more comfortable with myself. I was able to be more comfortable around women for a long time and life. I believed women were catty. Women were mean. Women were out to get me for certain reasons, but what I have come to realize is I didn't like me. I was uncomfortable with me and I projected that on other women, so I know that I'm okay, I'm completely comfortable with other women. I want other women to be loved, heard, seen, all of the stuff, feels so comfortable and so confident in them that I am on a journey to connect with other women, to make them feel as comfortable. Connected and badass as they want to be.

Even you know Lady Boss Empire being a faith-based empowerment platform and resource center for women. When you can connect women, have us link arms together as a tribe and a community, that’s rough. I feel so many women need permission to lead and to feel like it's okay to step into their zone of genius. With you, when you are feeling that calling to help women, how did you shift out of the professional golf scene? That would be a hard thing to shift out of.

It was extremely hard because I believe for such a long time that I was golf. Christina was golf and if she didn't do anything besides golf, who was she? Did I have the knowledge base to be able to shift into anything else? Absolutely I did. That was a lie that I told myself. That's one of the cool things about what I get to do. I get to talk to my clients and talk to the people that are in my tribe that, “Just because you did something for a long time it doesn't mean that that's what you have to do forever.” That is a very scary place sometimes to be associated so heavily with one thing yet knowing in your soul and listening to your higher power and saying, “Just because you did this for a long time doesn't mean you have to do it forever. There's no forever is in this. You can shift whenever that calling comes upon you.”

Shifting To Your Purpose: Usually, the things that scare you are exactly what you need to be doing.

Shifting To Your Purpose: Usually, the things that scare you are exactly what you need to be doing.

For me, I truly had to trust myself to start shifting out of the golf world, which I’m not ever completely going out of the golf world, but I now know. I have used that as a tool to get so much experience, so much knowledge, so much out of that, that I'm able to use what I've learned on the golf course to take it off the golf course. I'm doing the same thing. I'm connecting with human beings on the highest level and encouraging them to be their best, most authentic selves. I'm no longer using the golf course as a platform.

When you made that shift, it wasn’t, I have to completely make the shift over here and I can never go back to that thing that maybe there are components of it that are still bring you joy. Feeling like you don't have to throw out the baby with the bath water, that you still be in your zone of genius there, but saying, “There's this higher calling that I want to work these synergistically with each other so that I feel fulfilled. Listening to that still small voice and be in your zone of genius.” That's awesome.

I believe that that's true. A lot of people sometimes believe that they have to give up one completely to do the other. I also think too, that if you're holding onto the one thing because it's safe, you're not able to go fully into the other one where you should be. That is sometimes a battle that you've got to figure out what you're doing it for. I still find a ton of joy with the events that I do that bring me my highest amount of joy, but I also know I catch myself. If I have a lot of anxiety or not wanting to do an event built up, but I'm doing out of a scarcity mindset, I think that that's a difference. You have to be able to literally tune into yourself and realize, “Am I doing this because it absolutely brings me joy and I know I need to be doing it? Am I doing this for a scarcity reason and feeling I can't fully dive into the other one because I should be doing this thing just in case that other one doesn't work out?” People need to be able to tune into that because it's a very important thing.

There is so much wisdom there. I want to go into this piece. I think a lot of people see themselves in that. What would be one, two or even three questions that when you're getting super still, you should ask yourself to be very self-aware on, is this thing over here serving me and does it bring me joy? Should I completely shift over here? How do you ask yourself those key questions to make sure that you're thinking clearly and you're not letting fear overtake you or I should or this person's going to be upset with me if I don't do this or this is where the money comes from? This will be safe. What key questions should you ask yourself at that point?

The first thing that automatically came to my mind right there is, would you be doing it if it was 100% free? Would I go and be doing what I'm doing if I wasn't paid for it? Absolutely. The answer is yes. Those certain events in the golf industry that I have probably been holding onto a little too long. Would I be doing them over doing what I'm doing now? The answer is absolutely no. I would much rather be doing what I'm doing now, so why would I choose those other things? Probably because that's what I've always done. That brings guaranteed income. I know it's easy. There are certain things like that. The scary stuff I think a lot of us if it just purely scares you and it makes you feel uncomfortable, that's one thing. If it scares you and yet there's some little aspect of joy about the what if, I would definitely try to look into that a little bit more. Usually, the things that scare you are exactly what you need to be doing. If you're doing something that's like “Ho-hum,” don't even have to think about, chances are you've probably been doing it a little too long. You need to find another thing that brings up those butterflies again.

I think that resonates with so many people, myself included. With that though, let's say there's that person that says, “At the end of the day, Christina, I’ve got to pay my bills. I have to make sure that I'm not putting my family in jeopardy in order to pursue this passion.” What is that happy medium and how can I still be pursuing what I'm passionate about but yet still pay my bills?

I love it and I hear this quite often. What action are you taking, to make sure that you can be doing what you want to do on a daily basis? I gave a speech and I was talking about, if it brings you joy, it doesn't always bring you income. “I enjoy doing this, but there's no income associated or I want to do this so badly, but I don't know how to get to the end result.” Most of us don't know how to get to the end result, but you have to take some action every single day and slowly but surely the universe God will show you how to get there. By you not taking action, you're not going to get anywhere close to that. The analogy I used at this event that I was speaking at was, if you love baking cupcakes but you have no idea how you're going to own the bakery, how you're going to come up with unique recipes, how you’re going to get the social media following, how you're going to monetize it, that's all great. Are you baking the cupcakes every single day when you get home from work? Are you googling the best recipes? Are you creating the next whatever it is in the cupcake industry? Are you looking for places to go and get your cupcakes out?

Are you creating social media following every single day? What can you do every single day that is going to get you closer to being able to do that 50% of the time? When I started doing what I'm doing, it was 95% golf, 5% this. I'm very fortunate that it's 85% the women, the Masterminds, all that, but I still do 15% of the golf. Those 15% that I do, I truly love them, but I'll be honest, it was probably 35% and there was a few of them that I needed to do because that gave me the income to be putting on this live event and spending $100,000 that I may not have had, to do that if I wasn't doing the golf events. Sometimes you have to do the things that are not necessarily a 100% want to be doing, but you also be having to take action to get where you want to do it. I went from 90% to 75% to probably 35% and I'm only doing seven to eight events, which is probably about 15% of what I used to do full-time. I'm still able to use the money from this side in order to invest in this side. Sometimes you just have to take action. It's never going to happen overnight.

What I heard from that is get crystal clear on your vision. That'll light up a fire inside of you that, “This is why I'm going towards this.” Also those habits every single day, making sure that you're putting that forward. Even if you can't do all-out massive action, which if you've got a family, you've got kids, you've got a job, you might not be able to go out with all-out massive action. At least make it a habit on a daily basis that you can do at least a little something so that you can slowly shift over and not compromising those store hours. Those are non-negotiables for you.

You have to take consistent action. You may not be able to tell the difference that you're making in a month, in three months. You look back in a year, you will 100% see where you've come in a year if you're consistently showing up and taking small amounts of action. It is like night and day. It's like if you're trying to lose ten pounds. You're not going to lose the ten pounds in a week, but if you show up and take consistent action for six months, you probably will. You'll look back and you'll be like, “Every small little change I made, every glass of water I drank, every 30 minutes at the gym, every small choice that I made, it adds up over time.” Most of us want immediate gratification. I'll tell you, the most successful people in the world, they show up and they do the little things every single solitary day. It's boring people, but it works.

 

Shifting To Your Purpose: Every minute that you don't listen to your calling, you are harming yourself.

Shifting To Your Purpose: Every minute that you don't listen to your calling, you are harming yourself.

I will tell you in my journey, one of the things that have sped up my actual results is when I make a decision. A lot of times, I'm looking back at my whole entrepreneurial journey. I have made some of my biggest game changer type of decisions at an event. That's why I am so lit up about your event. I can't even get over. I'm so obsessed with the name, Decide It’s Your Turn. For every boss that is reading this I don't care if you're getting your hair done. Whatever you're doing, I want you to read this. All you need is to decide that it's your turn. Give yourself permission. You can listen to all the podcast, you can read all the books, you can do all the things, but until you make that decision, most of the time you don't make that decision when you are in the same environment, doing the same thing over and over with the same type of people. You're in that daily grind, you sometimes can't think clearly, you think you're living life by a design, but you're living life by default and keeping your head above water.

When you can clear your head, fly out to a destination and get around like-minded people where iron sharpens iron. They are where you want to be, they give you the tools and the action steps to get you to where you want to go, that's where I believe the magic happens. That's what happened to me at the Mastermind when I met you. That's why you are so near and dear to my heart. I will share this down the line. I don't even know if I could. Our moment in the elevator where I broke down, and I started bawling. There were some major shifts I needed to make in my life, but if I hadn't got myself in the room, it would be very unlikely that I would've made those draw the line in the sand type of decision. I want to talk about why you decided to do this event, where it's going and what it's all about?

Everything that you said, I wanted to be like, “Hallelujah, amen,” all of the above. I truly believe that this is a calling on my soul in order to do this. I have seen the women in this seat for so long. I have known in my soul that this is my calling to do. I had such peace with it when I decided to do this. The entire journey I will tell you is the hardest journey you'll ever take, but it's so worth it. Every time I think about, “I'm done” there's zero chance that I'm done. I cannot walk away from this because I know for a fact that it matters. It changed my life when I started surrounding myself with unbelievable, epic humans who vibrated at the highest level, who all came together in one room, in one Mastermind, in one live event, in one coaching session. I'm telling you, you can hang around with the same people. You can say that there's no one in your community. You can do all those things, but I am here to tell you there are like-minded people.

There are people that will set you on fire and hold you accountable to listening to your God-given passion, your God-given purpose on this planet. We all have that purpose and I want you to get off your phone. I want you to get out of doing the same old thing that you do every single day and I want you to take action for your life. I hate to tell you, but time is running out. I'm getting older each day and I know that. Sometimes I look back and I'm like, “I cannot believe I didn't realize that you have to go to live events, you have to go to Masterminds, you have to hire coaches, you have to do this, you have to take action.” Sometimes it's scary. Leaving your family, for all you moms out there finding childcare, leaving the mom guilt. I have to buy a flight. I never even thought in my life because I always traveled with golf, but there were women who came to our Mastermind who had never taken a trip by themselves.

I used to travel all the time and I can book my flight like a boss. I've got all of this under control, but I was still nervous to go to my first live event because I never felt like I was smart enough. I didn't feel like I had all my things together. I didn't feel like I knew enough. I shouldn't have been in that room, but I'm telling you, I deserve to be in that room. You deserve to be in that room and I never want you to doubt. If it is a calling on your soul to get in the rooms, to go to Masterminds, to hire coaches, to be around like-minded people. You need to listen to that, and by every minute that you don't listen to that, you are harming yourself. I promise you there was probably about a five year span when I first dove into self-development that I always wanted to do these things and when I finally took action, it was a game changer. I say it all the time to my clients.

I say, “Once you know, you know,” because it's almost like you drank this Kool-Aid and you're like, “These humans exist. I need to be around them 24/7.” The fact that you and I are partners we are literally partners for life. We are accountability partners in the fact that I know that you've got my back and I've got yours. I know what you've accomplished in business, so I want to be around you. I know what you've accomplished in life, I know your faith, I know your drive, your passion and your goals. I want to be around that because I don't ever want to sit. I say my worst week would be to have to sit around, gossip, drink wine, watch reality shows and feel bad about myself eating bonbons. I do not want to do any of those things. I want to go and surround myself, take off my makeup and lay on the floor in a two-bedroom condo with four girls at midnight. I want to talk about the best things in our lives, all of our goals, dreams and ambitions. Where we want to go, who we want to impact and how we can be a higher version of ourselves, that lights me on fire. I want every single person to experience that.

Honestly, the entrepreneurial journey can be so extremely isolating, and you keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results. That is the definition of insanity. You have to get yourself into those rooms. There are two options. You can pick your higher-self or your lower-self. Your lower-self is going to try to tell you, you don't have the funds to get there. You're going to feel uncomfortable. All these doubts that start to rent space in your head, unless you say, “Not now, Satan.” I'm going to up level and I'm going to become the boss of my own life. I owe it to myself. God has given me a gift and I need to pay that forward.

I need to show up as the highest version, the best self that I can be because that's going to give so many other people permission in the process and knowing that you're not the only unicorn out there. When I met you, I met Jasna, I met Amy, I met so many incredible human beings. I've met some phenomenal entrepreneurs, but this is another level of people. When I just thought to myself, “I've been dreaming small,” you know you're in the right room. If you feel you were the smartest person in the room, get out of that room. I'm getting off on a random tangent. I was in the room. I went to a bar and there was a pregnant lady. There was a girl that had an injury, then there was another girl that didn't know what she was doing.

I felt so amazing and I caught it. I was like, “Stef, slow your roll,” but the day before, I went to a yoga sculpt class and I was sucking air. I was drenched in sweat. Did I feel so amazing over there? No, but did I get way better results over there? Yes. When you can be able to think to yourself, “I don't want to be in the status quo the rest of my life. I know that there is something out there that is more. I know that I'm being called to be more and to do more.” That's why you need to go to an event. That's all there is to it.

It's May 16th to the 18th in Austin and share any other things of the amazing people that are going to be speaking there and we can keep rolling. I had to share this because honestly, if you're reading and you're like, “Something needs to change.” This is your opportunity. You have the opportunity to turn this podcast off and say, justify why you can't go or you can turn this podcast off and say, “I'm going to book my flight because I know that I owe it to myself to change my life.”


Shifting To Your Purpose: You have to know that it's God providing that little carrot that you need to keep going to fulfill whatever He put in you to do.

Shifting To Your Purpose: You have to know that it's God providing that little carrot that you need to keep going to fulfill whatever He put in you to do.

 You know you've done this, you've been there, you've booked those flights the minute you turned off a podcast. I've done the exact same thing and I'm telling you, it's life changing. This event is going to be incredible. Austin is the number one city in the country to go for a Bachelorette party in a woman's weekend. I was just down there. Everything is walkable. It's a beautiful time to be in Austin. It's warm, it's booming, it's gorgeous. Our speakers are incredible. We have ten speakers coming in from around the country, over a million followers between all of us. We have everyone from the fitness industry mindset. We have celebrity trainers guiding us through morning workouts. I have a clinical psychologist who works with my Mastermind. She is next level, Dr. Fern Kazlow. She's incredible. We have Angie Lee, who is the marketing guru of the country. We have Girl Confident, Rachel Luna who literally speaks her mind. Do you think I speak my mind? That girl has a whole next level. She's a Christian as well, which I love. I'm so thankful for that.

Two of my greatest girlfriends, Erin Hohnbaum. Erin is incredible. She's a traditional brick and mortar business. She started her clothing company out of her closet and she has a franchise across the southern United States. Absolute badass when it comes to business, but a mindset of a badass as well. Lindsey Schwartz, she has women's events all over. She's doing one in Dominican Republic, New Mexico, Phoenix. Doc Jen Fit, who's been in the fitness industry for such a long time. Jen is one of the greatest humans to me. I could never repay her for the blessing that she's been in my life. There are incredible speakers. I am very fortunate to say that we have unbelievable sponsors like Lady Boss Empire. We have swag bags that are off the hook. I was in the golf industry, which is so fun. My sponsor TaylorMade Golf is sending all of us logoed golf balls. I have all sorts of fun snacks. Kize Bars, Nutpods, Five Minute Journals, jewelry companies are sponsoring it. I think our swag bags might be worth more than the ticket itself.

Do yourself a favor. Come join us. It's going to be incredible and your life is going to change if you Decide It's Your Turn. Thank you, Christina, for standing and rising up. Events are not for the faint of heart. You are stepping up and you are putting it on because you're feeling prompted. I did that for my book launch. I didn't know what I was doing and I hustled. It was not easy, but it is just such a beautiful journey, so excited about that. We're going to switch gears a little bit and talk more about your entrepreneurial journey, where you come from, where you're going. I want to know, what has been your biggest rock bottom moments being an entrepreneur, how did you overcome it and what was your biggest takeaway?

I've had two what I would consider my rock bottoms in life. The first one was when I was playing golf. It wasn't necessarily in my entrepreneurial journey. It was the golf journey where I was so tied. My worth came from what I did. You can link this back to the entrepreneurial journey as well. Whatever industry that you're in, the entrepreneurial journey, if your highs and lows come from the number of people that are in your business, the amount of income in your business. All of the things that you think are going to be that next level, when I get here, when I get this car, when I hit this limit, when I get this promotion. If there's ever a “when if” to your happiness, I hate to tell you, but that is not working in life. It never will work. The happiness has to come, it has to come from knowing that you are worthy and you are 100% enough just being yourself. That does not mean that you're not striving for greatness, but that means that who you are is enough and everything that you accomplish is gravy is what I say. That was my first one was when I finally learned that my happiness, getting all of the golf stuff and being all of the golf things. Even if I would have won on tour, been the thing and had all the sponsors, made all the money and stuff. That was never going to get me true happiness. True happiness is knowing that you are enough being yourself. I think in the entrepreneurial journey, I've always been a little entrepreneur my entire life.

I remember hunting golf balls on my dad's course and selling them back to him for $0.50 when I was a kid. I've always been an entrepreneur. I had a partner when we first started, I can tell you with all honesty and complete adoration for this woman, I believe that that woman was a huge blessing in my life. Even though she pulled out, it was very difficult two, three days of my life, I honestly believe that the Lord put her in my life so I would go ahead and do this event. I know I wouldn't have believed that I could have done it without her, but when she said she was pulling out, I knew that I had to go and do this myself. That was definitely a hard part of the journey. Those three days there were very difficult and this whole journey has been crazy. Something that you said to me, which was so amazing, you're like, “No, Satan, not now.” It's so true. We all are hit by those things. Even on a daily basis. It doesn't matter if it's monumental. Sometimes there are things that just hit us, feel we are set back and we shouldn't be doing what we're doing.

Even someone in our Mastermind, I had a good conversation with them, they dove in and they said, “I just don't feel I belong or if I'm good enough in this room.” I was like, “No you don’t.” I said, “I may not be able to help you in what you're doing in your business, but I will make sure to help you know for a fact you are supposed to be in this room. If that is my reason for me being on this conversation with you, that's my reason and I want you to know that you are 100% supposed to be in this room. Every single person who's in this room is in this room for a purpose and a reason,” and I want you readers, to remember that there's going to be times where you feel you're an imposter. There is going to be times where you feel like, “I can't do this. I'm not made up for this,” but you have to trust within your soul to listen to your soul's calling, to listen to your higher power. If there’s any inkling with inside you pursuing whatever it is that you're doing, you cannot let the what ifs, the fears and the thought of failures stop you from doing the thing that sets your soul on fire.

I have to say when you are in partnership with someone and you guys are running towards a vision, you're running towards a mission and that person falls out or pulls out. I experienced that on another level and I was absolutely devastated. I literally screamed out to God like, “Why God did you allow this to happen?” I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, but when I truly look back on that, I think, it was such a beautiful journey up until that point of that partnership. She pulled out for a reason and it was divinely guided that it was right timing for her to go in a different direction. I wish her all the best and I pray blessings over her. Also knowing that that was for a time and that was for a season and it got us to learn a lot of things about ourselves.

It got us to learn more things about life and it happens for us, not to us. When we can learn those lessons, it's incredible. Looking back on that, would I ever want to go through that heartache again? Absolutely not. How is this all going to come together when you put it together, five, ten, fifteen year goals of where you're going, what you're doing, but then you look back and you're like, “I probably wouldn't have pushed myself to go to that next point if that person didn't leave.” I think it humbles us and also, it helps us to hit our knees and get that much closer to God when we feel we have nothing else to hold onto. We don't have a partner to hold onto. We don't have anything else surrounding us to hold onto. That's where the magic happens. When you can lean in and say, “God, it's just you and me. I'll let you be God. I'm going to show up, work like it depends on me and pray as it depends on you.”

It's the surrender. I will promise you it was almost like I had forgotten that I wasn't in control. I had forgotten that I've got to keep this under control and I was like, “God, this has been a bad show and I can't do this anymore” It’s almost like a switch when I asked, I was like, “I can't do this alone. What am I doing? I shouldn't be doing this alone.” This comes back to the faith thing, but when things are going good sometimes people put God on the shelf or they pick God back up. If things are going bad, they put God on the shelf or they pick God back up. You need him in this whole rodeo.

When it's good, when it's bad, 100% we are doing this together. When you remember that and surrender that, I am literally not in control. As much as I feel I set the alarms, done the things, paid the bills, talk to this person and getting all these things done, at the end of the day, there's going to be that one thing that switches on you and that's a total roadblock. I had no control over that. That's why you have to have your higher power as walking along this journey with you, with the highs and the lows because as you said, “I will work as hard as I can, but at the end of the day he is in control of everything.”

I think especially with our type of personalities, that type of lady boss that we have gotten so many amazing results in our career, yet we don't feel we're in control, we freak out, but literally when we get to that point of saying, “God, I don't know what else to do, so I'm going to give it on over to you.” That's when he's like, “It took you a little while, but I'm going to make my magic happen.” It's crazy to see how that works. I looked back on my career of twelve years, those moments when I've surrendered, when I'm at that rock bottom moment and I give it all over to him. He's like, “I've just been waiting for this. I'm going to open up the doors again.” Also, it's that place of trusting him in the highs, the lows and I love how you put that, Christina.

I’m going to tell a story about that. I've been saving and this little thing that's been happening to me. I heard someone talk about something how they were giving it up to the universe. I promise you it started to happen to me probably after I went to this event. It was a Christian women's event and I remember it when she said something. I was always looking for something and every single time I get to the point that I'm like, “I'm done. God.” My husband, I tell him all the time, he just laughs. He's like, “Of course that was about to happen. You always have that happen.” I was like, “It happens every single time.” I'm going to tell people to look for their thing because I don't want to spill it. I've been telling some of my clients and on many podcasts because I am going to tell the story there. It may not be as influential to them, but as soon as they find their thing, that always happens.

This woman was telling us a story of how she always sees this bird. She was like, “There's no chance a bird should fly by in a certain time. Every single time, God, I can't do this. There it is, there are birds.” That little thing has happened to me in life and it's been this crazy thing where you have to give it up. Every single time when you're at your, “Lord, it's all you.” Every time you get that phone call, you get that text message. You get that person showing up in your life. You get that one thing. He gives it to you, whatever you need, but you have to be willing to give it up and you have to be willing to accept what he's giving to you. You have to know that it's God just providing that little carrot that you need to keep going to fulfill whatever he put in you to do.

If someone met you and said, “Christina, I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots. What's my first step?”

Listening to yourself and taking action to listen to yourself. Quit listening to everyone else's opinions about what it is that you truly want to do. If you truly want to do it, I’ll buffer it for you, but I'll say, “Eff it to fear.” You know what I want to say.

What is your definition of a boss?

Someone who's the most authentic, someone who is truly themselves and they don't care what anyone else has to say about it. When you're a boss, you are authentically yourself. You show up with such love and as the best version of yourself, you can possibly be in that moment.

Any other last words of wisdom, Christina, that you want to share with our audience?

The two things that I say every single day are “Just Be.” My hashtag on Instagram, my handle is #BeChristina. The reason for that, I was #GolfChristina. My worth was tied to what I did and I was always tied to golf. I changed it to #BeChristina because every single day I want to show up and be Christina. I don't want to be Stephanie. I don't want to be Sarah. I don't want to be Molly. I want to be Christina and be the person that I am put on this planet to do because I have a purpose, a reason and so do you. I would encourage you to “Just be”. I use the hashtag #JustBe and know that you are “Worthy AF.” If you want to say if that stands for Awesome Female, go ahead, but you know what it stands for in my world. What I always say is I cuss like a sailor, but God and I are tight, so it's all good.

Christina, I know that so many of my audience are wanting to connect with you on Instagram, on your website. Give them all the handles.

All we need is BeChristina. @BeChristina, I'm on Instagram. I'm going to show up there. I love connecting with everyone on Instagram. I answer every DM. I answer every message, so check me out on Instagram. I am a little bit on Facebook, but our event is DecideItsYourTurn.com. I love you Stef. I adore you. I thank the Lord that you're in my life. You're such a blessing to me. All of the above.

Christina, you have been a game changer in my life. I think my most beautiful moment with you was in the elevator when I was bawling. I connected with your heart there and thank you for being you. Thank you for showing up as Christina and sharing that life with the world. You’re such a gift. That is my challenge to you guys, to be the person that God has called you to be. Don't look to the left, don't look to the right, keep your eyes on your own yoga mat and show up as you. That's my number one challenge. The next thing is, you guys know my challenge always and forever is to fire your fear. It builds your faith and become the boss of your own life. God has decided it's your turn and join us. We love you. We believe in you. God has amazing things in store for you.

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About Christina Lecuyer

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Christina Lecuyer is a professional athlete, three-time reality television competitor, golf hosting specialist, life coach, speaker, and founder of Women with C.L.A.S.S. Mastermind as well as “Decide It’s Your Turn: Women’s Weekend”.

A former professional golfer and host, Christina has helped raise millions of dollars for charity and used her skills as a human connection specialist to facilitate business relationships via the golf course. Her clients include Forbes list CEO’s, Wallstreet executives, and numerous global charities.

More recently, Christina has taken her skills off the golf course and brought her knowledge and passion for inspiring people to the female audience by helping women design a LIFE THEY TRULY LOVE!

The highly sought after Women with C.L.A.S.S. Mastermind Group and Decide It’s Your Turn: Women’s Weekend May 16-18, 2019 in Austin, TX are just a few ways Christina is helping women break through barriers to become more confident, find their purpose, and truly live a life they love.

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How To Make The Shift Into Your Destiny! with Shawn Lovejoy

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Sometimes, we can recognize when it's time to make a change before anyone else does, especially when we realize that what once used to energized us no longer brings us energy. That realization happened to Shawn Lovejoy, founder and CEO of CourageToLead.com. Shifting from real estate to church, and then from church to coaching and consulting, Shawn has taken multiple leaps in his journey towards finding the path he is destined to be in. Providing comfort to those on the same course, Shawn describes how the guilt that we feel when our hearts shift is used by God to help us overcome the fear to be able to shift into our destiny. Learn more as Shawn shares the many wisdom he learned along the way.

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Listen to the podcast here:

How To Make The Shift Into Your Destiny! with Shawn Lovejoy

I got back from California and attended a mastermind. My mind is blown. God is doing many incredible things in my spirit. While I was out there, one person I connected with that I am overjoyed that I was able to chat with on my time out there was my good friend and powerhouse leader, Shawn Lovejoy. We connected crazy enough on Instagram. You have no idea the other epic human beings on the other side of Instagram and LinkedIn. It is cool how God brings people together for such a time as this. I want to give you a little bit of background on this guy. He is the Founder and CEO of CourageToLead.com. They facilitate leadership growth and organizational health for leaders through executive coaching and organizational consulting for ministry and marketplace.

He's been an extremely successful real estate developer, a church planter, a megachurch pastor and he leads an extremely fast-growing coaching and consulting organization. Talk about rocking out the pivot and making it. He is the author of three different books and his last one came out in April 2019. The name of it is called Measuring Success: Your Path To Significance, Satisfaction & Leading Yourself to the Next Level. This guy has been married for 25 years. He has three amazing human beings that he has raised and he is from Birmingham, Alabama. I bring you, Shawn Lovejoy.

It's an honor to be with you. I’m cheering for you and I’m excited about our friendship and partnership.

I wanted to share your story with my audience because I often feel in life, we keep going down the same path. We don't sometimes think about why we're doing what we're doing or we want to take that leap but we don't know how to do it. We get paralysis in the leap. What you've done so effectively and you've done it successfully is you jumped from one thing to the next when that last thing wasn't serving you or you know that God is prompting you to something else. I would love for you to share your backstory, where you've come from, where you're going and how you got to where you were from to where you are now.

One of the reasons we relate to each other is we’re both spiritual entrepreneurs. We’re people of faith. There’s something driving us. There's a why behind our what and it's way bigger than making money. Money won't cure misery. There's a passion that drives what we do. I also think your identity is not attached to your role or title. It allows you to jump. Some people jump from thing to thing too rapidly. For example, I was a pastor for almost twenty years. I do have some staying power when it comes to a career path. Henry Cloud, a Christian psychologist, in his book, Necessary Endings said, “A healthy self-aware person recognizes it is time to make a change before anyone else does.” I’ve always had the knack to realize it's time to move before everyone else recognizes it is time. Everyone's an interim leader. You either leave when everyone wants you to leave or no one wants you to leave. Some of us stay too long because our identity gets wrapped up in our role or in our title. I talk about that in the book. Being secure in your own skin, who you're made to be and wired to be and recognizing you can change roles and titles and that's not who you are. It doesn't affect who you are and your identity.

That is a huge component of why people don't make the shift because they are like, “This is who I am. This is what I do.” The other piece of it is that people are scared of the unknown. They don't know what it looks like on the other side of that. What would you say for that entrepreneur that has had an extremely successful business for quite a few years, but they know in their gut there's that next season for them? There's that next piece in their career path, but they don't even know what that would look like. What would their first step be?

It's one of the reasons I believe in coaching so much. I’ve never had an original thought. Everything I know I’ve learned from someone. Think about that. That's true for everyone. I had coaches all the way through the process. When I made my transition from real estate into the ministry world, I had some good counsel around me. They helped me process all of that. Am I making a mistake? Is this God talking to me or is this something I ate? Is it heartburn? When I began to sense a transition from vocational ministry back into the marketplace, I had great coaches. I was sitting in Buckhead, Atlanta with one of my coaches. He made this statement to me that I pray haunts your audience. He said, “Shawn, change is hard because we tend to overestimate the value of what we have and we underestimate what we might gain by giving that up.”

People are going to think I’m crazy, but I made my decision right then and there to let go of another good thing I could have stayed at the rest of my life for the value of something potentially even greater. Too many leaders, too many boards, too many churches, too many organizations, too many leaders might make what I call fear-based decision. We're afraid of what we might give up. What we don't realize is we're giving up a lot by hanging on too tightly to what we have. I let go of a great thing for the potential of a greater thing. It's been greater. I thank God I didn't let fear paralyze me. I think faith and courage are not allowing our emotions to paralyze us. Do I feel fear? Do I feel afraid? Yes, I do. Do I get discouraged? Yes, but I don't allow my emotions to paralyze me. That's the essence of courage. The essence of faith is moving forward in the face of sometimes paralyzing fear if we're honest as entrepreneurs.

I want to know what was that first red flag for you or that time where you're like, “I am not feeling like I am where I need to be,” when you made the pivot from real estate over to the church and then from the church over to coaching and consulting?

Measuring Success: Your Path To Significance, Satisfaction, & Leading Yourself To The Next Level

Measuring Success: Your Path To Significance, Satisfaction, & Leading Yourself To The Next Level

God uses our emotions and our energy. Sometimes we begin to realize that what once energized us no longer brings us energy. What once energizes us begins to drain us and our emotions change. Our desires change over time. I began to sense that with me. God uses this and God shifts our desires and shapes our desires. David said in the Psalms, “God grants us the desires of our hearts sometimes.” Sometimes your heart desires shift and God uses that emotion. Sometimes we feel guilty when our heart shifts, but we're body, soul, mind, emotion and all of that. God speaks to us through all of that. I began to realize some of the things that energized me previously no longer energize me. They began to drain me. Burnout in our careers is often not because of physical exertion, it's emotional exertion because we find ourselves operating outside of our gift mix and our sweet spot. We're outside of our lane. When we operate outside of our lane for long enough, it will exhaust us.

It was a little while back when the question was at the front of the field into coaching and a mastermind. The gal at the front of the group asked, “Where are you leaking energy?” Where are those boundaries you need to put in place?” Maybe you need to make a huge shift if you're feeling exhausted all the time. You need to follow because you only have so much energy in your life. Where a lot of your energy comes from is when you're in your zone of genius, when you are where God wants you to be and you need to examine that.

In terms of our organizational consulting, we work with a lot of ministry leaders, megachurch pastors, CEOs, fast-growing organizations many times. I get concerned about those guys because they're hanging on to all these new responsibilities. They're piling up new responsibilities as the organization grows while holding onto some of the things they felt they were committed to doing from the beginning that got them to where they are. The old adage in the book is true. What got you to here won't get you to there. They’re beginning to do a lot of things they did to get started, but they're no longer providing the return on investment they once did. Frankly, they're draining but they feel this compunction about hanging onto it.

I’m working with a CEO of a $50 million a year company. They've grown from $15 million to $50 million a year. Up until 2019, he was still opening all of his mail. He would go on vacation, come back and there would be piles of mail. He felt still obligated like in the early days to keep his eye on all the money that was going in and out. He did that by personally opening the mail, a CEO of a $50 million a year organization. One of the things I helped him do was to stop looking at his mail. It was draining him. It was sucking the life out of him, but he still felt this compunction to do those he had done from the beginning. You've got to let go. You’ve got to give up to go up.

What would you recommend? How do you decipher what is serving you, what isn't serving you? I’ve always been told you need to automate. You need to delegate or eliminate. What's your rule of thumb for that?

I’m a big fan of what we call our fab five. There are probably five things that provide the greatest return on investment for your time. Personally and professionally, there's a fab five. They provide the greatest return on investment for your time. Time is a greater commodity than money because we recognize the commodity of money, but we waste inordinate amounts of time. “What are the five things I need to be doing that provide the greatest return on investment?” Coupled with that, “What do I need to stop doing?” Every leader ought to maintain. You talked about elimination, “What do I need to stop doing?” There are probably three to five things I need to stop doing to be more effective because I can't add five without taking away three to five.

The third question is, “Am I living life in rhythm? Am I able to do what I need to do professionally and live in a healthy rhythm?” I don't believe in balance. I’ve never met a balanced person. I don't think you're balanced, Stefanie. That's the bad news. I don't think it's possible. I don't think it's biblical. I don't think we're set to live that way. It’s that idea we've got to give equal energy and attention to everything at the same time. It's an unrealistic expectation we've placed on our self. I’m an advocate of living life in rhythm. It's this ebb and flow between intensity and rest. I say this in my book, Measuring Success. Success is fully where your feet are. If you're supposed to be working, have your emotional energy fully invested in your work and don't feel guilty because you're not at home.

Someone's paying us to do this job or we’re the CEO and we're responsible for seeing this company and ministry prosper. I can't waste time. I need to be working. When I’m at home, I need to be home. I need to be fully present. There was a time in my life when all that got out of sorts for me early on in my ministry career. My wife called me on the carpet for even allowing the ministry to turn me into a workaholic. I was always working. I was always on and I was always gone. I didn't know how to turn it off. I realized I’ve got to learn how to be intense, but then have a daily finish line. Have a weekly finish line. Go on vacation. Have a date night. Have a family night. Not feel guilty when I’m doing that, that I should be working. That's life in rhythm and we've got to be able to live that way in our lives and enjoy the journey.

I talk about this in my book with Momma P. She is all about enjoying the journey and she's always been intentional in life. She would love what you're talking about. That is extremely important. That also gives you the freedom that when you're working you are all into working. You don't have to feel guilty on the flip side of that on play mode. You work hard and play hard.

Some people need to work on the intensity aspect. You don't need to be talking to everyone at home when you're at work. You're working even if you work from home. I raised my children this way. If I’m working from home and the door to the study is closed, dad's working, don't bother me. My wife doesn't call me all the time when I’m working, but when I go home, one of the things my wife said to me in 2001 when she called me on the carpet for my workaholism, “You walk in the door at the end of the day and you're still on your cell phone. Myself and the kids run to the door to greet you and you're still working. All you do is shift locations.” I repented that. For the last twenty years, I made a commitment to my wife and my kids. I’ll never walk in the door at the end of the day still on my cell phone. I want to be fully present when I walk in the door. Sometimes I have to circle the neighborhood a couple of times or idle the car in the garage these days. When I’m home, I want to be present with my family.

Psychologists tell us that if both work outside the home or one works outside the home, it doesn't matter. The first seven minutes at the end of the day when those two family members come together dictates the culture, the environment and the tone for the rest of the evening. If I walk in the door urgent, frustrated, agitated, it sets a tone for our entire household that entire evening. I’ve got to be accountable for that. When I go home, I squeeze the steering wheel and say, “God, I’m going in.” I have no idea what I’m about to encounter, but I want to be fully present. I want to be fully engaged and they need me. I need to be home. I need to separate my role as CEO and coach. I need to be a man, father, husband, all of that. That allows us not to be so driven all the time. There's a danger in our driven-ness as entrepreneurs if we're honest.

Even for myself, I’m a Type A personality. I’m a get-it-done type of lady boss. I’m an alpha female. I definitely have that masculine energy. Trying to dial that back when you are hanging out with the family or you're hanging out with friends is one of my biggest takeaways of letting the store hours be the store hours and then let the off hours be the off hours. I feel you can sharpen the saw if you keep hitting on all cylinders all the time. You're not taking any time off. You're not even going to be good when you're working anymore.

Shifting Into Your Destiny: Learn how to let go of a great thing for the potential of a greater thing.

Shifting Into Your Destiny: Learn how to let go of a great thing for the potential of a greater thing.

It replenishes your emotional and creative energy. I don't think you're as good when you're on because you've always been on. You can't redline the gauges all the time. If you rest, you come back. I’m convinced you can get more done and a higher quality of work done in a shorter period of time having rested. There's a lot of scientific study around that.

I want to talk about when you felt prompted to go from ministry full-time as a megachurch pastor to the coaching and consulting. What did that look like? Were there some people that were like, “What are you doing, Shawn? Why do you think about this?” Were there people that were trying to hold you back? Were there people that were cheering you on? What did that shift look like?

Most people don't recognize they are interim leaders. We're all leaving our organization. We're going to leave when everyone wants us to leave or no one wants us to leave. We need to be ahead thinking about that. I began with the end in mind. I worked hard not to build the church around my personality. I try not to devote, to teach too much. A lot of leaders are overexposed. They have to be at every meeting. They have to make every decision. They have to be the personality on the stage all the time. They don't build a leadership team. They're what I call overexposed. I worked hard not to do that so that it didn't crush when I left. I’m proud of the fact the organization didn't implode when I left.

You start thinking about, “What am I going to do next? How was I able to make such a seemingly successful career leap?” I started doing years before part-time what I sensed I might want to do full-time in the future. I had a good feeling of, “I could do this.” I was doing it part-time for fifteen years before I jumped full-time. Some guys wait. I have guys call me and said, “I’m 70 years old. I want to retire this year. Should I be thinking about succession?” They can't let go. You need to be thinking about these years in advance, not weeks or months in advance, “What am I going to leave?”

When I started Courage To Lead, I had an executive coach that said, “Build this thing so you can sell it.” I thought, “I want to do this the rest of my life. This is my retirement plan.” He's like, “If you build it as if you're going to sell it, you won't build it completely around you.” It was brilliant advice. There are a lot of guys who've exited and become consultants, but they're a largely one-man show and the company dies with them as well. It forced me to build this thing on systems rather than a personality from the get-go. When I exit this business by death, disease, retirement or I decide to sell the company, it's more marketable. If I don't attach my identity to this and build it all around my personality, it's a healthier organization, but a more marketable business in the long run.

I’ve always been that girl diving in going all-in. That's one of the things I have. I had to take a step back and say, “I’ve got to let my leaders lead. I’ve got to let them step into their zone of genius because otherwise there's going to be no duplication.” Once I let go and let them be who they are and give them a game plan, give them a strategy, putting them in the forefront and taking a step back, that's when things scaled. That is an extremely exciting concept. The way you put it, that's why you're at where you're at, Shawn. That's why the transition has been easy. Were there some people at the church that were not happy with you or was it an easy transition?

People are either going to be angry that you're staying or angry that you're leaving, you get to choose. I’d rather than be angry that I’m leaving. That speaks to the legacy you've left behind, that people are broken when you're leaving. I said to my church, “This doesn't get easier several years from now. Several years from now, this thing's probably more built around me and my personality.” A lot of leaders stay too long. The longer you stay at the epicenter of everything, the more it tends to get built around you and your personality. I’m for shorter tenures and a little bit sooner exits. It makes for healthier organizations in the long run. There were some people who believed in me and some people who predicted my demise and didn't think I could do it. I’ve got a whole chapter in the book on dealing with your critics, your naysayers, the skeptics and how to respond to that.

I had people who predicted I couldn't do it. That word gets back to. You've probably had some of that. The world's a competitive world and your competition looks for an opportunity to say something negative about you. You know the people that are for you and some who don't believe on you. I like wearing that little bit of positive chip on my shoulder. That's bulletin board, locker room material they call it in the athletic world. That puts that positive chip on your shoulder that says, “I’ll show them.” I talk about overwhelming your critics through your consistency. The best way to overwhelm your critics is not with this. It's with your track record, your character, your commitment, your consistency and your stick-to-itiveness over time. You overwhelm your critics through your consistency. That's what I’ve tried to do with even my naysayers.

There have been many times in my career where I had someone that said to me, “Until you're making this much, don't talk to me.” It created so much grit and so much drive inside my soul. I’m like, “I will not stop working until I get that to call that guy up and say, ‘Let's sit down. Let’s chat details.’” He was blown away that I got to that point as quickly as I did because that was a driver for me. I feel some of my biggest drivers and ways of how I’ve helped other lady bosses and bosses I’ve coached through the years, they have made that why that drive inside their soul that is deep. It's like, “I’m going to show them who's boss. I’m not going to give up. I’m going to give it everything I got and go to the last second. It's not over until I win.”

Why would you say specifically? I know your heart is for a lot of these. You have a lot of male readers. I’m a male fan of your leadership, but you have a lot of lady readers because they're cheering for you and you’ve become a trophy of what they can become but they're scared to death. Especially in this formerly male-dominated world, there are a lot of ladies who struggle believing in themselves. I talk about that in the book too. We all struggle with that. Ultimately, believing in yourself if you're a person of faith does not believe in yourself as much as it believes in who God says you are, how he created you, wired you and gifted you. Our thumbprints and DNA whispers to our uniqueness. There's not another person on the planet like us.

Shifting Into Your Destiny: We're not responsible for where we're not, what we can't do, and the gifts we don't have. However, we are 100% responsible for the gifts we do have and the resources and gifts we've been entrusted with.

Shifting Into Your Destiny: We're not responsible for where we're not, what we can't do, and the gifts we don't have. However, we are 100% responsible for the gifts we do have and the resources and gifts we've been entrusted with.

 God says, “If you could get done without me, he would have done it without me.” He decided to invite me into the arena called life and purpose. I’ve got to live that out. I don't need to be Stefanie Peters. I don't need to be anyone else. I need to be the best version of me. That's my God-given responsibility. I’ve got to go for it. I’ve got to maximize it because I have one life. I have one set of gifts. I have one purpose for this life only. I’m never going to get it back again. I’ve got to go. I’m compelled to go. Even though I doubt myself sometimes, even though I get discouraged, even though I would tend to believe and take to credit what people say about me, I can't listen to those voices. I’ve got to believe what God says about me and I’ve got to go.

That's our superpower, being who we are. God has gifted us with such unique gifts and talents. This is not a dress rehearsal. We’ve got to get after the destiny that God has created for us because I feel that unlocks the potential in many other people saying, “If Shawn did it, if Stefanie did it, why can't I do it? Why not me? Why not now?” If you're on the other side of this show and you're questioning if you have what it takes, let me say this is your sign. What Shawn said, there is no reason. You can make up all the different things in your head, all these excuses of why you don't have the skills. Why you aren’t well-connected. All these things, but one touch of the master's hand and all bets are off.

I would add to that. What aggravates me most as a coach is the victim mentality that I run across all the time, “You don't know. It's more difficult here. I’m from Minnesota. I’m from Birmingham, Alabama. I don't have a college education. I’m from here. You don't know our people. You don't know how difficult or you don't know my family background.” All of those are lame excuses. Maybe up to a point in time those were valid excuses. We're grownups now. It's time for us to choose who we want to be. We're not responsible for where we're not. We're not responsible for what we can't do and the gifts we don't have. We are 100% responsible for the gifts we do have and the resources and gifts we've been entrusted with. That's why it's game on. We're responsible for using this, the resources we have, to maximize them for our purpose.

What has been your darkest or rock bottom moment? What did you learn from it? How do you rebound?

The rock bottom moment in my career was that moment where my wife told me she didn't like me much in 2001. God used her to rescue me from my workaholism and we took back our lives, took back life and rhythm. What I’m most proud of now is that my wife likes me and she respects me. My kids love hanging out with me. They never felt like I was married to the church or married to my career. They were always first. There's no personal gratification or fulfillment that comes from that, having turned that around. It's those multiple moments along the way where things didn't happen as fast, as big as what you wanted them to. You get discouraged and you feel you should have made more progress than you've made. As an entrepreneur, those emotions will. Most leaders quit right before the harvest. Tricia, my wife, told me one time, “One of the most attractive things about you is you're too dumb to quit.”

I refused to quit because it's hard. I’ve had a bad day, I don't feel successful or the numbers don't add up, I’m not going to quit because of that. I’m only going to quit because I feel I’m not running in my lane or I’m not in the middle of my gift makes or whatever. There had been multiple moments of doubt. There still are, if we're honest. We still have moments of doubt when we question ourselves, “Can’t we do this? Am I up to the task? Can I get to the next level?” It's one of the reasons why I believe in coaching so much that we provide because it provides permission. You got this. You can do this. I went into many conversations with my coaches where I doubted myself. My tail was between my legs. They talked me off the ledge and helped me to get back my spiritual swagger. To get back in there, run again and go after it. We all need some people that believe in it. You shouldn't listen to most people. You should listen to people who love the vision and love you. You surround yourself with those people and you tackle hell with a water gun.

This has been amazing, Shawn, and I cannot wait to dive in your book. I can't wait to chat with you about all the things, what you do and promote who you are and your coaching and consulting business. I believe some of the biggest breakthroughs in your life come through coaching, come through masterminds, getting in a room with like-minded people that are where you want to be. They will help you with that path. Otherwise, you're totally shooting in the dark. You're like, “I hope this works, but I don't want to gamble my future of my career and my destiny on happenstance.” I want to have a strategic plan and also that mindset to help to back me up, to propel me forward. I’ve always had a coach. I am a coach. You are a coach. Every coach needs a coach. Every leader needs a leader. Every mentor needs a mentor. It's such a beautiful gift that you can give the world. I can't wait to read your book. I can't wait to learn more about your coaching, consulting and advocate for you because you're making such an impact in the marketplace. I appreciate you and your time, Shawn.

I’m cheering for you and it's been an honor to be with you.

Home stretch questions here. If someone met you and said, “I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots. What's my first step?”

Get counsel. The Book of Proverbs says, “Success is found in many counselors.” I don't think we're perfect assessors of our own giftedness and our own talent. Let's be honest. Sometimes we think God's speaking to us and it's something we ate. It’s surrounding ourselves with some wise people who are further along from us, who know us, a mentor, a coach, spiritual big brother, big sister, father and mother. Say, “Here's what I’m thinking. I know you could see me from a different perspective. Here's what I’m thinking. What do you think?”

What is your definition of a boss?

Someone who's in command of their own lives, someone who's not subservient to what someone else thinks they ought to be or do and is willing to do things their way. I use the analogy of King David and King Saul. He was a shepherd before he was a king. Saul tried to get David to wear his armor and fight the battle as he had always fought it. David refused to wear someone else's armor. He was willing to do it his way. David was a boss and because he was a boss as a teenager and willing to fight battles his way, he knew how to fight them with a stinking slingshot. That made him a great king because he was not subservient to fighting the battles the way everyone else had done. You fight the battles your way.

Do you have any last words of wisdom?

Finish with your family. I retired from my career at 45. It’s what most people do when they're 75. The way it works in any career field, but especially in the church, you have to decrease so the next leader can increase. You have to disappear from the scene a lot of times for the next leader in flourishing. At the end of the day, if you finish with a team, you finish with your family. My big goal for leaders is ultimately for us to finish the race with successful relationships with those closest to us. It's going to be our family and a few tightknit close friends. I fantasize about my funeral and it helps me begin with the end in mind of the legacy I want to leave in the end. If I squash everybody on the way to the top, is that success? If I burn the midnight oil and I neglect all the people that are close to me on my way to the top, is that success? Is it being loved and respected by those closest to you? That's what I want for every leader.

There are going to be many of my readers that are going to want to connect with you. Tell them all your handles of how they can reach out. Shawn, share with them where they can go.

CourageToLead.com, all of our free coaching resources and materials are there. There are lots of free content. We'd love to talk with them about one-on-one coaching for their own leadership and/or their teams and their ministry or the marketplace. We'd love to talk to them. The information's all there. I’m @ShawnLovejoy on Twitter, @ShawnLovejoy1 on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Shawn, thank you so much for your time and energy in investing in these powerhouse bosses, leaders, and entrepreneurs. Take that one thing from this podcast that you learned and ask yourself, “How can I apply this to my life now?” I believe in you and here is to firing your fear, building your faith and becoming the boss of your own life. You've got what it takes. Let's get after it.

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About Shawn Lovejoy

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Shawn Lovejoy is Founder & CEO of CourageToLead.com. They facilitate Leadership Growth and Organizational Health for Leaders through Executive Coaching and Organizational Consulting for Ministry and Marketplace Leaders. Shawn has been a successful real estate developer, a church planter, megachurch pastor, and now leads a fast-growing coaching and consulting organization. Shawn is the author of three books. His latest book Measuring Success: Your Path To Significance, Satisfaction, & Leading Yourself To The Next Level releases nationally in April 2019! Shawn has been married for 25 years to his best friend Tricia and they have three children: Hannah, Madison, & Paul. They all live in Birmingham, AL.

 

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How to Master High Level Connections with Brett Knutson

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One of the biggest pain points of every startup is scaling their business. Brett Knutson, owner of Capital Academy, made network marketing easier by creating a digital version that would help businesses raise money and grow from anywhere on their own time. With the goal to create influence among very powerful, high net worth people and to become one of those people himself, Brett created an intense concept of mastermind. Mind Trap will be an avenue for entrepreneurs to learn from billionaires how to scale an online business to eight figures. He reveals details about the mastermind event and the book he is currently writing.

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Listen to the podcast here:

How to Master High Level Connections with Brett Knutson

I am so honored. I have been wanting this guy to come on my podcast for the longest time and I finally nailed a time. Let me give you a little bit of background on this guy. Brett Knutson is a serial entrepreneur and speaker who has started several seven and eight-figure companies. Brett's companies have raised millions and have led into working relationships with crazy cool entrepreneurs on another level and huge respected investors like Rohan Oza, the Founder of EA games and many celebrities, professional athletes and influencers. Brett regularly speaks alongside business icons like Steve Wozniak, Gary Vaynerchuk and others as well as giving back his time to high schools and universities all around the country. Brett, thank you so much for jumping on. I'm so extremely honored. I'm excited to dive in.

Thank you so much for having me on. I'm excited too. It's been crazy watching everything that you've done and accomplished over the past several years and it's been quite the journey for both of us. This should be really fun.

You have no idea who is on the other side of the screen on social. We were talking about the power of DM. How I connected with Brett, he reached out to me on Facebook randomly and he said, “We have a mutual friend. I'd love to connect and chat details. I hear that you're a fellow entrepreneur just like me.” I am so game to that. I didn't realize what a mogul this guy was and is becoming. Brett, let's talk about your story. I want to hear about your background. What I think is so cool about you is you didn't come from a family of entrepreneurs that are hitting on all cylinders. Let's take it back. We went to the same high school. We didn't think there were any other entrepreneurs that were there. Fill us in.

Network Marketing: More people need to share what their expertise is.

Network Marketing: More people need to share what their expertise is.

We went to the same high school but we were a grade or two apart and never met in high school. I think it's hilarious. We ended up meeting through a mutual friend. I reached out to you because we're both from Minnesota where entrepreneurship was dead for a while. It's like in an apocalyptic movie like, “There's one human left, another entrepreneur here in Minnesota. I need to reach out.” I definitely did not come from an entrepreneur family. This sounds made up but it's completely true. I didn't know what an entrepreneur was when I was an adult. My dad was a cop and my mom was a teacher, which sounds so cliché but that’s typical Midwestern family. My dad knew that there was something different about me. I was always very stubborn. I didn't go against the grain on purpose. What everything else that made sense to other people didn't make sense to me.

I was always pushed to get good grades so that I could get into a good college so that I could get good grades again so I could get a job. Here's the thing, our parents' generation, that was what was best for them. Statistics prove that. Back in our parents’ generation, the price of college was very low and the value delivered from a college degree was very high. All the numbers proved it. Now has been a huge shift in value versus price. Now the value delivered is arguably low and the price is extremely high. Over 50% of people graduate from college and moved back in with their parents and they can't find work in their field. I was talking to somebody about this. Forbes said that 50% of working people by next year will be entrepreneurs or freelancers. I found entrepreneurship through network marketing originally. I turned eighteen and it was just a concept of it.

Even though there are different ways you can own a business. There’s owning a brick and mortar thing versus owning an online thing. The concept of personal development and growing yourself and doing something for yourself and earning a paycheck instead of collecting a paycheck was completely foreign to me but so exciting. I dropped out of college after a semester and it was very counter-intuitive, very against what my parents wanted me to do. It wasn't me trying to go against the grain or trying to be a black sheep in the family or anything but it just worked out that way. I didn't know what I wanted but I did know what I didn't want. I knew so strongly what I didn't want but it drove me to experience and try anything out. Entrepreneurship and starting my own businesses is where I landed and it's been an amazing ride. I met a lot of incredible people like yourself and it's been fun.

We need to hear the details from when you dove into network marketing and then how did you get to where you are now? What did that journey look like?

I started in network marketing and I did well for my age when I was eighteen. I was the young up and comer. I ended up getting into a direct sales company at the same time. I don't recommend this by the way, like splitting your focus but I was like, “I want to do both and whichever one makes the most sense in six months, I'll just turn all my focus towards that.” The direct sales company ended up making more sense because I got promoted into a management track. They’re still very entrepreneurial as all 1099 based. I ended up doing that for a while. I ended up running a seven-figure division of that company when I was nineteen or twenty. Then after that, I started a direct sales company with a mentor of mine. That company failed incredibly mostly because of lack of experience in the industry on his behalf and on mine. My first big true entrepreneurship experience in my mind was a very big failure. I think that most people want to try to be an entrepreneur.

It's certainly not for everybody but a lot of people try it and then they have that first failure and that's all they got in them. Like, “I am not a fan of the money loss. I'm not a fan of the humiliation.” Nobody likes to fail publicly on a big scale. Especially when it was something that they're evangelizing. That's the worst. It's like when you're telling everybody this is the next big thing and it's going to be whatever. Then completely crashing and everybody knows and there's all the, “I told you so,” and everything. Getting back up from that took me a while. I ended up getting a normal job again, which I couldn't stand. It was the sales and I'm good at sales but it was pretty miserable for me.

Network Marketing: People look for any reason to not believe in themselves, their own skills, and their own strength. They do that by deflecting their insecurities on other people through excuses.

Network Marketing: People look for any reason to not believe in themselves, their own skills, and their own strength. They do that by deflecting their insecurities on other people through excuses.

What got me back into entrepreneurship wasn't me trying to be an entrepreneur, it was me trying to solve a problem for my mom. My mom is chronically disabled and as a result of that, she just sits at home all day by herself. Because she lost her license, she can't drive anymore. My parents got divorced when I was fourteen. It's literally her by herself. I felt awful for her and she would call me all the time and live vicariously through me. I wanted to figure out a way that I could find people nearby that liked the same things as she did so they could come to pick her up and do something fun.

Back in 2013, there was nothing. I very naively decided I'll create the solution for her, which is literally waking up one day and like, “I should climb Mount Everest.” I didn't know that at the time. I just took one step after another and I ended moving up to Silicon Valley. I raised several million dollars from the cofounder of EA games. We brought it to the point where we launched it. We had over 100,000 downloads in one day and we were trending worldwide on the app store. We ended up raising a bunch more money and ended up seeing some B2B opportunities with that and taking that route. Now we're about to go back into the consumer space. It’s a long story and that brings me to a few months ago. I started Digital Accelerator.

If you’re familiar with Y Combinator, it is for startups and it's a program that helps startups in their infancy get their first little bit of money and get off the ground. Out of Y Combinator in Silicon Valley has come Dropbox, Airbnb, Reddit and some of the biggest companies in the world. The combined value of the companies that have come out of Y Com over its fifteen-year history is over $100 billion and Y Com has 7% of all of that. They're worth about $7 billion in fifteen years and they've taken in about 1,600 startups over that time. I decided to create the Digital Accelerator that does the same thing that Y Com does. For Y Com, you have to move there for 90 days and uproot your whole life and go live in their little incubator thing. I did a digital version where people can do it from anywhere, whether they have a family or whatever and they can do it on their own time. We can take in 1,600, 1,700, whatever startups every year. We have a tremendous ability to scale and give people access to these kinds of resources. We basically helped startups raise money and grow.

It’s fascinating, it’s not like, “I started this business ten-plus years ago.” The first real venture that you've jumped out in faith and started was in 2013. That was not too long ago. Then you take it to a whole other level with raising funding on an online platform. That's within the last handful of months. Then right before we started the podcast, you were talking about this epic idea that you're putting into action as far as the most amazing mastermind concept I've ever conceived.

I know you get invited to speak at stuff all the time. I do too. I got to the point where it's fun seeing my friends because all my friends are speakers. It's fun adding value to people but I wanted to create a mastermind that I would not be invited to speak at. I wanted to create a mastermind that I won't even be close to qualified to speak at. I also wanted it to be super exclusive. Not for exclusivity sake alone, but you know how they talk about classroom sizes in school and they complain if the class size is too big, then are you getting the attention you need? I wanted to cap it. Having a mastermind group that meets virtually twice a month and in person twice a year and cap it at 100 people and have the best business leaders in the world speak at this mastermind.

I pulled favors from all of my most high-profile friends and they all said that they would speak for free on the virtual side and then I would just pay for their travel. Unfortunately, they're traveling with private planes so it’s a little bit more expensive. I pay for their travel for the in-person stuff. We have people like Rohan Oza who's a shark on Shark Tank. He did Vitamin Water and Smartwater. The Founder of Shipt, which is the grocery delivery that's sold to Target for $550 million. People who are literally the best in the world at marketing and have built multi-hundred million or billion-dollar companies are speaking at this.

Network Marketing: Marketing is based on emotion, not logic.

Network Marketing: Marketing is based on emotion, not logic.

It started off as the brainchild of trying to help the people in Capital Academy, which is the accelerator. The people that raised money were like, “This is great. I have $2 million now but how do I spend it? How do I market and how do I scale?” This is to help businesses that already have revenue marketing scale. This isn't super 101 stuff. This is intense. How do you get influence or marketing to build a brand on a level that is insane? How do you get your products into Walmart? How do you scale an online business from a few hundred thousand to eight figures? It's an intense concept mastermind group.

When you started the first business of the capital funding company, then you solidify that and now you’re like how can we add that much more value to what we have already going? You birth another whole business that works synergistically with that first business. That is such a creative way of going about it. What I think is so great about that is this is a key tipping point. There are a lot of people and there is so much information out on the internet. It can paralyze people. What is neat about the mastermind that you created is you say, “If you're not implementing what we're teaching, you're out.”

Whoever decides to implement and go gangbuster then they're going to be able to afford the next level being part of the mastermind long-term. That is absolutely genius that you say, “If you're going to keep upleveling, you’re going to keep increasing the price point on the mastermind,” which I think is so important because then you know that the ballers are going all the way to the top with you and then the people that aren't implementing it, good luck. Another mastermind is going to be good for you but that's going to create the best mastermind on the planet.

The reason why I call that mind trap is I feel like the word mastermind has been underrepresented. There are a lot of “masterminds” that aren't very good and there's a lot of what I would call seat warmers. They are people who want to learn a bunch of stuff but they don't want to apply any of that knowledge. We are implementing a survival of the fittest methodology into this, which is essentially we're going to be increasing the prices every six to twelve months. If you can't afford it, it's your fault. I know it sounds harsh but if you’re learning from billionaires how to grow your business and you can't apply that over the course of an entire year to be able to afford the next year. The goal is eventually when we cap out forever because we're not going to increase the prices for the rest of time, but eventually, we’ll cap out that capacity and that price. At that level, just imagine the caliber of people and the person that you would be if you make it there but then the caliber of the people that are in the group with you. That's what I'm excited about. If you have so much lateral and incredible peers and stuff, that's what I'm excited about too.

Brett, shout out to you for always not being okay with the status quo, always pushing your limits, always growing. You are the epitome of iron sharpening iron. I am so grateful to have you in my circle. It's great to have someone like Brett Knutson in your circle because you're going places. You never settle for good when you can go to greatest. Thank you so much for showing people what's possible. You aren't even 30 years old. That's amazing. Thank you, Brett, for showing what's possible.

Thank you for creating avenues and channels for people to come in and share everything that they've learned and made it a mission of yours to be able to add value to as many people as possible. More people need to share what their expertise is. The biggest problem is everybody has a chip on their shoulder. They feel like there's nothing that they're good enough at and there's something special about you. That's why it's okay for you to have the influence you have. There's something special about me and there's something special about these other people. If people saw the way that I was when I was in middle school. I had one friend and my dad used to coach me like, “Brett, look at people in the eye when you talk to them. Shake their hands and say hi.” I was so introverted and constantly bullied and everybody always says, “You just have the gift of charisma.” Are you kidding me? Do you know how many times I've spoken on stage and stuttered over my words and not knowing what to say and felt like my heart’s fluttering?

Network Marketing: If you want a 0.001% impact life, you need to do 0.001% things.

Network Marketing: If you want a 0.001% impact life, you need to do 0.001% things.

I've worked to become charismatic. I remember in ninth grade, someone that you probably know went to our high school. He was the captain of the basketball team and it was during class and I was like, “This is my chance. I'm going to be cool.” I was so nerdy. I wanted to be cool. I'm going to say what's up. It's just him and I. I was like, “This is my shot.” I was like, “How are you?” He was like, “Good, how are you?” I was like, “Good, how are you?” I asked him twice and I could see his face. He was like, “Okay.” That is the epitome of my entire childhood. I had my one friend I played Yu-Gi-Oh! with, which is the dumb little trading card game. The fact that people use excuses like, “You're just smart,” or I love when people say, “You must have an MBA.” Are you kidding me?

People look for any reason to not believe in themselves and their own skills and their own strength. They do that by deflecting their insecurities on other people through excuses. It's like, “It's because you're so charismatic and you're such a great communicator and you're all this,” and not giving you any credit for what you've developed intentionally over decades. My biggest thing is I speak at a lot of high schools and stuff because I'm trying to encourage people to realize where I came from. Anybody with reasonable intellect, obviously there are some people who are impaired to a degree where it's extra challenging, but anybody can achieve what they want to achieve. There's nothing special about the people that are where they'd like to be other than the fact that those people were willing to deal with more discomfort and the pain of growth and continued to persevere. That's all that it is. I'm sure you can attest to that too.

You and I and different social media influencers or people that have “made it,” there's no difference. It's that they've decided they have more grit. They get up after they had that hard knocks. You have no idea when you start to peel back the layers on what Brett had to go through in order to get to where he is, it's so true. That gives so many people hope. Keep pushing your limits. You keep adding value to other people's lives. You keep sharpening your saw. You keep going to different events. If you're not great at speaking, then go take a course. Go hire a coach. What can you do to uplevel? The sky's the limit on truly what the gifts that God has given you. When you say, “I'm not turning back, I'm going all into my God-given potential,” all bets are off.

I'm coming out with a book. One of the things I say in the book is the biggest gap in the world is the difference between what people know and what they apply. I'll tell people something or I'll tell them to read a book on something and they'll say, “I already know that.” Clearly, you're not applying it. The same with me too, I know tremendously more than I apply but in addition to that, it's a difference between knowing and applying, is there's straight up the way that God works. There's a testing ground. I don't know why.

I literally want to ask Him like, “Please explain to me why life has to be extremely hard first?” I get some of it. There's the appreciation. There's whatever. I don't know what it is but definitely, He's got this little system in place and you cannot break that system. What nobody talks about was even after I had the communication skills, the sales skills, even after I had built a seven-figure business and stuff. When I moved out to raise money in Silicon Valley, I spent through all my savings. I slept on an eroded dirt floor because of earthquakes and stuff, in a 1,200 square foot illegally modified house with 23 other people for over a year. I had to walk to my part-time retail entry level job because it was flexible and afforded me the ability to pay rent and take meetings with investors.

I had to walk several miles because my car got impounded when it broke down and I couldn't afford to get it out. I had to walk several miles to work every single day in 100 degrees or rain in dress clothes. I got holes in the bottom of my shoes and every time it would rain, it would make my socks dirty and wet and ruined my sock. I lost 80 pounds that I couldn't afford to lose at the time from malnutrition because I had a budget for food of less than about $1 a day. I'd have half of the Little Caesars cheese pizza one day, nothing the next day, the other half the third day and nothing in the fourth day. That's the type of stuff people don't talk about enough. Most people think that if someone is lucky or if you have the right skills in place then it's instant and it's easy. “If I did it and it wasn't instant and it wasn't easy, then there's something wrong with me.”

Network Marketing: The biggest gap in the world is the difference between what people know and what they apply.

Network Marketing: The biggest gap in the world is the difference between what people know and what they apply.

That's not the case at all. It's a way some people call the universe. I'm a Christian. I know you are too. It's God's way of testing. If you want a 0.001% impact life, you need to do 0.001% things. You can't expect to have a different life than everybody else doing the same things everybody else is doing. If you're an entrepreneur and you're reading this and you're going through ridiculous amounts of struggle, just know one of my favorite comics. Have you ever seen the comic where it's the guy underground with a pickaxe and he's digging towards the wall of diamonds and he gives up one pick away from the wall of diamond? Then the other guy’s right behind him and he's determined to get to it. That's what most people do. They give up right before the breakthrough moment. I don't know the reason why but it's the way that God designed the world.

With your business, what was that tipping point for you? Was it just hard work after hard work? Was there that point that that was the breaking point after you had work extremely hard?

Typically, what I've found is a lot of people give up. There are two different ways that you can look at something. You could look at strategies. I define strategies as timeless. A strategy in marketing would be marketing is based on emotion, not logic. That's a strategy that has been true for hundreds of years and it will be true for hundreds of years. A tactic is ever-changing. It's like Facebook Ads as a tactic for marketing. A lot of people will get the strategy right and they'll get the tactic wrong because there are tons of different tactics, then they discount the strategy forever. For me, I did a bunch of things the wrong way for so long and assumed that it was the strategy that was wrong when it was the tactics that were wrong or it was the way that I was doing the right thing.

I was doing the right thing the wrong way. When it came to raising capital, this is an example. I didn't have a lot of stuff in place like a pitch deck and a minimum viable product, but it didn't take me very long to realize that I needed to have those things in place. What took me the longest period of time though was realizing that if everybody else is doing it, you're going to get the same results as everybody else. Cold emailing investors doesn't work. They get thousands of them. They're inundated and they literally ignore them. Most prestigious ones have either autoresponders or polite gatekeepers that basically reply a nice version of no. Cold emails don't work.

You need to develop a relationship. Money exchanges hands over relationships and trust. How do you build a relationship and trust with somebody who has money to invest in your business? By not asking them for money. Everything is all counter-intuitive because if it's intuitive, it's what everyone else is doing. I need to reach out to 1,000 investors and ask them for money and I'll get ten back who say yes. It's not the way that it works. You need to develop a relationship with an investor and have them come alongside you as an advisor. Help your business as coming alongside you instead of coming against you and trying to pick apart your business because you're asking them to invest and they're trying to figure out everything that's wrong. I have them come along as an advisor.

Have them get to know you. Have them watch you and execute on what they tell you to do. Have them tell you what to do with your business and help groom the company to the point where they're ready to invest. Typically, people are doing the right strategies and the wrong tactics. If it's intuitive, which I use it as a way of saying it's what everyone else is doing, then you're going to get the results everybody else gets, which are always subpar. That's what I found. All of the best results I've ever had in my life were figuring out how to creatively approach situations and scenarios that other people just don't put any extra thought into. That was a turning point for me.

Network Marketing: You're seven connections away from anybody in the world.

Network Marketing: You're seven connections away from anybody in the world.

Let's say there is someone who is wanting to scale their business. They don't have the capital. They have an idea that they do feel could scale. How would they get in touch with those type of people, because they can't pay them or maybe they would get a loan to get that relationship started? What would you recommend at that point?

How people say it's all about who you know is an excuse. You know the right people, tell about who you know as though you didn't develop those relationships. I grew up in a township, too small to be considered an actual city. Six hundred people, Greenvale Township. I didn't have any connections. What I did was I reverse engineered. Remember how we were talking about the power of the DM in social media? Think of how powerful this is. Most people have heard of seven degrees of separation or six degrees or whatever. It's basically saying you are six or seven connections away from anybody in the world, from the president of the United States down to a random entry-level worker in a foreign country.

You're seven connections away from anybody in the world. That's the math. Social media has given us the ability to see where the connections are. You can go to Justin Bieber's profile on Instagram, see who he's following that's following him back. Go to their Instagram, see who they're following that’s following them back. Reverse engineer the network and then work your way back up the ladder. That’s literally what I did. When we were building an influencer network for Hive, I worked my way down the ladder from the biggest people on social media. I got them involved, people with less than 500,000 followers. Then I leveraged their name to get people with one million followers and then those people to get people with two million and then five million and then ten million and then twenty million. I literally got to the point where I had five of Justin's closest friends in my network.

I invited them all at the same party and he came. That's the type of stuff that people don't think about. The same thing with LinkedIn. In my mind, for our generation, Instagram is what LinkedIn could and should have been. I connect with everybody who tries to connect with me on LinkedIn. I accept everybody's request but I don't follow anybody that I don't know personally. If someone wants to know who I know, Instagram. I don't follow anybody that I don't know personally. If I liked somebody’s content, it's too bad, I'm going to have to meet them in order to follow them. The reason why is because then I can go into other people's pages and I can instantly see who our mutual friends are.

If I followed random people that I like their posts, I wouldn't be able to connect with people on that level. If I see somebody that I know is a big deal, this happened at Funnel Hacker Live with Dan Lok. It’s a huge personal brand and a very successful man who lives in Vancouver. I saw him and I was like, “I want to go talk to him.” I went to his Instagram. I found out who he was following that I was friends with. I went up and talked to him and I started off with like, “We have a lot of mutual friends. I was just talking to X, Y and Z about you.” I instantly boost my credibility and we have an actual conversation instead of me approaching them as a fan, I'm approaching them as a peer. The power of social media, when it's reversed engineered is absolutely incredible. Nobody's using it that way. Everybody just uses that for looking at cool pictures of other people's food. It’s the most powerful technology in the face of the planet and people are posting cat videos. Make money with it, use it, leverage it. Don't have it use you.

That is on another level. I thought I knew how to use my DM. That is mind-blowing. That is genius. I think so often here's the power of the network and even the inner circle. We wouldn't have this conversation. I would have kept doing it the same way that I've always been doing it. When you group with people around you that are upleveling their A-game all the time, it forces you to do the same. I think that is the power of the network, the power of DM, the power of surrounding yourself with people that are chasing after their God-given and God-sized dreams, that's where it's at. In your time of being an entrepreneur, what would you say has been the toughest lesson you have had to learn and what do you take from it?

Network Marketing: Social media has given us the ability to see where the connections are.

Network Marketing: Social media has given us the ability to see where the connections are.

The toughest lesson I've had to learn is there is no such thing as reward without risk. I've taken that to a level that I think most people would never and maybe should never. I'm talking I've gone into over $100,000 in personal credit card debt because of the belief I had in what I was doing and it always works. I don't think people understand the magnitude of that. Everybody wants to have a comfortable life without anything uncomfortable. If you only make comfortable decisions, you end up with a very uncomfortable life. Everybody wants to have an easy life but if you always make the easy choices, you end up with a very hard life. You have to on the front end, make very uncomfortable and very hard and very risky decisions.

Think of it this way. You're never going to have less responsibility than you have now. You will only ever have more responsibility. If you don't have a spouse, you'll have a spouse. If you have a spouse and you don't have kids, you’ll have kids. You'll never have less responsibility than you have now. There will never be a better time. You have to take risks now. The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second-best time is now. For me, it was realizing I need to take risks. No one else is going to take a risk on me. I have to take risks and believe in myself. I did that to a magnitude that I seldom see. Thankfully some people don't need to do it on the level that I did. I've over $100,000 personal credit card debt. I had a credit score at one time of 417. I would do anything and everything. I would sleep in my car. I live in my car. It didn't matter. I was determined that I was going to figure it out. I was going to find a way. If I couldn't walk or I couldn't stand, I would crawl but at least I was moving forward. That's the biggest thing that I've learned that has tremendously impacted my entire life.

Even with the answer that you gave me, the passion, the drive and the determination, where do you feel that came from? Your mom and dad are amazing human beings but they don't have the drive that you have. They don't have the vision that you have. Where did that come from? Is that nature? Is that nurture and what do you see for yourself in the next couple of years?

It's definitely having a why that is way bigger than yourself and way bigger than money. I see so many entrepreneurs who are hustling and all they care about is Lamborghinis. They're not going to get very far and anywhere they do get, it's not going to last very long. You have to have a why that is tremendously bigger than any problem that you'll ever come up against. Otherwise, you will give up when the challenges and the hurdles get too big. For me, my why has grown over the years. It started with my mom. Then it became my family and it compounds. It was my mom, then it was my mom and my family. Now it's my mom, my family and the entire education system. My life legacy and my goal is everything that I'm doing right now is to create influence among very powerful high net worth people. To become one of those people myself so that I have the capacity and the resources to make a significant dent in our very broken education system.

Having kids, we had to pull them out of the school system because it's so bad. For me, I don't want to just take my kids out of the problem and leave it a problem for my kids' kids to have. I want to solve that problem. I know I can't do it by myself no matter how much money I make and no matter how much influence I have. I know that if I have enough people in my circle that have influence and resources and I have influence and resources, together we can make a significant impact on a very broken system. That is the why that now compels me in addition to my mom, in addition to my wife and kids, to go through the most incredible barriers over and over again because it's way more important to me than how much money I make.

I feel your heart for changing the trajectory of so many people’s lives. Thank you for saying, “It stops here and I know I can't do it by myself but I can be the instigator. I can be the catalyst. I can be the one that changes the game,” and you have created the infrastructure that I believe that you will do it. Thank you for being that human being that’s, “Why not me? Why not now?” This is the time to change the whole way that we outlook on education.

Network Marketing: When you are offered value in return from a high-quality person, recycle the value on to somebody else in your network so that you can add value to more people faster.

Network Marketing: When you are offered value in return from a high-quality person, recycle the value on to somebody else in your network so that you can add value to more people faster.

Thank you and for the audience too, it's important to know that. I'm sure you can attest to this too, the goals that you have now. You probably didn't have most of those goals a few years ago. Your goals evolve with time. For anybody who's like, “I'm not trying to do something that big,” take a step at a time. My first goal was just to help my mom. It was to help her financially because she had gone through bankruptcy and foreclosure and it was to help her make friends. That was my first goal. Then my goal was I want to provide a life for my wife and kids that's way better than I had growing up. I had an average good middle-class life. I was loved as a kid so that's most important. I wanted to provide a better life for my wife and kids that I could have ever even imagined having that I ever had. It increases with time. Your goals change and they evolve. Don't feel like your why needs to be some cataclysmic shift in the planet or anything crazy. Start with someone close to you or something close to you that's bigger than you and bigger than money.

I know even at the beginning of my life, it wasn't huge. I think it is important that sometimes people will even ask, “What's my calling? What’s my purpose? How do I get started? I am so unclear. I don't even know what end is up.” Take the first best step then things get more and more clear as you go along.

If that first best step leads you down the path of failure, that is part of your journey. Remember what I said. My first business was a very big and very expensive failure. It was a very big and very ugly failure where I had friends and family that invested thousands of dollars into the failure. It doesn't get more humiliating than that. It doesn't matter what you're going through. Understand that it's all part of your journey. It is up to you to keep going. It's not up to you to always succeed. It is up to you to keep going and you will continue to elevate and evolve your goals and your why and everything as you go down that path.

Last three questions. I could stay on this because I'm eating this up on another level. I'm not even coming up with other questions because I'm so in the now and taking all of this in. I want to know what is your definition of a boss?

Somebody who is happy and is in their calling of what they know that they are here to do in the peak of their ability. Someone who is chasing after their ideal self and the accomplishments, the impact, the significance and the contribution that their ideal self could have and is happy in that process and in that journey. Someone who is not chasing happiness. They're grateful every step of the way. They are driven to impact and to contribute as much as they can in their element or in the lane that they'd been gifted.

Let's say someone meets you on the street and they say, “I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots. What's my first step?”

Your first step is truly to take your first step because if you focus on the fact that you're climbing a mountain, they will be so overwhelming that you won't even be able to see your own feet. Don't look at the top of the mountain, just focus on taking the first best step and then the next best step. Understand that by the time you realized how big the mountain is, you're already halfway up, so you might as well go the rest of the way up.

You have already shared so much extreme wisdom. I will give you this last chance to share anything else with the audience that you want to share with them. Any last words of wisdom for the Boss Life audience?

It would be to never underestimate how powerful relationships are and to always add value first to a relationship over and over. Don't expect anything in return. When you are offered value in return from a high-quality person, recycle the value on to somebody else in your network so that you can add value to more people faster. By doing that, you'll become a very high-value person among high-value people. It is all about who you know and that's the best way to know more people.

Brett, thank you so much for investing in my audience and giving back the way that you do. It means so much to me. My friendship and my relationship with you means the world to me. Thank you for being who you are and never saying, “This won't happen.” Thank you for always stepping up and never stepping back. I want you to share how people can follow you. You guys have got to follow him on Instagram and all these platforms. Where can they find you, Brett?

I love to talk to all of you. My Instagram handle is @Knutson. Then the website for Capital Academy is CapitalAcademy.com and my email is Brett@CapitalAcademy.com.

For those of you that have this great idea or this strong idea that you're like, “How do I scale it? How do I bring in the income in order to do it?” I'm mumbling still on everything that he has shared. That is times ten in that course. Go check it out. Go start following him. He is so inspirational and so motivational. Iron sharpens iron, go follow Brett and it will change your life. He has changed mine. Thank you, Brett, for coming on the show. Until next time. You know it's time for you to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Let's get after it.

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About  Brett Knutson

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Brett Knutson is a serial entrepreneur and speaker who has started several 7 and 8 figure companies. Brett's companies have raised millions and have led into working relationships with many respected investors like Rohan Oza (shark on shark tank/vitamin water/smart water), the Founder of EA Games, and many celebrities, professional athletes, and influencers. Brett regularly speaks alongside business icons like Steve Wozniak, Gary Vaynerchuk and others as well as at high schools and universities all around the country.

 

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The Busy Professionals' Guide To Finding The Perfect Match with April Davis

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Work can sometimes take a toll on the other aspects of our lives. For us busy professionals, finding someone to connect with can just be another thing we don’t want to bother ourselves with. Fortunately, April Davis, founder of LUMA – Luxury Matchmaking - has got you covered. April built a phenomenal business dedicated to the bosses out there who are looking for their power partner but do not have the time. She gives out her top three tips to help you meet your match and spark a connection while giving the red flags that you have to avoid.

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Listen to the podcast here:

The Busy Professionals' Guide To Finding The Perfect Match with April Davis

If you are a boss that is looking for your power partner or your ultimate match, you are in for a treat here. If you have a friend that is looking for their match, definitely share this episode. I am so excited to introduce to you one of my fabulous friends and Founder of LUMA - Luxury Matchmaking, April Davis. I want to share with you her backstory. I'll have her share a lot of the ins and outs of how she founded this phenomenal business, but also how she can help you. She's going to give her top three tips to help you meet your match. If this is not for you, share it with a friend. Share the love.

To give you a little bit of background on her story, she's a small-town Midwestern girl with big city dreams. She received her Master's at the age of twenty. She worked for a Fortune 500 company. She was totally crushing it in the corporate space while she was pursuing modeling and professional snowmobiling, which is pretty awesome. She had this talent to connect people and become a matchmaker. She never had thought about creating a business model around it but the more and more that she did it for her girlfriends, she's like, "It's not that hard." The more and more that she did it, she kept thinking, "I could make this a business." April, thank you so much for taking time out of your schedule to connect with all these bosses on the line.

Thank you for having me.

Let's hear a little bit of your background story. What intrigued you to buy the whole concept of starting your business and why did you decide to make this your full-blown career?

I was born to be a matchmaker because the first couple I ever put together was when I was sixteen years old. I didn't even think of that as an occupation back then. I'd always wanted to be a business owner. Fast forward ten years, I am sitting in Corporate America, working in Corporate America and thinking about relationships. I had a lot of single friends. I'm also married to a divorce attorney. We were always talking about relationships and what works and what doesn't. I received a lot of interesting insights from him, from his perspective. It all came together. I'm like, "I need to do this. I need to help people and make this into a business." I started looking at the various avenues that people had to meet. There were a lot of negative reviews of all the services and sites and apps and everything out there. I thought, "I can do better than this." My background is in process improvement, so it's working in process improvement. I could saw some things that I thought they did differently that would help improve the odds of being able to help their clients. I built the business around that and now we're here at LUMA - Luxury Matchmaking.

I have to say the two different things that set you apart from a lot of other things out there is you help busy professionals who don't have time to meet someone at the bar and don't have the energy to do the whole online dating thing like that is a hot mess. I have plenty of girl friends and guy friends that have gone down that path and even for me I'm like, "Don't sign me up for that class."

The thing about online dating apps and stuff, they only account for about 5% of relationships. The number one way to meet someone is through someone else. If all your friends are married and all their friends are married too, then you start where do professionals go to meet each other. That's why they can come to a service that specializes in connecting those types of people. A lot of our clients are selective. They have a lot to offer. They're successful. They have a lot going for them. They're not going to just meet somebody. They're not going to date somebody at a bar or something. They want somebody special that they can spend their life with.

One of the things that you had mentioned that you help people to find long-lasting relationships versus one of those flings or it's a take-home-to-mama type of person.

It's for people that want a relationship. They're not looking for a hookup or thinking that "If I have this person on my arm, I'm going to be happy." They want a true soulmate and a life partner and a healthy relationship. Those are the clients that we work with and we can help.

The game has completely changed even from ten years ago in the dating arena. I want to get right into it being around Valentine's Day timeframe. I want to know what your top three tips are to help someone meet their match.

The first one that's most important is it's not just you're going to find someone. You have to create a great life for yourself that is going to attract that person. Building a big and good social network is going to help you to reach out and connect with other people. The number one way to meet someone is through someone else. If you build up a great social circle, expand your network, go to meet-up groups, ask your friends to introduce you to their friends. That's going to create more opportunities for you. That's a good one. A second one is don't be afraid to approach someone that you like, ladies. It's 2019, go after what you want. Women do. If you're sitting back and being coy is the way you're going to attract somebody, sorry but it's not, especially the guys that all the women want, those guys are getting hit on by the women.

Women are going after and trying to get the guy that they want because everybody wants that more of the Alpha type, successful and driven and everything. If you see somebody that you like, don't be afraid to go out to him and chat with him. A smile goes a long way. If you're at a bar or restaurant or something, you have a drink in your hand, you could say, "Cheers," connect your drinks together. Also, bring your friends with you to talk to his friends or if you're a guy, also bringing your friends to talk to her friends. That's why people are out. If you're out at a restaurant or bar and social situations, they're there to meet other people. Don't be afraid to go up and talk to people. It could be something as simple as saying, "Hi, my name is." Shaking their hands and talking and chit-chatting with them.

Let's dive into that one a little bit more. For me being a lady boss, here's my two cents and I'm going to be totally upfront with all of you that are reading. Let's say you meet someone that you're like, "This seems like someone that could be a great match." Here's my take on it. For me, I drive my business. I drive my life. I feel like I'm driving all different pieces of my life. Is this another piece of my life that you feel I need to drive? Maybe this is too much of a perfect world but it's like, "I am already such a Type-A personality. I feel like that's one of the pieces in my life that I don't want to feel I have to crazy pursue," so set me straight.

You said it already. You drove everything. You got to where you are because you made decisions. You went after what you want. You put yourself through college. You built up this company. You did all these things to ultimately reach your goal. If a relationship, a partner and a family and all that is one of your goals, then absolutely you have to go after it. Whether you're proactively chasing after guys or if you're putting yourself in a situation and doing things to allow for it to happen, you definitely do have to put it out there and make it happen because he's not going to find you at your house. When you're working, he's not going to find you at your job. You have to put yourself out there. You have to create opportunities for it to happen. Women nowadays go after what they want and that's how you can obtain the relationship that you want.

My husband will tell you that I asked him out. It's funny because we started as friends. I was thinking of it in a friendly way, like coffee. I did send him a text. I had met him. He was the attorney for one of my friends. We were talking about her divorce and stuff. We got started talking more personal. I texted him one day and said, "Coffee?" because I happened to be near where he worked. We met up for coffee and started chatting and the rest is history. I did it. It doesn't have to be so direct and making him feel like you are the one that's pursuing the guy. Think about it back in the day when the ladies used to drop the handkerchief so the man could pick it up and give it to her. You have to create those openings so a guy can ask you out. You don't want to take over his role, but you want to make it easy for him. That may be opening the conversation so then he can ask you for your number. I'm not saying that you have to ask him directly, but at least give him the opportunity if you want to make him feel safe and that he's not going to get rejected if he does ask you out.

That's good solid advice because I need all the advice I can get, April.

I'm a big believer and if you put it out there in the universe, it will happen. If you write it down, "My goal is to meet someone and get married this year." I believe if you wrote that down as your goal, you allow things to happen, it will happen. You have to put everything in place to make it happen.

That's super on point because I believe everything else that I've pursued in my life, a lot of times you put it on that vision board. It's crazy how stars align. I agree with that 110%.

The third one, I always say to keep your expectations in check. You think you're attracted to someone physically doesn't mean he's going to be the person for your long-term relationship. Not everybody has the skills that are needed to be in a relationship. They may not be going at the same pace or the right person for you. Some people might be good for dating or whatever. Not everyone is going to be right for the long-term. Keep that in mind because you think you've met the one, it doesn't necessarily got to be the one forever.

Tell me with even the different types of relationships that you've connected people, what are the things that put together the ultimate relationship to something that doesn't ultimately work? What are some of those maybe red flags or what are those things that are more of a green light to be watching out for?

I try to match people according to their value system. One thing that we have our clients go through is a values assessment where they weigh their different values against each other to figure out what's most important to them. For example, you'd be amazed by how many people end up getting divorced because of religion. They didn't think that it would be that big of a deal. I'm fine with somebody that is spiritual. I can get past the fact that he is Jewish and I'm Christian or an atheist or whatever. When you have children, then that changes everything. I've met a lot of divorcees that had children and they didn't work out because of religion. I've met people that did it and then ultimately broke up years later because they're thinking about getting married and realizing one person wants to get married in the church and the other one would never do that and realizing how big of a deal it is.

Your value system is not going to change. It is what it is. When we first started falling for someone, our body, our brains, everything changes. It's lust. It's not love initially. Nature does that to us in order to get us to mate. It changes our physiology because ultimately if we did see all the red flags, it changes things. We don't notice those red flags initially and then eventually after about a year, turning into real love. Make sure you write down when you're writing, "Yes, I want to be in a relationship.” Write down what those values are that you want in your partner and hold yourself accountable to that because if somebody butts up against your major core values, it's going to be a problem long-term for that matter.

I was talking to my brother a little bit more about the whole dating scene. I told him that as soon as you're falling for someone, your brain literally starts changing the way that it's thinking and love is blind. To be aware of that, that is crazy.

You do have to watch out for those red flags and some people think, "I can work through that. It's not going to be a problem. For example, if you are a big gym buff and that's important to you. You meet somebody that isn't and doesn't work out, you’ve got to ask yourself, "Is this truly something that I can live with?" or are you going to end up resenting him down the road? That's one thing that I think you can work with. It depends on how far off somebody is obese and you're a big gym rat. That might be more of a health issue overall. That’s something like religion if they're atheist and you're a strong Christian. It's not going to work.

Let's say you're sitting down with someone who's new on the dating scene and you're going to start to coach them. Probably the first thing is you're going to bring them through the values assessment. What are a couple of other things that you're going to do to coach them to get them to that place where they feel comfortable, confident to rock out that date like a boss?

Perfect Match: The number one way to meet someone is through someone else.

Perfect Match: The number one way to meet someone is through someone else.

Everybody is different. Some of our clients, we've gone shopping with them to help them figure out what to wear on the date for state or attend some links to different outfits that they could put together. Give them an idea, physical, that first impression is important. We figure out what's going to be a good date idea for them. Everybody is different. Some people do well in our dinner drinks situation. Others might need some more entertainment. It depends on personalities. We will help them figure that out. As far as conversation, for example, I talked to a client right before he was going out on a date. He had been on a few dates and he is relatively new. He was divorced. I talked to them about his mindset and changing your mindset when you're going into the date to be instead of one of that you think, "Is this the person? Do I like them? I don’t know if I'm going to see them again." You're judging and critiquing them and trying to figure out, "Do we move to step two?"

Instead of that mindset, tricking the mindset of giving because when you're there to give that person a good time, it changes the whole dynamic and your expectation from them. That, in turn, makes for a better experience for both people. If your mindset is, "I'm going to give this person a good time. No matter what happens, if we see each other again, I want to make sure that they leave having a good time and that I gave it my all." When you do that, I've seen it where people are a lot more successful on the date and then it also relieves the pressure because they build up a lot of pressure around. It's the line or not or are you going to make a good first impression? Do they want to see me again? You're removing that pressure and you're there to have fun and make them have fun.

That's great because especially if people are wired in the business arena, which a lot of these bosses in the audience are, and maybe have the business sense on lockdown. When it comes to relationships and pursuing that "love of your life," it seems like there is a lot of pressure especially when you're getting to that point where you're like, "It would be great to meet someone." I love the concept of, "We're going out to have a good time. I'm going to add value to their life. We're going to have some fun. If something comes of it, great. If not, no worries." When you come to that point with an abundance mindset, magic can happen. I'm just saying. I'm not saying I'm an expert.

That's where the chemistry can develop and they're feeling like they're being interrogated. They're going to be turned off by that. Instead, if you maybe want to allow for natural chemistry to occur and you want to have fun, to begin with. You'll figure out the rest of the stuff.

I love when we went out for coffee. This was so fun. I love getting to know other lady bosses and entrepreneurs. It was so fun when we connected. I was starting to grill you with all these questions. One of the things that you said that you want to get even the women in the mindset of a man is not a plan and you cannot be thinking ring by spring.

More so because I meet a lot of women who are divorced. They were home with the kids. The man was bringing in the money and now they're having to get back out there and get a job and everything. That's what I say to them, “A man is not a plan.” You’ve got to take care of yourself and make sure that you can support yourself. You're not dependent on someone. It's important to have that freedom. People end up staying in relationships that aren't healthy or happy because they don't feel like they have any other alternative at some point. It's unfortunate but a man is not a plan.

It's the moral of the story. I personally think regardless of if the guy is very well to do or not and this is my own perspective, but the woman in the relationship should have something that's going on for herself. She should have something that gives her that self-esteem, that confidence. Maybe it doesn't necessarily have to bring in income. It can but something where it's an add value. Having a side hustle or having that something that can give her confidence goes a long way.

You definitely need to be able to have things to do to have self-esteem whether it's a job or passionate project or whatever. You have to have things going on in your life. It's definitely important.

April, this was fun to hear the rundown, giving us some good advice and wisdom. I want to transition digging into your backstory and how you started your business because you were making a name for yourself in Corporate America. You knew that was not the thing that lit your heart up. You wanted to start your own business. How did you transition from Corporate America to your own business within LUMA?

I did it. People have told me in the past that they want to start a company and this and that. I'm like, "Just do it. Start doing it." I started doing it on the side. I figured out, I have a business degree and we're flying to California one day. I started writing my business plan for my company. I found sample plans online. From there, I had a list of things I need to do and started taking them off, putting it together, building my website and marketing. The biggest hang-up was coming up with a name initially. That held me back from moving forward for so long. Finally, we were like, “Pick one, you can change it later.” I ended up changing it. It used to be Cupid’s Cronies. We changed it in 2016 to LUMA. I ended up hiring a marketing firm. I was doing everything on my own. I learned a lot and figured out ways to do things on my own. I was spending a ton of money. I didn’t hire a monthly accounting firm because you can blow through a lot of money when you're first starting out a company. You'd be amazed by what's available to you for free out there if you use Google and YouTube. That’s what I did.

Perfect Match: As soon as you're falling for someone, your brain starts changing the way that it's thinking. That is why love is blind.

Perfect Match: As soon as you're falling for someone, your brain starts changing the way that it's thinking. That is why love is blind.

While I was still working in Corporate America, I was working at home that day and they called me and said that they had let my boss go. He was an awesome person. He was the salt of the Earth. He grew up on a farm in Iowa. He was like the grandpa of the company. Everybody loved and adored him. He's 52 and had been working at the company for over 30 years. They let him go. They found somebody that was cheaper. That day I was pretty devastated and angry about what Corporate America has done to somebody who had always kept track of his hours over the years. He had figured that he put in nine years of overtime. It's so sad. He worked so hard. He had four kids. He could have been sending that time with raising those kids and being around them but he was dedicated to this company. Seeing that, that day I took my work computer, pushed it aside, two of my personal computers and finished everything that I had to do to get the company going. Within a year, I had three full-time employees and I left Corporate America and was doing this full-time.

You jumped and let that appear. You had that breaking point moment where you're like, "I don't want that to be my life fast forward and they lay you off in a hot second."

A lot of people, it can be hard. I was working 5:00 in the morning until 10:00 at night every day. I got married in the middle of that and so that was stressing a lot of work planning. I wanted to keep the safety of my corporate job for a while. Then I finally got to the point where there was no way that I could do both. I had to leave Corporate America. The funny thing is I wasn't worried or scared of failing. I was more scared of having to go back to Corporate America. I did not want to have to be in that environment ever again. I did what I had to do to keep the thing running and turning. I learned every bit of it, every role that I had to train other people to do and for me as well.

When you jumped out in faith, what would you say would be your biggest struggle on the way to making it happen?

Hold that balance because there's a lot of point at you. I couldn't go to the gym as much as I wanted and didn’t even sleep as much as I would have preferred. It’s a ton of work. I'm very grateful that I did. It got me where I'm at now. It was definitely worth it. I understand why so many businesses fail because people don't know their numbers. They will say, "It's hard," but nothing worthwhile. You definitely have to put in the work. I would tell anyone, make sure you understand your numbers in finance. Don't just count on your accountants to tell you because it's important to understand the metrics of what's going on in your business.

Knowing those numbers for sure. If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing from day one when you jumped out in faith and did your thing, what would it be?

There are so many things. In the beginning, I was trying to hire people to do certain parts. I had never done sales before. I didn't know how to do sales. I’m like, “I can’t do sales. I need to hire somebody that can do sales. I'm not going to do this well.” I had to learn eventually. I would have probably had learned earlier on or I wish I would've maybe taken out a job at a company like mine, so I could have learned the ins and outs of how they work before doing it because I had to make it up and learn as I go. A little more prep and skills training on the areas that I didn't realize. I thought, "If I create this great company and this brand, people are going to want to join in. They're going to want to buy our services."

Traction: Get a Grip on Your Business

Traction: Get a Grip on Your Business

It turns out, I had to learn how to sell. I listen to a lot of audiobooks and have a library on Audible now. That was the key thing for me is to figure out what skills you're going to have to create to be successful and going after that strong with. The most successful businesses that I've seen are usually when people take two skill sets and combine them. Somebody, you'd say a doctor and then they also have a business background and then they can create a successful business. Usually, it's not somebody that they're only skill set is being a doctor, you have to have a complementary skill set. The more complementary skill sets that you can have, then the more well-rounded and you understand things that are going to be more successful.

What is the best advice you've ever received from the get-go as far as the business that you've implemented in your business?

Everybody's probably read that enough and how to work on your business, not in your business. That's been something that I've been constantly striving, constantly trying to do, keep enabling other people on my team to do this constantly. I've been giving them different things off of my plate, getting things off my plate so they can take care of it because there's always something more for me to do. There's always going to be something else that I have to do, I delegate.

You'd highly recommend The E-Myth book?

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That The Poor And Middle Class Do Not!

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That The Poor And Middle Class Do Not!

The E-Myth and another one, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I think that's a good one. For people that don't understand P&L balance sheets, numbers, and metrics in general, I like anything around EOS. There are a lot of books about EOS out there for running your business and understanding the metrics and everything like that. It would be beneficial to people. I have a business and accounting background, so that was one of the things that had put me on in order for me to understand in our cashflow and business in general because it's important. That's why a lot of businesses don't do well is because people don't understand the numbers and maybe it's confusing, but we do have to learn it. Passion alone won't get you there.

One of my business coaches a little while back said, "Stefanie, you've had so much success. You have not looked at your numbers at all. How much more successful could you be if you looked at the numbers quarter by quarter, month by month to hone in, dial into that?" If someone wants to uplevel that side of their business and their mindset there, what would be the number one book that you'd recommend for helping wrap their head around the numbers? Even myself, as I'm putting myself out there, loving the marketing side, loving the people side, that type of thing, what would be the most in layman terms so that you don't have to have an accounting background but still understand the basics and put those numbers in place?

Traction, it's about the EOS operating system. That talks a lot about it. I can't think of any particular book because again I had my accounting background. I think The E-Myth does talk about it somewhat, but the whole traction in books are not about EOS. Those can be helpful that they have to do with KPIs, which are key performance indicators. It's knowing your goals, knowing what numbers you have to see on a yearly, monthly, weekly, daily basis that will help you to reach your goals and breaking it down from there. Also, if you own a company and you have employees and a lot of expenses and things, making sure that you understand the numbers from that perspective. There is a book about managing numbers from leadership or something like that. There are a lot of things.

Those are good resources. It's always good to know. I've heard that The E-Myth book a couple of different times, so I need to go pick that one up. April, last three questions. Number one, let's say someone walks up to you on the street and they say, "April, I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots. What's my first step?"

The E Myth: Why Most Businesses Don't Work and What to Do About It

The E Myth: Why Most Businesses Don't Work and What to Do About It

Research and if you can, I would try to get a job within a company that is similar so you can learn the ins and outs of the industry. Learn as much as you can about it because that's only going to benefit you when you go out there and do it yourself. Maybe if you already do have the experience, you are already working for a company and you want to put off and do your own thing. You have to do a lot more discovery because a lot of people think they are entrepreneurs and that's what The E-Myth says about it, are you an entrepreneur or are you just good at your profession? It does require different skill sets. As a business owner, I am a professional dealing with issues. I'm good at making decisions, figuring out problems. I'm a professional problem solver. It's what it comes down to. You have to ask yourself, is that what you want to do or do you want to be good at your craft? That's something important to figure out before you go down that hole.

Last two questions. What is your definition of a boss?

It's somebody that can make decisions that are resilient and only goes after what she or he wants and isn't going to stop because they've had some pushback or had some issues and stuff. They are somebody that's better. They're also not going to sit on the sidelines. They're not a wallflower. They're not going to let things happen around them. They're going to go after it and make it happen or say something if something's not right. They're going to make it right.

April, any other words of wisdom before we connect all these bosses that are reading to your incredible resources?

For all the women out there or men that are looking to meet someone and connect with that person, taking a look at a person that you want and then taking an inventory of yourself. Making sure that you are the person that they're going to be looking for. Like attracts like. You want to make sure that it's the person that you want. If somebody is a businessman, very successful, are you that person that you would be ideal going after? If not, after that self-reflection, figure out what your plan is in order to get there and be that person. One thing you might find interesting is that the number one occupation, people that we work with, business owners and then for women, it's an attorney. We had talked a bit about having that feminine energy and it would be your ideal match would want to be with.

That's one thing that we work with a lot with women oftentimes is that they're at work all day long. Maybe they are bosses and/or attorney, they're very strong and have to have male energy during the day. In order to attract the ideal match that you would like, you have to turn that off and release the feminine energy because ultimately that's what men want unless they are gay, they would be with another guy. Being that feminine person and figuring out how to turn it off and let yourself shine through because a lot of bosses, we tend to take the wheel and take control and dominate. When you're on a date that's not very attractive. People don't want to feel like they're being interrogated. They want to have fun. Being aware of that and putting these in check will be important as well.

Thank you for those last words of wisdom, April. I know all my fellow lady bosses and all the guys that are reading on here are definitely going to put that into practice. Thank you for your time, April. I know that there are going to be a lot of people that want to connect with you. Why don't you share a little bit more about your services, what you have to offer and where you can connect? We had talked about if people are interested, the code word would be boss?

Let us know who referred them. All people have to do is go to our website at www.LUMASearch.com and apply by filling out the profile form. They will end up meeting with one of the matchmakers and go from there.

Thank you so much, April. It was such a blast connecting with you, grilling you with all the questions. I am excited about helping people on their journey to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. That doesn't mean only in business but that's in relationships. That's all other pieces of your life. Thank you, April. We are looking forward to connecting with all you, bosses, and reach out to us if you have any questions. Be blessed. Let's get after it.

 

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About April Davis

It all began when April Davis, Founder of Luma - Luxury Matchmaking, realized she needed to take her skill of intuition and understanding people to the next level. She was always a hard worker, a small town Midwestern girl with big city dreams, having received her Master’s degree by the age of 20 and worked her way up a Fortune 500 company, while pursuing modeling and Professional snowmobile racing on the side. But if there was one thing she knew more than anything – it was how to help people find love. And not just the butterflies and hearts type of love – the real, long-lasting, take home to Momma, marriage material type of love.

After all, she’s married to a Divorce Attorney, which gives her a unique insight to know what’s going to last. April Davis was a Matchmaker for years within her own circle of friends and acquaintances; she just didn’t know that she was at the time. Whenever she met someone who was single, she would naturally start thinking of who she might know that would be a good fit for that person.

April often wondered why so many of her girlfriends were single – they were all high-caliber women who were beautiful on the inside and out. Many were just unable able to meet a man they truly connected with, but that didn’t mean there were no good men out there! The challenges involved in singles meeting quality matches became increasingly apparent, and it was then that April realized she needed to take her matchmaking from a hobby to a full-time career.

April initially did some competitive analysis and determined there was definitely a niche and need for something better than the current so-called matchmaking options out there. She wanted to focus on helping busy professionals who didn’t want to meet someone at a bar and didn’t have the time or energy to dedicate to online dating. They also don’t want to go on a bunch of dates but on quality dates. When April went to meet with a competitor and to learn more about the company model, she was told they had over 10 guys who would be a match for her. Well, April is a pretty selective lady and knew there was no way they had 10 men who she would be interested in. So their negative reputation found ubiquitously across the web was confirmed for her at that moment.

There were several big corporate players in the game who seemed to be ruining the industry by promising people a bunch of dates but sacrificing quality. Also, anyone could attest to the fact that many of the single people out there need more than just to be set up on a date. They need coaching and advice to help guide them on how to attract, connect, and keep a match. Finally, the 3rd differentiating factor came in what people actually did on the date. The idea of going to lunch or dinner seemed so outdated and formal. Luma was going to set the stage so people could have a fun experience with each other without feeling like they were in an interview. Couples would go on activity-based dates where they actually did something instead of sit across the table from one another awaiting that awkward silence moment. They could go bowling, paddle boarding, dancing, or maybe go for a walk. The goal is to get them next to each other versus facing each other, which is much more comfortable.

Having a background in business, the next thing April did was put together a Business, Finance, and Marketing plan. She had a ton of ideas and just needed to write them down. After that, it was just pulling all the pieces together and getting the infrastructure and marketing in place. Working full time and doing this work simultaneously proved to be challenging and it wasn’t until about 2 years later after April’s extremely well regarded and respected boss was let go from the company he served for over 30 years and at the age of 52. It was on this day the fuel was put on the fire and she knew she had to be done with corporate America and be the Entrepreneur she always wanted to be. Within 2 months, the website was finally finished as well as marketing materials created and business started coming in.

 

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From Full-Time Job To Entrepreneurship with Jessica Mae

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We all begin from somewhere. Entrepreneurs and even those who are still in the process of becoming one go through levels of progress that takes them from one job to the next until they have what they dreamed of. Co-founder and Creative Director for WarPaint International Beauty Agency, Jessica Mae, is no stranger to this narrative. As a boss to be reckoned with, she started her business while running after her full-time job. She shares her own journey towards creating her own business as well as the lessons she got along the way. Jessica lets us in on what made her successfully transition. She also touches on the beauty industry and how she got into it while sharing the best advice she heard as an entrepreneur.

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From Full-Time Job To Entrepreneurship with Jessica Mae

I am so blessed and so honored to have one of my dear friends and such a phenomenal entrepreneur and she has honestly saved me multiple times. I want to give you some phenomenal highlights. I'm not even doing it justice, everything that I'm going to share here. This boss to be reckoned with, she started her business while she was going and she was running after her full-time job. When she jumped out in faith and started her own business, the amount of media and press that she received from it was through the roof because she was different. She launched a beauty agency, which I am on a regular basis utilizing, which is amazing. She founded WarPaint International. Just a couple of highlights, she produced Rumble on the Runway. She launched a couple of different locations, one of them being New York, which I'm going to be utilizing for some of our different fun things. She had produced New York Fashion Week, a component of it. I am extremely proud, honored, and blessed to have my beautiful dear friend, Jessica Mae, with me. Thank you for coming on.

Thank you for having me, Stefanie. Speaking of saving, you've saved me in multiple ways too so it's a mutually beneficial saving relationship.

Iron sharpens iron. I need to give you guys the background of how I met this all-star. I was launching my book back in 2016 and I had this vision and dream that I feel was downloaded from the main man upstairs to make this book launch. Not only a book launch, but an experience to change women's lives and change the way that they see themselves and step into their God-given potential. One of the things that I asked myself was, “What do women love?” Women love fashion. They love fun. Will they love a fashion show? That sounds amazing. Long story short, I had it all lined up. We're ready to go.

Probably about two weeks out and the gal who was going to be running the fashion show, she messages me and she says, “I'm having some family issues so I can't run the fashion show.” I'm like, “What? No, I've already landed Calvin Klein as a sponsor, Fabletics with Kate Hudson, all these different amazing sponsors. You can't just not show up.” She's like, “No, I'm not showing up.” I'm freaking out. I go to this women's event that I'm speaking at. I meet this beautiful angel that is extended from above and I'm freaking out. I said, “I don't even know what I'm going to do.” What did this beautiful human being say? “I'll take care of it. I'll do hair and makeup and I'll coordinate all the songs.” She was my saving grace. I don't know what I would've done without you.

It was such a fun event. It was a great growth opportunity for me as well because there were a couple of little hiccups behind the scenes that you had to take a deep breath and breathe through and say a little prayer. It all turned out so amazing and I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to work with you.

Thank you. It definitely was such a beautiful partnership from day one.

The feeling is mutual.

It’s cool how God works because after the whole event happened, you hit it out of the park. I couldn't have asked for more. I’m so thankful. You read my book when you were out in New York. Why don't you share a little bit about that experience?

When I met Stefanie, we met before that event but it was more just in passing. When we connected, it was definitely divine intervention. I completely believe that with every molecule in my body. During that time in which you didn't know, I was going through a rough time as an entrepreneur. I had been in my business for a couple of years. I was feeling like I was spinning my wheels and wasn't getting anywhere. I felt stuck. I had some other personal things going on in my life at the time that were challenging as well. My mom and I went on a trip to New York the first weekend in December of 2016. I brought your book with me and I started reading it and it was like the clouds opened up. It was like speaking new life into my soul. We landed, literally weren't even at the gate yet. I was texting Stefanie saying, “I'm reading your book. I'm not even a quarter of the way in yet and it's changing my life. I would love to have you be a business coach and mentor for me.” She was elated and excited. It was a game changer, definitely a point in my life that I'll never forget.

I have to say you have been such a game changer. That's the beautiful thing of when you specifically look for or you pray for divine interventions, you can't figure it out on your own, but God orchestrates it. That's what you've done for me. Thank you, Jess. It's been so fun. Let's dive into your backstory. There are a lot of people that we call them wannabe entrepreneurs or people that are trying to make that side hustle work. I want you to share your backstory and how you transitioned from a full-time job to creating your business.

Full-Time Job: The beautiful thing of when you specifically look for or pray for divine interventions is that God orchestrates it.

Full-Time Job: The beautiful thing of when you specifically look for or pray for divine interventions is that God orchestrates it.

When I started WarPaint, I was working at a salon at the front desk. My husband and I started it together because he was the first person in my life who said, “You have a major passion for this. I believe in you. You're amazing. This is what you were put on this planet to do. Let's start a business.” Lying in bed one night, we drafted up the concept for WarPaint International and realized at that point that I needed to transition into a full-time job that was more steady, Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. The thought of that made me feel a little bit inauthentic because at the time, I had long red hair. I wear black. I wear spiked heels and a little bit more edgy. The idea of going into a very conservative office was a little bit off-putting. I thought, “I'm going to rock this. I'm going to make the best of it. I'm going to learn whatever I can out of this experience,” and I did. About two and a half years after that, we’ve grown WarPaint to a point where it was time to either kiss or get off the pot. It was time to dive in and take that leap of faith and say, “We're going at this full time because if we don't, I'll regret it the rest of my life.”

You were like, “All bets are off. Let's just go for it. Let's make it happen.”

It was growing exponentially and was demanding more and more of my time. I was doing my full-time job a disservice by being distracted mentally while I was there. I was then doing WarPaint International disservice by being not available for the growth that it was requiring of me. Finally, in May 2014, I just said, “It's time.”

What were the feelings? Even a couple of weeks in, did you have any feelings of like, “What did we just do?” Did you feel like there was a lot of faith behind what you were doing?

I would say it was definitely a mixture. I was super excited but also scared because I had no idea what I was doing. I had never worked for myself full-time before and I had no concept of what it takes to run a business full time. To be quite honest, for the first six months, I wasted a lot of time because I was having coffee and lunch with my girlfriends and sleeping in and going into happy hour and just like, “This is great. I can do whatever I want when I want.” Then Sam, my husband, being twelve years older than me, was trying very much not to manage me, but say, “Let's tweak our schedule a little bit.” I was like, “I got this. It’s fine.” At the end of that six months, I went, “You're right. I wasted a lot of time.” I had to find my own footing and stumbled my way through it, but we eventually got there.

Talk about a power partnership. You and Sam, I have fallen in love, #relationshipgoals. You guys definitely are such a beautiful couple and you complement each other extremely well. That's great that he called you out in a very caring and loving way. Tell me if you were to start all over again, what would you do differently?

I would have hired a business coach right off the bat. I struggle with time management. It's an area of opportunity for me. I would have introduced some of the skills and techniques that I've learned from you over the last couple of years immediately. I know that it would have made a huge difference. It's also one of those things where you go, “I would have done that differently,” but at the same time would I really?

Sometimes we do have to hit real life and sometimes learn those lessons that you can't learn any other way. Both of us are very similar. We can sometimes be stubborn like, “It's my way or the highway.” We drive our agenda, but once we do hit that rock bottom moment, then bringing someone in that will guide and direct you, it was better received. It all happens for a reason. What would you say would be one of your biggest struggles along the way as an entrepreneur and how do you overcome it?

There's been a lot of high peaks and a lot of low valleys and I know that there's going to be more. It's the way it goes. I definitely think that making sure that I have the right people on the bus has been one of the biggest challenges because it's like what they say. If you have one rotten apple, it spoils the whole bunch. If you don't have the right person in the right seat, that does not necessarily mean that they're a bad apple. It's just you're not going to have the type of growth that you need and/or want. Due to some of that, it has created some different struggles and challenges along the way and has gotten us stuck a few times and has caused some cashflow challenges. Emotional and personal challenges too because it is a small business and it is like a family. You do as much as you try to keep it business is business and friends as friends. It does get mingled in there. That's definitely been a big challenge. To overcome it, to be honest, it's been continuing to surround myself with amazing strong people like yourself. Just rooting down in faith has been a huge component. I've definitely noticed that when I have a good relationship with God, things are going in the right direction. When I start to stray, it’s when things start to unravel.

I even remember us going out to Peoples Organic. It’s one of the last times that we got together over lunch and I opened up and shared my heart of how there was this specific person in my life. I felt so extremely close to this human being. When I had to create a healthy boundary for myself, I felt like a fish out of water because she was a part of my life on another level. I was so blessed and grateful to even share my heart with that inner circle around you. It meant the world to me, that when we went out, when I walked away, I was like, “Thank you, Jesus, for such an extremely wonderful human being in my life.” It's the truth. That's what helps us go to that next level. We have other people that challenge us, and I was thinking about this even when you came out to the lake. You called me out on some stuff. I called you out on some stuff. Both of us were probably a little bit frustrated that we both said different things. It was so good because looking back on that, that was a game-changing moment for both of us and both of our lives.

Full-Time Job: Pushing the boundaries of how we think about things and shifting the paradigm makes all the difference in the world.

Full-Time Job: Pushing the boundaries of how we think about things and shifting the paradigm makes all the difference in the world.

It's creating those, as my therapist would say, no-edges relationships where it's calling you out, but it's coming from such a place of love. It’s like, “I've realized X, Y, and Z. How about thinking or doing it this way?”

Pushing the boundaries of how we think about things and shifting the paradigm makes all the difference in the world. I was sharing with you before we got this podcast started. I'm like, “I'm in a 90-day blitz. This is hard and some of this sucks,” and you're like, “Yes it does, but what are you learning from it?” I'm like, “I love it. You are so awesome.” How cool is that? We can have girlfriends and we can have that tribe around us that it's like, “This is hard, but how are you going to grow?” That's the way you have to strengthen that mental muscle and that's how you up-level.

Growth is uncomfortable. Sometimes flat out it’s not fun, but it's in those uncomfortable moments when exponential growth happens.

It’s leaning into it and being okay. It’s getting into the nitty-gritty of like, “I'm not going to die. It's going to be okay.” Tell me what is the best advice you've ever received as an entrepreneur?

It would have to be continuing to surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, but also incorporating people into your circle that are a step ahead of you that is going to motivate you and push you to go even farther than you thought you could. You had told me to come with a favorite quote, but this is from your book on being “Be bumped for a minute, not a month.” That is seriously some of the best advice I've ever received. Putting that into practice, however, is a totally different ballgame. That is definitely amazing advice.

If you could go back in time to the day that you started to become an entrepreneur, what is one piece of advice that you would tell yourself from day one that would help?

Learn QuickBooks. Take a class on QuickBooks. I dove into that like a fish out of water. I had no idea what a P&L was. I had no idea what cashflow meant. I'm a makeup artist by trade learning the business side of things. I definitely have the intelligence and the wherewithal to do it, but it was a lot harder teaching it to myself than if I would've just said, “I'm going to be humble and go take a class.” I literally thought that a write-off was a discount.

I don't judge. I've thought some pretty crazy things too.

If you've seen the Seinfeld episode of when Kramer smashes Jerry’s stereo and he's like, “The post office just writes it off.” He's like, “Write it off what?” He goes, “You don't even know what a write-off is.” He goes, “Do you?” “No, but they do, and they are the ones writing it off.” It was like that.

Life is not that serious. Just enjoy the journey and laugh through some of those moments. When you're in that place of maybe not feeling good about things. You're in that low vibe space, how would you say you get yourself to a high vibe? How do you shock yourself to get there?

Full-Time Job: If you want to realize your potential inside, then be in an environment that pushes you to grow.

Full-Time Job: If you want to realize your potential inside, then be in an environment that pushes you to grow.

There are a couple of things. I, in the last months, have started gratitude journaling. I get up every morning and make my coffee, put on some nice classical music or whatever I'm in the mood for that morning. I sit down and I think about what am I grateful for now. I physically take out a pen and my journal and write them down and date it. Then I spend some time in prayer and doing some devotions to just ground down for the day. Going back to the gratitude piece, when I start to feel like a negative thought is starting to enter my head or things start to get a little bit out of control, I take a moment and I pause even if it's just 30 seconds to go back to what am I grateful for now. Most of the time that works. If I still find myself feeling down or discombobulated, I call a friend. I phone a friend as they do on whatever TV show that is. A lot of times it's been you. I'll call other business mentors that I look up to or other women that are in my tribe that can give me that truth, especially the learning grace with yourself of like, “I'm going to allow myself to feel this, but I'm not going to get stuck in it.”

That is so good because if you don't let yourself feel those emotions, whatever you bury doesn't die. Have that good cry, cleanse it out and then give yourself that time and then onward and upward. That's such beautiful advice. I want to shift gears a little bit and talk about how you entered the marketplace. The cool thing about your business is you didn't come in like everybody else and that's why you got that media. That's why you got your press. Talk about the different type of angle that you came in, jumping in with your business with. Tell them what it is. I utilize this on a monthly basis. I'm obsessed, it's amazing. How did you come up with the idea? I want to hear all the things.

Taking it a step back. We started WarPaint without any startup costs. We did not take out a business loan. We did not seek investment dollars or anything like that. Sam and I started our business with a whole bunch of dreams, a whole lot of Jesus, and a couple of hundred dollars to get the domains hosted and things and just hit the ground running. Outside of that, it was a lot of creative brainstorming. In that, we came up with the concept of a beauty membership. I'm somebody who doesn't spend too much time looking at the competition. I do a little check, a little side eye like, “What are they up to? That's cool.” How can I turn that around and make it my own and make it better? I'm constantly looking for ways to be different because I do not want to be a me-too business. I want to be WarPaint International and original.

We concepted the idea for a beauty membership. Our company is based on doing makeup applications and hair styling services on-site. We go to the client's home, office, hotel, event venue. We have been known to one occasion do a backseat of a car if there's a need for somebody to get their services done and they don't have time to do it in their home. We decided, “How do we take that a step further and focus on retention?” Especially with weddings and photo shoots, that's one-time. We come in, we do the work, it's amazing. Most of the time we're not then retaining that client because they don't have big events all that often. We concept with the idea for the beauty membership to be a monthly membership like the gym or other places that have different memberships where you get two services per month. We come on-site. Stefanie now is one of our amazing VIP members.

It's amazing if you are in the twin cities if you're in New York. What're the other locations?

San Diego, Los Angeles and Charlotte, North Carolina.

This is a game changer because a lot of times as entrepreneurs, sometimes we will put ourselves on the back burner. We don't go and have fun and put ourselves out there and do something for ourselves. I feel like this can be something that can make yourself a priority. Have some fun. When you look better, you feel better. You exude more confidence, I feel. For me, this has been one of the most fun things that I splurged on for myself in the last year because it's something that you do for yourself. It makes all the difference in the world. It's a blast that I'm sharing it. I talk to my girlfriends about this all the time. I'm even giving some different fun lens away because it's a fun gift to give away to girlfriends as well.

Still to date, we've had the beauty membership. We're coming on our five-year anniversary in May and there's different businesses and salons around the twin cities specifically that do different memberships. I have a membership at Waxing the City for my brows and different things, but there's still no one doing something quite like what we are. That's exciting because it's different.

I am extremely busy so having them come to my house and everything A to Z and then I can just run out the door. That is worth its weight in gold to me versus having to go to the salon and try to figure all the things out. I love the simplicity of the membership. Thank you for creating it. You were helping the masses. You've been in business for years, give or take. What are the next five years look like for you?

We're excited about the next chapter of WarPaint International. We are going to be franchising the business. I'm very excited. I'm actually in the midst of reviewing this 80-page long document from our lawyers that I need to review to make sure that all the T's are crossed, I's are dotted, and I understand what's in there. I'm going to be spending a few long nights here getting through that. It's very exciting and then along with franchising, we do have a mobile app that's in development. Right now, we have an online booking which is mildly convenient. You can hit the website, hit the book now button and you're good. Pretty soon there will be a mobile app to download where we're just a couple of clicks away.

The thing that inspires me about you and Sam, you’re content but you're never satisfied with the status quo. You're always challenging yourself and you're always looking to grow. You always have a business coach. You always are enrolling in courses, in education, always stretching yourself to go to that next level. If you want to realize your potential inside, that's the type of environment that you want to put yourself in. That is extremely inspiring to so many people. Thank you for being who you are.

I see a personal therapist now. I've been seeing her for about a year for no better reason than to dig in and do that personal growth outside of the business. Learn more about my psyche and doing the check-ins and just making sure I'm healthy and that I am, as a person, is growing. She says to me in our sessions, “If we're not growing, our soul is dying.” It's the same thing with business. If your business isn't growing and you're not continually pushing the envelope, it's going to stay stagnant and eventually your competition is going to outgrow you.

Even in our last coaching session, I give people the option of, “Do you want to have solely business coaching or do you want to look at your life as a whole?” You didn't even think for a second. You said, “I want to see it as life as a whole,” because you know when you're filling the buckets in all different areas outside of the business, that helps the business on another level. That's cool. You make your yoga a priority, you make your prayer time a priority, your devo is a priority and that's such a beautiful thing. That's why you are growing at the level that you are. We're going to be shifting again to lightning round with Lady Boss. When you aren't crushing it in business, what do you love to do?

I love to drink wine. I love to spend time with our two adorable little baby puppies. They’re not baby puppies anymore. They're two and five. Spend time with my husband. Yoga. I love this new workout called Solidcore. It's everything.

If you wouldn't have started what you did with WarPaint International, what would you have gone into?

When I was going to college I was majoring in elementary education, so who knows, maybe I would've continued on with that. I would have ended up back in the beauty industry in some level or another. Maybe not a business owner, but definitely something in the beauty realm.

Chipotle or Chick-fil-A?

Chipotle.

What’s your favorite way to spend downtime?

I love to read. I'm a huge reader. I love to go to church. It fills my soul and grounds my spirit and spending time with family and friends.

What are you absolutely addicted to?

Coffee.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

That's why we connect. Cheers to coffee. What are you reading right now?

I am finishing up The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I am at the better end of Bittersweet, that’s the title, by Shauna Niequist.

What’s your most embarrassing moment?

The first thing that comes to mind is when I was in eighth grade and I was a softball player. I had a front close bra on, and I was up to bat and I took a swing and miss, and the bra came unsnapped. I had to call time and I was like, “Sorry everyone.” I announced it. I don't know why. I felt the need to do that, but I announced it and I was like, “Sorry, everyone. My bra just came unsnapped.”

What’s your favorite food?

Italian.

Who inspires you and who do you aspire to be like?

There are so many lady bosses that I'm inspired by. I know it feels cheesy, but you're a huge inspiration to me. May she rest in peace, Kate Spade was a huge inspiration to me, and I look up to her. This might not be popular to say, but I adore Ivanka Trump. Just on a personal level. She's a class act. She's incredibly intelligent and I love the empire that she's built. Unfortunately, she's got the last name that is probably not too popular with a lot of people right now, but as an individual, as a person, I adore her.

Describe yourself in one word.

Genuine.

You're such a beautiful human being. You exude authenticity and you care, and you have so much compassion for people. I thank God that God brought you into my life. If you could swap lives with one person for a day, who would it be and why?

It would be one of my besties, Jamie Yuccas. She's a correspondent for CBS. I've been with her when she's had different shots and things to do. Her job is so interesting and the cool people and stories that she gets to bring to light are so amazing. Our relationship has grown so much over the past couple of years. Being able to step into her life for a day and see the things that she comes into contact with her job, bring us even closer.

If you would be a superhero, who would you be and why?

Hands down, Wonder Woman.

Have we had any other answers?

She is such a badass.

I have all the memorabilia of her.

She's amazing. She gets in these epic battles and comes out and she flips her hair and it's perfect. If I could even channel that element, that would be fantastic.

That would be fabulous. We're on the home stretch here. If someone met you and said, “I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots, what's my first step?”

Firing your fears and letting go of all the lies that you tell yourself. Get grounded because you got to have both feet on the ground and stand firm in who you are in your truth in order to do those things.

What is your definition of a boss?

Somebody who's extremely resilient and has a lot of grit. If you hear 100 noes, you're going after that one yes. Someone who doesn't give up and is willing to throw punches but also roll with them. It's important to be kind and have compassion but also set healthy boundaries so that you're not getting taken advantage of.

Any last words of wisdom?

Just echoing everything we've already talked about. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people that are going to help challenge you and help you grow. Stay true to who you are and stay grounded in faith.

This was such a fun episode. You made my day. How can people connect with you? I know so many of my audience that are in the areas that the beauty agency is in and the beauty membership is in. They're going to want to take advantage of this. How do they get ahold of you and all the things?

You can email me at Jessica@WarPaintInternational.com. You can visit our website, which is WarPaintInternational.com. You can find us on Instagram, @WarPaintBeautyAgency and then my personal Instagram is @MUAJessicaMae.

Thank you so much. I want to acknowledge you, Jess, for being such a beautiful light in the world. For caring so deeply for so many people and making the impact that you're making through your business and being who you are. You are an incredible human being and you make me better. Thank you. For the audience, you heard it from Jess and I'm going to echo that as I say at the end when I challenge you. This is your time to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Get after it. Let's make it happen.

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About Jessica Mae

Jessica Mae is the Co-Founder and Creative Director for WarPaint International Beauty Agency, alongside Sammy J. Koza.

Makeup & beauty have been a lifelong passion for Jessica Mae. She has been working as a professional makeup artist for 11+ years, getting her start as a counter manager for Benefit cosmetics. Jessica quickly fell in love with the industry and her thirst for knowledge and growth in her career took precedence over all else.

In 2010 she shifted her focus away from the retail side of the industry and set out on a mission to create a unique agency of talent. Once "Makeup by Jessica Mae", operating in the consumer markets, Jessica launched WarPaint International as an on-demand mobile agency. WarPaint represents high profile artisans specializing in wedding day beauty, editorial hair and makeup, hair design, trend development, special FX and day experiences.

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Three Simple Steps To Jumpstart Your Financial Freedom with Ben Peters

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Sometimes, even the New Year still does not feel much different when it comes to your financial goals. You may have constantly been on a loop trying to achieve what you had planned years before. It is time to finally change that this 2019 as Ben Peters, powerhouse real estate agent of Mission Real Estate Group, shares the three simple steps to jumpstart your financial freedom game plan and bust whatever is holding you back. Learn the ways you can put yourself out there and even create your own financial freedom blueprint; all the while finding out how you can make your money make more money.

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Listen to the podcast here:

Three Simple Steps To Jumpstart Your Financial Freedom with Ben Peters

I'm so jazzed about this episode. I have a very special guest. I have my phenomenal partner in crime and brother, Ben Peters. I want to give you a little bit of background. Not only is he a powerful powerhouse real estate agent, but he's also been in real estate for over five years. He is in the top 2% of real estate agents in the nation. This is my little brother. Let me give you a little perspective. He's 6’5” and over 200 pounds and weighs a little bit more than me. I wanted to bring him on the show because of the choices that he has made and how he is creating a financial freedom game plan for himself. He's paying that forward to other people. A little fun fact about this kid is that he has been at 24 weddings. People are starting to ask him to do their wedding. He is called the Ripped Reverend.

That's 24 weddings being either a groomsman, officiating the wedding, or being an usher. Not all groomsman but it's getting up there. I have three more on the schedule. I'll hit 27. I'm the male version of 27 Dresses.

Ben, I want you to share. I'm impressed by how you really stepped up even in the last couple of years. You're building a team in real estate but not only that, you're making an amazing income, but you are also investing it like a boss. That's why I asked you to be on here.

I got into real estate and I loved it and the income it can bring in. What's great about real estate is there's very little schooling that you need and you can make a ton of money based off of that. It's all about hustle. Whoever hustles the most, it’s great. There's no income cap. The thing about real estate is it's all commission. There's no base pay. I've been making good money for a couple years and I started looking at it. I'm like, “The market's great right now. What happens if the market falls apart?” I want to have that backup plan just in case. A year comes around and I'm not doing near as many transactions as I used to do. I'm a firm believer that I've built my business to a place where it won't get to that point. I always think in the worst-case scenario, so I started doing some real estate investing.

That's what I've been preaching from day one and you've heard that so often. You preach the same thing to create multiple streams of income. Just in case one dries up, you've got a couple of others to choose from and dig your well before you're thirsty. We want to share with our amazing audience the three simple steps to jumpstart your financial freedom game plan to bust you out of whatever's holding you back. A lot of times people wake up January 1st of the next year and they're like, “It doesn't look much different than the year before on January 1st.” We want to get you to a place of not having to worry if your main stream of income is coming in. I want you to explain to our audience what is a financial freedom number.

How I look at a financial freedom number is, what is the number that I need to have coming in per month in order for me to not only live and get by but flourish, get something done in this world? Everybody's financial freedom number is a little bit different. Some people say, “If I had an extra $2,000 coming in per month that would be perfect for me.” There are some people who would probably be like, “If I have an extra $20,000 coming in per month, that's my financial freedom number where if I achieve this number, I can take a step back from my 9 to 5 job and I can focus on what I want to do in life.”

It's been so fun to watch people run after this. It gives them a really strong why of setting their blueprint up in order to run after that number. It gives you a lot of determination to make it happen. What is your number one simple step to jumpstart your financial freedom?

A lot of times I like to say, live below your means, but in America, we don't like to live below our means. The number one step I am suggesting if you can't live below your means is to go out and make more money. There are lots of ways to do that. There are some people who are saying, “I work a 9 to 5 job. I can't do that.” There are tons of ways to make more money. The one that I suggest is to rent out a bedroom in your house. There are all sorts of people who are looking for a cheap rental.

I want you to share with one of your friends that said, “Ben, I don't know if I can make more money.” That's one simple way to do it.

This particular friend said, “I don't know if I can afford to rent out a bedroom or anything like that.” I told him, “You can't afford not to.” I asked him, “What are you paying in rent per month? What are you paying in a payment?” He said, “About $700.” I'm like, “$700, we'll round it underneath. That's $8,000 a year that's going out of your pocket into your landlord's pocket or into somebody else's pocket. That's $700 per month.” What I've done, I bought a three-bedroom house. I rented out the three other bedrooms. I am cashflowing. My payment on my house is about $1,300. I make about $2,000 per month from those three bedrooms that I'm renting out. It's a cheap rental for the guys I'm renting it to. It's a win-win because it's cheap for them and it's obviously cheap for me. Instead of paying $700 like my buddy, I am making $700. He has $8,000 going out. I have $8,000 coming into my bottom line. I can take what I would be paying of $700 per month and put it in my own pocket. I have an additional $8,000 in my pocket.

Financial Freedom: If you want it bad enough, you'll figure out a way to do it.

Financial Freedom: If you want it bad enough, you'll figure out a way to do it.

Not only do you not have $8,000 going out, you have $8,000 coming in from your renters and you have an additional $8,000 in your pocket from yourself. That's a difference of $24,000. The other point that I didn't even bring up is every month that your renters are paying, they're paying down your principal. Call that another $700 per month. I'm oversimplifying these numbers. There's a lot more minutia to it but that's an additional $700 per month that's being paid down on the principle of your house. That's $32,000 a year. That's a full-time job. When people are like, “It might be tough.” It may be tough to rent out a bedroom but you can have the equivalent salary of a full-time job by being smart about what you're doing. To me, it's a no-brainer.

That is a really simple way to add to the bottom line of your finances. Number one, rent out a bedroom. That's one way to make some extra money. What is number two?

What I did all through college, I flipped things on Craigslist. This isn't necessarily the sexiest thing in the whole wide world but there are tons of people who put stuff for the free section on Craigslist and say, “I want you to get it out of my house.” The best thing I ever did, I used to do this all through colleges. It’s the reason I graduated college with as little debt as I did. I got a free broken iPod from a guy on Craigslist. I advertised it on Craigslist and said, “It's a broken iPod. If anybody wants to trade or anything like that.” I traded it for a Blu-ray player. This is back when Blu-ray first came out. That Blu-ray player, I then traded on a guy on Craigslist a Bose surround sound system. That Bose surround sound system ended up selling for $2,500. I got $2,500. That was one of the best ones I ever did off of a free item on Craigslist. When people say, “That's not worth the time and money.” No, it is if you're smart about it.

Anyone can do that. Anyone that has the hustle and they say, “I want to get myself out of debt. I want to get on the other side. I don't want to keep getting deeper and deeper into debt. I want to get rid of the credit cards this year. I want to get rid of my car payment this year.” If you want it bad enough, you'll figure out a way to do it. Number three, what is it?

Start a side hustle. Most people have a 9 to 5 job. That's the majority of Americans have some type of 9 to 5 job. There are plenty of hours in the day to do something extra. What do you do?

Helping someone start a side hustle is truly what keeps me up at night. I've been coaching people how to start their side hustle for over ten years before it became popular. I was reading in Forbes there is no downside to a side hustle. There are only benefits to building more than one source of income. A side hustle is the new job security. I started my side hustle a little over ten years ago and it literally became a six-figure residual income for me eighteen months into that business. I had no prior business experience. I didn't know what I was doing but I was coachable, teachable, and I went all out on that side hustle. It has been amazing to watch what it has done in my own life and how I've paid that forward to other people that want it bad enough. There are so many ways to start a side hustle.

If you're really good with graphic design, become a graphic designer on the side and help people to propel their side hustle forward. You get paid for it. Even a nanny job, I remember as I was building my side hustle, it wasn't giving me my full-time income right away but I took all these other jobs. I did brand ambassador jobs. I remember even one, it was the day after Thanksgiving and I was passing out Craisins at Macy's. “Is it sexy?” “No.” “Did it pay the bills while I was building my side hustle to make my full-time income?” “Absolutely.” It was $30 an hour. It’s not a bad way to put yourself out there, have some fun and meet some people.

I did a brand ambassador job. We handed out hot chocolate. I had a backpack of hot chocolate in my bag. We handed it out at the Holidazzle parade. That was super fun and it is $30 an hour and all you're saying is, “You want free hot chocolate?” Who's going to turn that down? It was awesome. If you're looking for a side hustle, a brand ambassador is another easy one. It's two or three hours here and there.

When you think outside the box a lot of people are like, “I don't know what to do for that side hustle.” Ask someone who started their side hustle, ask them how they got started. A lot of times successful people will share with you what they’ve done and give you different ideas. Maybe you need to join a mastermind. Maybe you need to hire a coach. What are some other ways that you can put yourself out there and create your financial freedom blueprint? It is not difficult to do but I think a lot of people step into the fixed mindset versus the faith mindset. Don't keep telling yourself, “I'm not talented. I don't know how to start a side hustle.” No, flip it over to, “There are other people that have started a side hustle. I might not know exactly how to do it but I can figure it out.” Everything is figureoutable. Number one, make more money. Number two, what is the second simple way to jumpstart that financial freedom blueprint?

This is a hard one but that money that you're making, save it. When you rent out that bedroom for $600 a month, $700 a month, $800 a month, save that money. The big thing I always look at is renting out a bedroom. That $700 that you're getting per month, put it in a savings account. That additional $700, you could put a little bit more towards your mortgage. You could save a little bit more. Put it in a bank account and let it sit until it gets big enough to do our next step.

Financial Freedom: Make your money make more money.

Financial Freedom: Make your money make more money.

For all you lady boss out there, even those man bosses that maybe have an addiction to that flash sale at Nike, slow your roll because honestly, it's amazing when that money starts going out you wonder, “I saved all this money but then there was this flash sale.” You’ll put your head down and focus on, “This is my financial freedom number,” and don't look to the left or to the right. Don't raise your level of living. “Live like no one else now so that later you can live like no one else,” as Dave Ramsey says.

Gary Vee is another guy I like listening to and he says, “Eat dirt for two years so you can eat caviar for the rest of your life.”

Number three, what is the third way?

Once you save your money and get enough in that bank account, you want to make your money make money. My dad says it this way, “I look at all my money as little soldiers going out and conquering other little soldiers and bringing it back to me.” That's what you want to do. Make your money make more money.

That's called leverage. That's called residual income. That's called passive income. There are lots of different ways to put it out there. I started working for residual income a little over eleven years and honestly, that's given me the financial freedom. I was able to write a bestselling book. I was able to start a podcast. We got back from a cruise in the Caribbean. We were able to make more freedom lifestyle choices because we live like no one else way back when.

I want to give some practical steps because I'm big on don't give ideas but let's give practical steps. How do we make the money make more money? I bought a four-bedroom house. I rented out the other bedrooms and I took that money and saved. The next thing I did is buy a duplex. I couldn't quite buy it on my own. I bought it 50/50 with a buddy of mine in South Minneapolis. I started renting that out and we started cashflowing incredibly on that. After a year of having that duplex, I had enough money in my bottom line. I kept saving and I bought my own duplex in South Minneapolis as well. I'm in the process of flipping it but once that's all said and done, I'm going to have a really nice cashflow coming in from that duplex. That money could have been sitting in a savings account and collecting some interests. You're looking at 0.0001% interest or something like that. You're going to get paid $6 a year. I would rather put that money on a down payment on an investment property. My investment properties between the two of my duplexes, I'm cashflowing anywhere from $1,600 to $1,800 a month.

I've been doing real estate investing for over many years. I own five different pieces of real estate that are all cashflowing. It's made a huge difference as far as the income that's coming in. You can take that money and then buy more real estate. Why don't you extrapolate out what you put together when we were on the cruise and I asked what you were doing?

One of my goals is to go out to lunch with somebody who's more successful than me at least once a month. That means twelve people per year that are expanding my mind and everything. I sat down with one guy and he said, “You should have a ten-year plan. You should buy a house a year.” I started putting together the numbers of my ten-year plan. If I bought one house or one duplex a year, what would that look like? I started doing the numbers and I liked the numbers. They were great. I was like, “What if I push myself a little bit and start to buy two per year?” I'm running the numbers at two per year. Is that aggressive? Absolutely. I'd rather be aggressive than not aggressive enough.

You'd rather be too aggressive and not quite hit it versus not all aggressive and then you make all your goals. Is that what you're saying?

Yes.

Tell them what those numbers turned into.

If I buy two duplexes per year that are cashflowing like the duplexes I have, that ends up being a residual. This is after payments and everything. In ten years, I'll have a residual income of $350,000 per year coming in and that's after all expenses are paid and everything.

That's before you're 40 years old. Some people can live on $350,000 a year.

It's going to be tough to scrape by.

For real, that opened my eyes. That was a paradigm-shifting of what buying two duplexes a year could do, one duplex a year or even for the person that's like, “I don't even know if I can buy one house.” Figure it out of how to buy one house. It's incredible how that changes the trajectory of your financial future. I love your heart behind why you want to bring in that type of income. Even share with your real estate business, why you called it Mission Real Estate and what your heart behind making this income is?

I call myself the CEO of Mission Real Estate Group. I've got five people on my team. It's an awesome group. What Mission Real Estate Group does is 20% of all of our profits at the end of the year go to missions and organizations. I'm very faith-based. I love sports missions for the fact that you don't have to speak the same language as somebody but if you play sports with them, they're open to whatever you have to say. You can speak into somebody's life and tell them about Jesus. It's pretty awesome. As soon as you dunk a basketball, any kid wants to hear what you have to say, especially in other countries. That's one thing that I love. 20% of all of our profits go towards missions, organizations, and trips like that.

I am proud of what you've accomplished and the lives that you've impacted. You've helped people to create a true super strong stream of income within your team, but you're also teaching other people how to invest in real estate if they want to know more. That's when we started brainstorming on the cruise. What can we do to add more value to the person that says, “I don't want to keep trading hours for dollars. I don't want to keep being in the rat race of life. I want to step into living my best life?” We have created an event, which I’m pretty lit up about. It is June 22nd. It is The Boss Life Blueprint. It's going to be a day event. It's going to be out at my mom and dad's lake place and it is gorgeous. If you don't live close, we're actually going to be Zooming it in. If you guys know what Zoom is, it's like Skype where you can learn how to make your money work for you versus you continually working for your money. Helping people put together their financial freedom blueprint. If you are interested, send me a message at @LadyBoss_SP on Instagram. Send me your email address. I will put you on the waiting list and let you know when it goes live.

This is going to be fun because my dad is going to be sharing how he's been investing in real estate for so many years. My brother, myself and even like mindset type of training. It's amazing when you can get your mind in the right spot. You can surround yourself with like-minded people that want to do more. They want to be more. They want to live out that God-given potential. All bets are off on what you can accomplish. You are the combination of your five closest friends, the books that you read, the places that you go and the podcast that you listen to.

That's one reason why I want to go out to lunch, dinner, and coffee with at least one person per month that is more successful than me. There's nothing wrong with pouring out to people that are learning from you and stuff like that but you should be learning and you should be expanding your mind constantly.

There should be both sides to it. You do a lot of mentorships and you get mentored by a lot of people. Being two sides of that is so great. If you guys really enjoyed this episode and you want to hear more from Ben Peters, then let us know. I want to hear your feedback. Send me a message at @LadyBoss_SP on Instagram. I want to know was this helpful? If it was, screenshot this episode, tag me and write a review on iTunes. We have some pretty awesome giveaways coming down the pipelines. I'll give you shout-outs. We want to expand this community and add a ton of value to you so that you get on the road that you want to go on, that you step up. We want to help you every single step of the way. Remember, magic happens at the intersection of, “I believe in myself and I don't care what anyone else thinks.” That's what I see about you, Ben. You don't care what anyone else thinks. You add so much value to many people. I'm super excited about this. I am praying big blessings for the podcast. For all my audience, my challenge is for you to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Cheers to changing lives.

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About Ben Peters

I am the lead agent with Mission Real Estate Group. Being the son of a real estate investor, real estate has always been in my blood. From helping him flip homes, to rental managements, I got to know the ins and outs of the real estate process. Then right after college, I received my license. After several years of working a big brokerage model, I started Mission Real Estate Group. I wanted to get outside myself and make a difference both locally and abroad.

When I am not doing real estate or helping with missions projects, you can catch me enjoying MN lakes. Growing up on a lake, I 've learned to enjoy the water whenever I can (Summer and Winter). I'm very involved in my church, and also a workout fanatic. I think every day deserves a workout in one way or another. Lastly, I am a foodie. Enjoying breakfast, lunch or dinner at a local restaurant is one of my favorite things to do.

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Getting Rid Of Your Mental Clutter with Jennifer Ford Berry

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God put a huge purpose inside of each and every one of us. Sometimes it can be daunting to be asking ourselves what our purpose is or what are we put on this planet to do. However, as you keep taking that next best step, God is going to align it all together. Organizational expert and bestselling author Jennifer Ford Berry knew organizing was a gift where she could help a lot of women. She soon realizes her bigger purpose was empowering broken women and helping them see hope again. Jennifer believes that organizing physical clutter can also declutter the body, the mind, and the spirit, leading to clarity on what your bigger purpose is. Jennifer takes us into her background story from getting laid off from her job to taking that time frame, building on it, and getting crystal clear on where God wanted her to be.

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Listen to the podcast here:

Getting Rid Of Your Mental Clutter with Jennifer Ford Berry

I am so excited to bring my dear friend to the show. We met in a very fun way. Let me tell you a little bit about this powerhouse lady boss and entrepreneur. Jennifer Ford Berry is an organizational expert, bestselling author and the host of The 29 Minute Mom Podcast. She's a speaker and promoter of God's Plan. She has written five different books and she was previously the regular organizing expert on the TV show, Winging It! Buffalo Style. Now she is in a time and a place of jumping out in faith launching Jennifer Ford Berry Ministries and she is hitting on all cylinders. I'm so excited to be a part of her conference. She's going to be launching her first conference called Created Order. It's an organizing conference and it is going to be going on June 29th. For all those lady bosses out there that need a little bit more organization in their life and they need to get their crap together, let's go. Thank you so much, Jennifer, for taking time out of your busy schedule to connect with us and share your wisdom and knowledge with our audience.

This is going to be so fun and I look forward to talking with you.

We need to chat about how we connected. Do you want to share the story?

We were both asked to be in my friend, Terri Savelle Foy’s book launch, her team of people that helped to launch her newest book. Terri is somebody that has been a big mentor to me, close to my heart and has helped me out a lot. I remember being out of town and I came back into town. I was on Facebook. I was like, “I better check into Terri's book launch team,” and make sure I'm doing my share. I saw your profile pic or you comment on something and you commented with a picture of you and Terri. Terri was holding your book in her hand and I was laughing to myself. I was like, “That's so Terri promoting someone else's book.” It was funny because then I commented with a picture of me and Terri with my book at a conference earlier in the year. I thought this is cute. I noticed in my Facebook messenger that you had reached out to me when I was out of town. Then within a few minutes, we were like, “Let's talk now.”

As soon as I got on the phone with you, even before hearing the audio messages back and forth, I'm like, “This is my soul sister.”

That's what's cool because I feel like God puts people in your life when you're open to it for a reason. When you meet somebody and you get that feeling like you have so much in common or you have the same goals in mind or you have the same outlook, you know it's a divine appointment. That was definitely one for me.

I would love for you to share the story and the background of how you connected with Terri Savelle Foy. That's a pretty divinely guided appointment as well.

One of my good friends, she's like me. I can't get enough reading and podcasts and fuel your brain and all of that. We’re always sharing our favorite books and our favorite speakers and podcasts. She's like, “You’ve got to follow this girl, Terri Savelle Foy. She's good.” I started listening to her and I was like, “She's awesome.” Basically, why I loved her is because her initial start was as a success coach and she used her platform to build God's Kingdom by teaching it from a Christian standpoint. Then as the months went on, I started getting messages from other friends that were listening that said, “Terri is talking about you on her weekly video and on her podcast and even in some of her audio CDs that you can purchase.” I was like, “That's so funny.”

Organize Now!: A Week-by-Week Guide To Simplify Your Space and Your Life

Organize Now!: A Week-by-Week Guide To Simplify Your Space and Your Life

I remember even one of my friend’s teenagers was listening to Terri for time management. You need to fuel yourself so I had recommended it. He came downstairs one night and said, “Mom, is this our Jennifer Ford Berry that Terri's talking about?” They texted me like, “Terri's talking about you.” I was like, “This is funny.” He sent me the link and I listened to it and she was quoting things from my book, Organize Now! and how she loved the book. That when she decided to get into ministry, her first step was clearing all the clutter, getting organized and eliminating everything that wasn't a purpose in her life. I sent her an email and I said, “You’ve got to hear this. You are in ministry talking about organizing and coming up with a book about organizing. I might have already written books about organizing and I want to get into ministry.”

Here I thought it was cool that I was reaching out to her. She was like, “Jennifer Ford Berry, I’m so honored. I am such a huge fan of your books.” We were back and forth like you and me. I said, “We need to meet in person.” She lives in Texas, I live in New York and by the grace of God, she was going to be in Toronto one month later. It was only a two-and-a-half-hour drive for me. We drove to Toronto and she and I, and her team and mine, and even my daughter, we got to hang out all weekend. We had an absolute blast. It was so fun. We were at a conference up in Toronto. All the women were amazing and Terri was one of the keynotes. She knocked it out of the park. We had an absolute blast and she was so gracious to give me advice on starting a ministry because I had no idea what I was doing. Everything I start off like, “Yes, God.” Then I'm like, “All right, figure it out.” She let me even have access to her entire team. If you don't know Terri, I want to say she walks the walk. She's not just saying she's a cheerleader of people's dreams, she will cheerlead your dreams on a personal level too. I appreciate when people are truly who they claim to be.

There are so many pieces about that story that I absolutely have fallen in love with. With you, you listen to that still small voice from the get-go. You started writing books on organizing. It helped Terri to up-level her business, her life, her ministry and in turn she helps you. How cool is it? God puts people in your path for such a time as this where iron can truly sharpen iron, but sometimes we can be so nervous about reaching out to that specific person. Why not just give it a try? Add value to them and who knows where it will go. Some of my absolute best friends are people that I have met on social and it doesn't happen. I don't believe in happenstance. I believe in divinely guided, ordained encounters.

When you live life like that, it's so much more fun. If she has not even responded, it wasn't going to hurt me, but look what came up reaching out. I wouldn't even have met you if I hadn't reached out to her.

It's so cool about the ripple effect and thank you for sharing that. I want to dive in deep back to quite a few years ago when you got laid off from your job. You started to almost get in, I don't know if you'd call it freak out mode but like, “I better figure this out.” Why don't you take us back to where you were mentally at when you got laid off? Share with us your background story and how you took that timeframe and built on it and got crystal clear on where you knew that God wanted you to be.

I did what many of us do. I went to college and I had a specific plan in mind that I was going to get a business and marketing degree and I was going to work in Corporate America. At that point, my dream was to work in advertising or marketing and make a lot of money. I went to college at FAU in Boca and then shortly after I graduated, I moved to Charlotte, North Carolina. I worked for several corporations there and the last one I was working in was Clear Channel Radio and I was pregnant. I was working for Clear Channel Radio, 9/11 happened and within two months, I was laid off from my job because advertising took quite a step down. It wasn't a big priority for companies after that point. I was the low man on the totem pole and I had to go. At first I was like, “I'll stay home with my baby and get paid unemployment.” I thought that would be a great idea.

A few months into being a stay-at-home mom with a baby, I realized that that wasn't necessarily for me. I knew that I wanted to be home with her and have flexibility but not on a full-time basis. Corporate America is not going to be flexible for me at that point and I need to do something that I'm going to be able to have more time with her. After a few short years in Corporate America, I was starting to feel that feeling where I was not excited to wake-up. I felt like a hamster on a wheel and I was like in the middle of that movie Groundhog Day, where every day he wakes up and the same thing keeps happening. Deep down, I'm a dreamer. I believe anything's possible. I believe God can do anything. I thought, “Why did I set my life up this way? I can't do this for 20, 25 years.” I didn't feel like I was helping people. I didn't feel a sense of purpose. I didn't feel excited and I knew it. I knew that I was going to have to make a serious change.

I picked up this book called Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow. I had been on a serious spiritual journey because when I did first move to North Carolina, I had zero friends. I didn't have the distractions of all my friends in Florida and all my friends in New York. I had a lot of time by myself. I use that time to spend with God, which was a gift that I didn't know. If you get to a point in your life where you have the extra time, run with it because he was changing me and I didn't even realize it. Throughout that whole book, the author kept saying, what are you passionate about? I would have to answer a series of questions and it came down to the number one thing I kept saying was organizing. Here's the key, I kept trying to talk myself out of that answer because I didn't know other people doing it. It wasn't like I aspire to be a teacher and I had five friends in my life that were teachers and can tell me how to get there. I didn't know anybody organizing for a living.

After giving it a lot of prayers and a lot of thought I said, “This is my gift. It's something I've loved since I was five years old. It's something that God gave me as a gift and I'm going to say, “The heck with it, I'm going to try it. What do I have to lose?” I started a business and I started asking people if I could organize their closets for free. I started a little pathetic free newsletter called Free Weekly Organizing Tips where I gave people one thing to do to get organized every week. Little did I know that that would be the basis of my very first book. It grew from there.

I feel truly God has put a huge purpose inside of each and every one of us. Sometimes it can be daunting to be like, “What is my purpose? What am I put on this planet to do?” As you keep doing that next right best step, God is going to align it all together. It's cool that you're like, “I don't know exactly how this is going to play out, but I'm going to take that next best step.” I'd love for you to share what would be your top three tips for defining what your purpose is and how you would take action on them?

Here's the thing, that was the beginning of the bigger purpose, but sixteen years ago I knew my purpose was to help women. I knew that women needed help and I knew organizing was a gift where I could help them. Deep in my soul I didn't want to teach them how to have a perfectly organized closet. That didn't do enough for me. I love organizing a closet. I love still to this day working one-on-one with my clients. I absolutely love it, but I knew that my bigger purpose was empowering women. I even remember going to a local transitional house where women that had gotten out of abusive marriages were in hiding at this house in my town. I went to them and I said I want to teach an empowerment for women class. Those women were broken. They were hard to connect with because they were like, “Look at you, you didn't walk through my shoes, so how can you empower me?” I knew in my heart that I could, that I knew if I taught them about God that they could start to see hope again.

Even though I was organizing, when I would meet with my clients, I would try to talk about God here and there a little bit, but I wasn't as bold about it as I am now back then. I knew deep down that if I could remove the clutter from their lives, they would start seeing their life as a more potential. Quite honestly, I thought it felt then and I still do that I can see people's potential more than they can see it themselves. I was clearing clutter on the outside but deep down I was like, I want to get this girl to a higher level. They might not even realize they're going there, but they are going.

Mental Clutter: You have to fuel yourself if you want to follow a purpose because you are going to get off track all the time.

Mental Clutter: You have to fuel yourself if you want to follow a purpose because you are going to get off track all the time.

When you're asking yourself like, “What is my purpose?” Think about what are those words that resonate with you. For you, you got lit up when you help people to clear that clutter and you breathe that life and belief into them. You spoke the truth in love through God's word to them and taking them to that next level. That's good food for thought, getting still and quiet. What are those things that resonate with you and set your soul on fire? That’s so important.

The other part is you have to fuel yourself if you want to follow a purpose because you are going to get off track all the time. People are going to talk you out of your dream. Satan's going to come in and try to talk you out of your dream and you have to protect your mind. One of the things too to answer your question is that I'm very specific about who I hang out with, what I read, what I watch, what I listened to. My husband picks on me all the time. We'll put on a movie and I'll be like, “Nope, I can't do it.” He's like, “It's not uplifting enough?” If it's not going to lift me up, why would I waste my time?

We connect on so many levels. I literally will walk out of the movie, even my guy friends and girlfriends, they roll their eyes. I'm like, “I can't handle it. I'm so ADD.” They're like, “Is it not inspirational enough?” I'm like, “Shut up.”

Time is very precious and I know I have a little of it so I want to use it wisely. That is one thing you can do, you should pull yourself by how you're using your time.

On the way to you building the empire that you have built, let's say you would go back to two years in your business. What would be one of your best pieces of advice that you would give yourself two years into building your business?

People think that if you make a mistake or you don't get it right the first time, it's probably not supposed to be or it wasn't for you or who are you, “Who do you think you are doing this?” If I could go back and tell myself every mistake I made, I learned so much more than the things I got right. I would tell myself to relax because it's the journey that is growing me in building the character to keep increasing to levels of success. Basically, the way I look at it is God started me out in saying yes to organizing and that got me in the door for my even bigger purpose where I am now. All those little things that happened, he was building the character that I needed to do that. If I had skipped all the middle to where I am now, I wouldn't have the right character. I would fail, I would not be successful because I wouldn't have that inside lessons and priorities and characteristics that he needed to build within me. The whole entire journey is as important as getting to that finish line that you think that you need to get to it. Once you're at that finish line, there's another one waiting for you. As long as you're breathing, you're going to want to keep going. All of it is super important and I would have told myself to not get hung up on the things that I thought I screwed up.

Not letting the failures hold you back from your success because you need to build on those failures because if you don't have them, good luck. You're not going to end at that point.

God is looking for perseverance. Every time things get hard, that's when you have to persevere. That's the difference between people that are going to fall down and not get back up. Once you start having to face that, you realized, “If I can do this, I can do anything.”

That does separate the good from the great. When things are going great and things are exploding on all levels, how much does it take to power through those types of circumstances? Not so much but when all the chips are down and you're like, “Is this what I'm supposed to be doing or where I'm supposed to be going?” It's like putting on your boss boots and say, “Nope, this is the time that separates the men from the boys or the lady bosses from the girls.” I want to talk to you a little bit about what we were chatting about earlier before about how mental clutter can screw you up and how you can get past that. Maybe even some different situations of how you've helped even some of your coaching clients to get past that mental clutter so they can boss up.

You hear a podcast, it could be a book, it could be a conference you attend and in theory you're like, “I want to do this. I want to live this life. I want to be like this person. I want to be successful and I'm going to do it.” Then a lot of life circumstances happen. A voice comes into your head and says, “You're not good enough to do this. Who do you think you are?” You're doing too much comparing and you're on social media and you're like, “I want to be like this person but they have it all figured out. They are so much smarter than me, they have the right connections.” Let me tell you, they don't. They're like you. They have figured it out as they've gone. You have all these things that come in and I call it mental clutter where it's almost like the same stuff. It's in your mind even including ideas and thoughts. If they're not organized correctly, then that becomes more clutter and you have all these ideas but you're not taking action.

Mental Clutter: A lot of clearing away physical clutter takes energy from you and adds to the mental clutter.

Mental Clutter: A lot of clearing away physical clutter takes energy from you and adds to the mental clutter.

What's happened with a lot of people that I've coached is the one thing that's different between them and everybody else is that they contacted me and they have been intentional. They made a commitment to make a change in their life. The only reason that they changed compared to other people is that they have an accountability partner that is not going to let them quit. On those days when they want to quit, which is all the time, they don't because they have me saying, “No, you're not quitting.” It's basically the same as what you do or if we went to a gym with a trainer. You would not want to show up for the training session because you feel like, “I'm tired or I did this last night. I was out too late.” The trainer is like, “No, you're exercising.” It's the same thing.

I've seen people that have come out of whether it's bad divorces or even bad childhoods, parents that didn't cheer them on. It does matter. I've had a lot of clients have somebody in their life that broke them down and we had to rebuild them. That comes into a lot of personal coaching, a lot of fueling yourself with the right message. A lot of clearing away physical clutter that takes energy from you and adds to the mental clutter. A lot of planning and vision and I've seen people transform their lives when they handle all types of clutter in their life. They've transformed and then they start making their dreams come true, but they couldn't do it before because the clutter was blocking them and they couldn't get past it whether it be physical or mental.

That physical, mental, emotional clutter can hold you back from where God is calling you to go. Even forgiveness is a huge component that can be a lot of clutter inside your soul.

Bitterness is a perfect example of clutter. I love that you pointed that out.

I am super excited about diving into your books. I’ve even thought about other small ways or big ways of how to up-level your organization skills, how to get rid of the clutter in your mind, inside your soul, even devotions can be a huge component to that. Blessing and releasing what's happened in the past and moving forward.

Shortly after I met with Terri and we met face-to-face, I came home and I said to myself, “Am I going to be serious about creating this ministry?” I was scared. I had mental clutter. I had those thoughts that said, “You're not an ordained minister. You didn't grow up with a preacher father,” and all these people that Terri had, that you see they went a certain way. Finally, one day I heard a sermon from Cynthia Brazelton. She said something about making the decision and it said in this, I'll never forget, “When you make the decision, then God knows you're serious about moving forward.” At that point I said, “I'm doing this. I have no idea how but I'm doing this.” I don't even know how to create a 501(c)3. There was a 27-page application for that that was printed on my desk. I was like, “I guess I'm going to have to make time in my schedule to get it done. I'm going to pick away at it like bite-sized pieces for a big goal.”

As soon as I made the decision, things started coming my way and that God was saying, “Here I am to help you.” One of them was that I had mentioned to my lawyer, “Do you know anybody that deals with nonprofits?” He was like, “I believe in you and because I believe in you, I'm going to do this for you for free.” That happened the next day that I made the decision. What's cool is when I had the decision made and I knew that God gave me that little like, “You made the right decision. Here you go.” I'm an organizer. I live an organized life. I went into my office and I took out everything that had nothing to do with the next level. Whatever was going to have something to do with Jennifer Ford Berry Ministries, I kept. If it didn't, it went. I don't care if it was old research, I don't care if it was old notes from books I've written. I don't care if it was old presentations. I said, “From now on, I'm using my platform for God and it's going to look like this. If it doesn't look like that, it's going.” That was the best because that helped me narrow in and focus on my goal. For me, clutter does distract me and I need to work in a simple environment. I feel like that was a step that I needed to take for myself to say, “I'm serious and I'm going to remove anything that could be a possible distraction.”

Even Terri Savelle Foy, she talks about the number one thing holding you back from your dream is the how. Forget about the how, get solidified on the why. Decide, get crystal clear on it and then start executing in the right people show up because your heart's in the right spot.

One of my friends is coming to the conference down in Charlotte to talk about your why. I've heard her speak before about it. It's like as soon as you know your why, you know what way you're pointing to your car and why you're going there and everything else falls into place. Then it helps you with time management and distractions because you're like, “Is that part of my why? Yes or no?” If it's a no, let it go.

With you being so organized, what is your morning routine?

It's very similar to what you've probably heard before that it's like if you want to become successful, you have to do what successful people do and you have to study that. I've done all that and so my morning routine is get up and do some exercise. I shoot for 30 minutes. I've learned that I'm not the type of person that can say, “I'm going to work out for one hour for three days a week.” That's not going to happen. First of all, I don't want to work out for an hour. I wish I was that person, but I'm not. I feel like when I say three days a week, it gives me days to skip. It gives me an excuse, “I only have to do this for three days a week, so if I don't do it now, I'll do it tomorrow.”

I've learned that about myself. I have to do something every single day and that has to be it. At first, it was hard and I kept getting frustrated like, “Why can’t I stick with this?” I always say, “Fake it until you make it.” Even though I wouldn't even do a great workout, at least I was doing something and then it got better from there. Nine times out of ten, I spend time doing my devotional, reading the Word reading, some God-based book. If there's a day where I can't do that because I'm in a super big hurry, barely getting the kids off to school and then to an appointment. I always listened to God's word in the car. I drive a lot so I always listened to podcasts, audio CDs are my best friend. I feel like I've gotten an extra college degree from that. Every day, reading devotion, quick prayer of gratitude when I first wake up to and then exercising and I also add in my coffee and lots of water.

Mental Clutter: There are things that are not letting us completely be ourselves because we’re afraid of offending certain people.

Mental Clutter: There are things that are not letting us completely be ourselves because we’re afraid of offending certain people.

I want to hear how you got inspired to start this conference. What is so interesting as entrepreneurs, we get to a point where things are hitting great on all cylinders but then this divinely-guided idea drops into our head and then we start executing it. You could have been fine going without the conference with your ministries. There are tons of other things on your plate, but why a conference and why now?

First of all, back to saying I could have gone on the way I was. The last book I published, I remember my publisher saying like, “We're going to take a little bit of the Christianity out of your book because your book is sold overseas and we don't want to offend anybody.” I was like, “That's not how I wrote it.” Even to the point, I will share this inside secret, the last book was supposed to be called Organize Now! Your Body, Mind, and Spirit. They changed the name of the book to Organize Now! Think and Live Clutter Free. That even bothered me because I wanted the word spirit in there. I felt like the book was all about decluttering your body, your mind and your spirit and right then was a red flag, something's got to change. I built this brand in a certain way, but in my soul it doesn't feel right. I knew God was saying, “Come with me 100%,” and that was scary. To leave a publisher that I had been with for years and years and a solid paycheck, I knew it was a big leap of faith. I said, “God, you're my partner now.” I can't even tell you, we could go on for hours, how much change last year for me when I said that I was going to do this.

I have another business that my partner for twelve years decided to step down, which meant I was going to have a lot more on my plate. She didn't like the business anymore and it was a negative energy on me. I prayed and prayed about it, she wants us to sell. I knew God said, “You've created a good thing that helps people, why give it up?” It ended up becoming even bigger this year by myself because of having God be my partner. At the same year, I lost my business partner and I also divorced my publisher. That was crazy. It was major changes and I had days where I was like, “God, you're decluttering my life, aren't you? You are stripping me down.” I'm not a person that is attached to things, I'm attached to people big time. I was super attached to my business partner. I was super attached to my publisher. There were even people in my life that I was super attached to and God kept plucking it out and saying, “Nope.” I had a hard time. Now, I can see why because there were things that I was not letting myself completely be me because I was afraid of offending certain people like with the situation with the publisher. We're afraid of offending people that aren't believers. I got to a point where I was like, “I can't be everything for everybody. I can only be what I feel called to be.”

When I decided to do the conference, I had a long gap where I was like, “I want to do this.” It wasn't all coming into play until that day I spoke of where I made that decision. The conference has been something that I thought of for a long time and never did until I made that decision to start Jennifer Ford Berry Ministries. I felt like I was going to have to step out in faith. I wasn't going to have the answers. Me, the organizer was going to have to let it play out. I was going to have to put my trust in God. I was like, “If this is what you're saying to do, then you will prove me right.” It's a huge leap of faith to start a conference. I decided to do it in Charlotte because we did live there. My daughter was born there. She wants to go back on a regular basis. We have lots of family and friends there, business connections.

For me, what it represents is the full circle that I remember in that little house in Belmont, North Carolina with my daughter as a baby, sixteen years ago. Having a dream and reading that book and saying yes. I had no idea what kind of ride I was in for. Now, the fact that He's like, “Start this conference.” I even learned at that point, don't even name it yourself because I love a good brainstorming session for marketing. I love names and I love all that stuff. I had to even stop myself and not name it and I would read the Bible and I'd be like, “God, I need you to give me a name.” It would be weeks and weeks. One day, I was like, “My timeline is this and this and we got to start rolling this out. I could use the name right now. I need to name the book.” They were like, “Jennifer, what are you calling this conference?” I said, “I don't know. I'm waiting on God.” The lady that worked for me, she emailed me back and she goes, “I love this.” One day I was like, “The name came. He told me exactly what it was.” I would never have thought the words Created Order myself. I wouldn't have. I had a list of brainstorming names and none of them were even close to that. When I did the research on what that meant, he showed me why he gave me that name. I want to encourage people, it's okay to take time and listen because if you are focused on hearing Him, He will end up giving you a better answer than you would have ever come up with it yourself.

I’m glad you shared that story because I remember getting my big event together for my book launch, not having done anything to that extent and wanting it to be the best of the best. I remember putting together this PowerPoint and I've got my plan and I work this plan. It's going to be like a mic drop type. It's going to be amazing. I literally, within three days of the book launch, I remember telling my organizer, “This is crazy but this is not the message that I'm supposed to share.” I struggled with God. I had a conversation. I remember hearing deep inside my spirit that, “Nope, you're not supposed to do this PowerPoint.” I'm like, “No, I am because this is going to be amazing.” He's like, “Do you want to have it be your words or mine?” I'm like, “Mine.” I was like, “Nope, this is not the reason I'm putting on this conference,” like, “Stef, get out of your own way.” I remember not being very well put together, but those were the words that I was supposed to share at that time. There were so many women that came up to me afterward and they're like, “That was not your normal Stefanie Peters speech.”

That's what's so cool because it's even bigger and better than I could have done. The thing is God kept whispering these words to me called purpose over possessions. It ends up that I'm finishing up a book called that. We talked about using your event to launch your book. That end up being part of the planning. I never thought of that the Created Order Conference will launch the next book, Purpose Over Possessions. That's the actual theme for the conference. With this society, people have realized that all this stuff is not making them any happier. The possessions that they had, I call it the Target Five-Minute High, where you buy something at Target and you're like, “I'm so excited,” the whole way home. It’s like, “Find that item a month from now or six months from now and tell me if you still get that rush of joy and excitement,” probably not. A thing could never give you the joy and excitement that you have when you're living your purpose. It's not possible. You know, like I do, after working and working at this, that when you know your purpose, you wake up every single day excited. Your work is not even work because you love every second of it.

I want that for as many people as possible. I feel like working one-on-one with people and coaching people, in that way I can only help one person at a time but at a conference, I can help so many people at once. I want these people to come to the conference and be so ignited that they know, not only that they have a purpose, what the purpose is, but they have a specific plan of how they're going to live it every single day. They know exactly how to organize their life around it and how to clear all the clutter and how to manage their time. We're creating an online private community so that they have each other like you talked about with the tribe. Where they can stay accountable and they can have people cheering them on because they're going to have hard days. I know they'll leave super pumped, but what about those days when Satan soups in us like, “You can't do this.” All of us are going to be behind you like, “Yes, you can. Don't listen.” That's why I want to bring as many like-minded people together to take on and to help build what he wants to be built here. There's no better rush. There isn’t.

Mental Clutter: You can't lead other people unless you're sure of where God is leading you.

Mental Clutter: You can't lead other people unless you're sure of where God is leading you.

I cannot wait to be a part of that conference and be able to speak life into the women. Take it all in and have my tribe come and experience that. I truly think that mental clutter and all the other things that clutter life can hold us back from where God is calling us to, so we can strip away the layers. All bets are off on what we can accomplish for the kingdom. Thank you for stepping out in faith and doing this. I cannot wait. Two last questions. Number one, if someone met you and said, “Jennifer, I want to be able to become the boss of my own life and call the shots. What's my first step?”

Your first step is to start spending at least fifteen minutes every single day with God. You aren't going to know what you're called to do if you aren't listening and you aren't taking time to check in with yourself. I feel like that's the first step. When you’ve got your answer, I'm going to go and say the next step would be clear everything that is clutter that is distracting you from that.

What is your definition of a boss?

A boss is somebody that does things the way their soul calls them to do, regardless of what other people think. I also think that you can't lead other people unless you're sure of where God is leading you. As a boss, you need to be an example of that. You need to live that every single day so that others around you are seeing it because if you're doing it for yourself, you're not going to influence anybody. Then how is the kingdom going to grow from there?

Why don't you share with all of our beautiful friends that have joined us, where they can connect with you, where they can follow you? I know they will want to connect with the beautiful Jennifer Ford Berry.

They can find me on my website, JenniferFordBerry.com. If you want to find out about the conference, if you want to find out about the podcast, the books, it's all on there. I'm also on Instagram, @JenniferFordBerry and Facebook, @JenniferFordBerry, so it's pretty simple. I'm on Pinterest, I'm under Organize Now, which is the name of my book series. If you want more information or you want to share what you thought about, then reach out to me because I love connecting with other women.

She is the real deal. I totally connected with her on so many different levels when we first started chatting. You are going to be so blessed by her ministry, all of her different products and podcasts. Go check it out. As all of you ladies and men bosses know, my challenge to you is to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Until next time, let's get after it and do what God has called us to do. Be blessed.

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About Jennifer Ford Berry

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Jennifer Ford Berry is an organizational expert, best selling author of the series: Organize Now!, host of The 29 Minute Mom podcast, national speaker and promoter of God’s plan. Jennifer was previously the regular organizing expert on the TV show: Winging It, Buffalo Style. Jennifer has been a guest on numerous television and radio shows. She has also been featured in many national magazines and newspapers. She is an animated speaker who has presented to the Learning Annex, corporations, churches, national conferences, mom groups and school districts. She is also the founder of Created Order Organizing Conference and the Blurry Conference. Jennifer currently resides in Western New York where she continues to work hands-on with her clients helping them to eliminate clutter and live their dreams.

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Exploring The Power Of The Human Spirit with Kristen Aldridge

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With the right mindset, will, and desire, anything is possible. Emmy-winning journalist Kristen Aldridge has worked all over the world as TV host, anchor, reporter, producer and content creator. As co-founder and CEO of Luminate, a digital media platform and global community connecting luminaries, leaders and influencers shining a light on the way we work, lead, live, and love, Kristen knows the challenges that come with building a business from the ground up. With a passion for capturing compelling stories that ignite inspiration and create powerful change, Aldridge created the original web series Project Luminary to explore the power of the human spirit and what it takes to achieve the extraordinary one big bold dream at a time. Kristen shares her backstory and talks about following our purpose and passion and bouncing back every time life throws us lemons.

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Listen to the podcast here:

Exploring The Power Of The Human Spirit with Kristen Aldridge

I am so excited about us connecting with Kristen Aldridge. This girl knows how to make it happen in business and in life. Let me just give you a little bit of a rundown on her bio. This lady boss has worked all over the world as a journalist, TV host, anchor, producer and content creator for the likes of ABC, CBS, Yahoo, CNN, E! News, Shape Magazine and ESPN to name a few. With years of experience in live TV covering a wide variety of genres such as news, business, entertainment, lifestyle, sports and social media, she has been awarded an Emmy, a Davey and five Tally Awards. She’s also covered just about every star-studded event including the Golden Globes, the Grammys, the Emmys and the Oscars where she had the honor of being the co-host for the National Red Carpet preshow on ABC.

If someone can get there by the age of 80, they’re doing well but she did that before she hit 40. She’s still a young lady boss. What’s so neat is with a passion for capturing compelling stories that ignite inspiration and create a powerful change, Kristen is currently co-founder and CEO of Luminate, a digital media platform and global community of luminaries, leaders, and influencers shining a light on the way we work, lead and live and love. She’s also the creator, director and producer and host of Project Luminary, a new original series in partnership with Entrepreneur.com and Facebook Watch. It explores the power of the human spirit and what it takes to achieve the extraordinary. The first part of what I just shared with you is through the roof mind blowing but she doesn’t stop there. She keeps building on the successes that she’s had. The thing that resonates the most with me is her backstory and her bounce back. Her grit to power forward when life has handed her some stuff.

Kristen, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you be a part of this. Thank you for jumping on.

Thank you. It’s such an honor to be on with you. I absolutely love and adore all the positivity and amazingness you are putting out into the world. It’s funny because with all these years in broadcasting and as a journalist, I’m used to telling other people’s stories. I’m very much a newbie to being on this side of the mic but I’m so grateful for you because it’s really given me an opportunity to do some serious self-reflecting on the journey.

I’m excited to dig into your story. I might not be the pro like you but I’m working on it. I’ve been thinking about inviting you on the podcast for the longest time. The thing that broke the camel’s back was the last post that you posted on Instagram of sharing your backstory. The way that I’ve heard it said before is people are inspired by your success but they are impacted by your failures. You’ve got to share your story. I can’t hold this thing anymore.

I 1,000% agree with you and social media can be a whole another topic but I’ve really been trying to put out more of that raw and vulnerable stuff because that’s what people need to hear. That’s what connects us and we all go through it as humans in search of our purpose and our destiny. Thank you for saying that. I’m seriously so grateful that it resonated with you. I always had that entrepreneurial spirit really early on. My parents are entrepreneurs. They’ve been married for 45 years. When I was little, I watched my dad leave his full-time job to start his own dream of starting his own plumbing company and my mom joined him. I think secretly they wanted me to eventually take over the plumbing company but I had other dreams on my mind.

Since I was twelve years old, I just had this love for pop culture. I loved movies and film and television, art and fashion. Ultimately, what it came down to is storytelling, creativity. One day, I saw Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight and I was like, “That seems so amazing and so glamorous. I want to be an entertainment journalist.” It’s all I had on my mind growing up. Embarrassingly enough to admit, I used to use a hairbrush as a microphone and pretend like there were celebrities in my living room. Hoping that one day I could one time be at the Oscars. I ended up majoring in broadcast journalism at a local school in Minnesota, the University of St. Thomas. It’s an amazing school but it’s also really expensive. I was working three jobs just to afford it.

When you’re taking college, you have to take all these years of generals before you can even touch the classes you really want to take, which for me was broadcast journalism. When I was twenty, I said, “I’m ready to go to Hollywood. I’m going to do it.” I told my mom and dad. Thank God that they are so cool and they let me go. I grab my dad’s pickup truck and at twenty years old, I made the move out there. I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t have any connections. I had no money and nothing on my resume. I just knew that I really wanted to try to make this dream happen. I did what every starving artist does when they get to Hollywood. I got a waitressing job. I worked at the Elephant Bar in Burbank while I tried to go on auditions during the day.

What I quickly learned is that as an aspiring TV host, in order to go on auditions, you really need an agent. The catch-22 was in order to get an agent, you had to have booked a few jobs. How can I get an agent if I haven’t booked any jobs? Ignorance is total bliss at the time. I used to send my materials to all the biggest agencies anyways because I thought why not. I quickly learned that the three big agencies were CAA, ICM and William Morris. They were the ones that represented the who’s who of Hollywood. It’s so embarrassing. I had two credits. It was a foot scrub infomercial and a Ducktails & Bobbysox high school extra on my resume. I send that in and of course, I’d get these little generic photocopied letters back in the mail saying, “Thanks but no thanks, we’re not looking for clients at this time,” which means your submission is in the trash.

The reason I’m telling you this is because a remarkable thing happened later in my story that will all make sense. Essentially, it was just countless years of rejection. There were so many noes and so much rejection. I did a ton of stuff for free just trying to really learn about how the business worked and how I could get better. I had very little progress at that time in my career and then personally I was really going through some tough stuff. A relationship that I had at the time that started out as very loving just ended badly. It was one of those relationships that it was so hard to leave but you knew you had to. I won’t say too much about it because I’m really healed from it, but essentially it ended with two cops in the doorway helping me get my things out. I had to go back to Minnesota and I found myself living with my parents at 28 years old with $100,000 in debt because I was essentially living off my credit cards.

The Power Of The Human Spirit: The beauty of being at rock bottom is knowing that the only way you can go is up.

The Power Of The Human Spirit: The beauty of being at rock bottom is knowing that the only way you can go is up.

It was total rock bottom wondering what am I going to do with my life and how did I get here? The beauty of being at rock bottom is knowing that the only way you can go is up. It was a really dark time but it also was a really beautiful time because I knew that I had nothing to lose at that point. If there’s one thing my parents taught me it’s really the value of hard work. After months of soul-searching and really trying to get back on my feet, I threw myself into work. I decided all those years out trying Hollywood for the first time in my twenties, no one ever really gave me a chance at my dreams so I’m going to create it myself.

With whatever little money I have left out my credit cards, which was basically nothing, I started a website called Positively Celebrity. It was essentially a positive take on celebrity news. I branded it really big and I got all these contributors that could write for me and on the outside, it looked like this really amazing big brand. No one knew that its very founder was at home living with her parents literally dying inside every day because I was depressed and didn’t know how I was going to make ends meet. I’ll never forget the site yet hadn’t monetized. I was now barely able to make my minimum payments on the credit cards anymore and debt collectors were calling every day. I’ll never forget the phone rang. I’m thinking it’s another debt collector and it was a 3310 number. I was like, “That’s Los Angeles. How can this be?”

I picked it up and that’s when you know that you are always divinely guided. It was an agent from one of the biggest agencies that I’ve sent a package to more than probably two years before. He said, “I’ve held onto your package all this time. I’ve seen what you created with Positively Celebrity. I sent all of your things into Yahoo. They want to build a show around you. Can you come out and meet with us on Monday?” It’s something that I had sent so long ago that someone held onto for that long time. When I was literally in my darkest time and needed someone to help lift me out of it, it could not have come at a better time.

I didn’t have a car at the time so I had to rent some crappy car. Pulling into this agency, it was no surprise. I’m pulling in and super embarrassed. How do I even get here? P. Diddy or Puff Daddy, whatever his name is, was pulling up his entourage at the same time. He has some crazy awesome car parked beside this beat-up rental. It just was this magical lesson to always just trust the faith and never give up. The long story short, I essentially met with the agents. Yahoo loved everything we were doing and I ended up hosting a show for Yahoo. It became eventually the most watched show on the Web.

We had over 700 million streams. I was able to pay off my debt. That relationship lasted four amazing years. Then from there, I was able to just work for a lot of other national networks. I covered the Oscars multiple times, which is a childhood dream. It was one really hard right but an incredible journey and a huge reminder that you are always where you need to be even though sometimes it’s really hard to accept that. I look back at my journey and I’m super thankful for it all because it led me where I am now and taught me so many lessons.

I had no idea of your backstory. I just read your Instagram post. There are so many things that I want to cover in that story. I think one of the things that I really pulled out of that is you are always being divinely guided. It’s never ever happening to you, but for you. I think the thing that really just struck a chord is you kept planting all these seeds and you’re like, “What gives. I’m living with my parents in their basement.” God was preparing you step by step. Every time you kept sending something out, it was preparing you. If you wouldn’t have had that rock-bottom moment, you wouldn’t have had all that time to prepare, would you have had the success that you did once you got your break? I don’t know.

The biggest thing that resonates with me too is I think it’s really magical when you finally choose yourself. It was so many years of just waiting for someone else to pick me and to prove, “Am I talented enough? Am I good enough? Am I worthy enough?” It was this big evolution when I finally decided to stop waiting for everyone else and just do it. If I had to do it myself, then that’s what I was going to do. It’s amazing what happens when you just put your destiny into your own hands and just create whatever it is that you want to create without waiting for anyone else.

To really grab that pen, write your own story give yourself your own permission slip and that’s what you did. I think what’s really neat is you decided to jump out in faith maybe not even knowing exactly what you were doing but you took the resources that you had in your hand and you gave it everything you got. I think that’s a huge testament of put one foot in front of the other, walking by faith and not by sight and just what can happen with that. Then once you started that company and then things exploded on another level and you just start to get success on so many different levels and you got to LA. You really start to hit big and you start to have success, what made you even transition over into starting a media company? You are at a pretty sweet spot right there. Let’s call a spade a spade.

That’s such a loaded but important question. It really revolves around this concept of what you do doesn’t define who you are. What I mean by that is I always found throughout my journey that when I had a job, I was okay. I was like, “I got this. I worked for so-and-so and I’m feeling good.” There was a lot of months between projects where I wasn’t working. That was when all of a sudden, all this anxiety would hit and it would be like here’s every night wondering, “Am I good enough? They’re going to find out I’m really not that talented. Is that the last job I’m going to ever get?” It’s just crippling anxiety and fear and feelings of not worthy. It literally took me twenty years to realize it and it’s still a struggle. What we touched on earlier is as humans, at the end of the day, we are all connected and we want to feel loved and we want to feel we’re worthy of love. Unfortunately, with our society, our job title is often what makes us feel like we are worthy. We’re accomplished. We’ve achieved all of these things, so therefore I should be seen and I should be accepted.

I just really had a dial back and look at the fact that we are all powerful without all of that stuff. We’re powerful just as we are. It was trying to remember who I really was rather than this identity I had created of only when I was working for this big network was I worthy. I was talented with or without that validation. It’s like always validation. If I get this person to fund my company or if I have this many followers on social media or if I’m working for this person, that means that I’m worthy of love and I’m talented. Honestly, it came to a point where I had almost stripped myself out of all those titles to really do the deep work. Essentially what happened is all of the jobs I’m so grateful for and it had been a great journey, I always just felt this little nagging thing that I wasn’t fully following my purpose and then I had a lot more to contribute. You know what happened even with entertainment. Eventually, it seemed super glamorous at first but talking about Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber, when you get past the age of 30, it’s like, “What am I doing? There is more to life than this.”

The Power Of The Human Spirit: Do not be afraid of going slowly. Be afraid of standing still.

The Power Of The Human Spirit: Do not be afraid of going slowly. Be afraid of standing still.

I went in the hard news because I thought talking about all the politics and these big issues would really fulfill me. What I soon learned with that is that it’s a lot of negative news and there is no more of a divisive time in media and the climate out there than right now. That was really a struggle. One thing that I always loved is just telling more positive stories. I realized that waiting for someone to give me the opportunity to tell more positive stories just wasn’t going to happen. I was one year into a three-year contract at a huge network. I loved everyone there and I recognized it was an unbelievable opportunity. My soul was really just bringing out that I had work to do. I left that network. When you’re facing a period of reinvention, it’s really freaking hard because before you can reinvent yourself into the next iteration, not only does it take a lot of work but you go through periods where you’re not that good at it yet. Sometimes you feel like imposter syndrome. It’s like you’re a little bit of a fraud because it’s like how can I claim that I’m this new expert at something when I really have no idea what I’m doing?

With that, I was really reminded of the Chinese proverb that I love so much, “Be not afraid of going slowly. Be only afraid of standing still.” I knew that even if it was going to take a year and a half to figure out what my true purpose was and then go and build that, that’s okay. At least I was moving forward. Essentially, what happened is my husband that I had met when I was living back in Minnesota after the bad breakup, which again is another lesson and divinely guided, I was exactly where I needed to be. He is amazing, Seth Mattison. He is a speaker and he speaks a lot on leadership and the future of work and speaks to thousands of people every week. He was looking to start a community where he could bring all of these amazing people that he speaks to into an online community.

Me with my background in journalism and content creation and producing and writing and all that good stuff, I knew that I wanted to tell positive stories. That’s when this media platform Luminate was born. Luminate, our logo is a flame, which is also an L for Luminate but our tagline is, “Ignite the light within.” Initially, it was so hard for me building the site as one of the founders because the site is mostly an inspirational media platform where we’ve got articles on how to live a luminated life. Here I was as the founder behind the scenes still figuring all that out and I was needing the articles just as much as I thought our readers would need them.

In the process of building this platform, I really found my own light, which is such a beautiful thing of this transformation and reinventing. We launched our beta, which is a lot to get it out there. We’ve got all sorts of written content around just really ideals of business and branding and teamwork and time-management. We also touch on a lot of well-being topics like mindfulness and meditation and spirituality. We’ve got over 50 contributors. We’ve got Mel Robbins, Adam Grant and Marshall Goldsmith, which I’m huge fans of that are contributing articles. We have video content. It really is just inspirational content that we hope that if we’re even impacting one person, we know that what we’re doing is what we should be doing. That’s what I’ve tried to focus on in the journey. We’re super excited to have it out but it’s been a really hard process. Any entrepreneur knows you’re in a constant state of beta and you’re always iterating and sometimes you’re like, “This is awesome,” but most times you’re thinking, “I just want to quit.”

I have to say, I absolutely love your transparency and your authenticity through the journey. Like you said like on social media, it looks like daisies and rainbows and unicorns but you peel back the layers and see it’s hard work. It’s not always as it appears. I think it’s so courageous that you said, “I love what I do in the space of media but I know that there’s something else that’s knocking on the door of my heart. If I don’t answer that, it’s going to continue to get louder.” I know even for me there was a time in my career where on paper everything looked absolutely phenomenal. Financially, I was in a great place. My business was exploding. There were so many great things going in an incredible direction and I loved it.

I didn’t want to throw it away by any means but I knew that was a piece to my puzzle. It wasn’t the whole puzzle. My soul was calling to up-level and to do different things that would make an impact in the community on another level. It was so hard to shift into that place and pivot. To continually keep that thing going, but I will tell you when you listen to that still small voice, even that slow progress is way better than no progress. It’s amazing how when you keep being consistent in that zone of genius even when it doesn’t feel like that zone of genius, things start to come together.

Thank you for stepping up to the plate. I know that startups are not easy but you already know this but you won’t even know the lives that you’re touching that are watching those things. There are so many times in media where you’re so right. It’s so negative and it’s always pulled in that type of direction. The more that we can have that positive outlook and putting that inspiration into the world, that has a ripple effect and you have no idea the lives that you are changing, Kristen. Thank you for answering the call.

What I think is amazing about your story is it’s one thing to reinvent yourself and pull yourself towards something when you’re at rock bottom. It’s like you’re only forced to do that, but to leave something that is going really well and you’re rocking it, that’s even harder. I feel like it really speaks to getting out of your comfort zone. When you feel safe and good, that’s when you know it’s time to shake things up. That’s when it’s also hard because you know being uncomfortable really sucks but that’s the only way we grow.

I even remember having a conversation in the car with my brother and I’m like, “Ben, I have been in a success coma for three years and I am in a really good place. I’m not in that great place where I know God wants me to be.” As much as I’m scared to up-level, I know that you know God is not going to say, “Well done my good and faithful servant on the things that you did.” He’s going to keep you accountable for what he called you to do. You have to get to that point of, “I don’t want to just do what the mainstream tells me to do. I need to do what God wants me to do.” I think we’re in a very similar spot of you just have to push yourself out of that comfort zone no matter if you’re at rock bottom or if you’re in an amazing place. Otherwise, I don’t want to get to the pearly gates and be like, “This is what I wanted you to do. You were a great doctor but I didn’t ask you to be a doctor.”

I think that fear of having regret is one of the biggest drivers to it. You don’t want to get to the end of your life and say, “I wish I would have done things differently.”

The Power Of The Human Spirit: Enjoy the present moment. Don’t worry so much about the future because we're always exactly where we need to be.

The Power Of The Human Spirit: Enjoy the present moment. Don’t worry so much about the future because we're always exactly where we need to be.

I am so excited about checking out your side and tell me what the long-term vision of this media platform looks like for you. Is that something that’s expanding as you go along?

We’re in beta so we’re constantly just iterating. Right now are really doing some deep work on focusing what is our overall brand messaging and where we’re going and who are we talking to. It’s funny because you think like, “Shouldn’t you have figured that out before you launched?” For us, it really was more like starting and putting it out before you’re ready. The idea of publishing over perfection is hard for me because I am the worst perfectionist ever. Even to launch something and inside I’m dying because I’m like, “It’s not ready,” but that’s the beauty because once it’s out there, now you’re holding yourself accountable and knowing that you have to make it better. It’s a really beautiful time. We have hundreds of really inspirational articles and then we also have a video, which I’m super excited about. We want to bring in more live events courses, products, assessments and really building the community. First, we’re mainly focused on building the tribe because you can’t have a live event without a tribe. We’re doing the good work to build that.

I will tell you that is something that I still struggle with now. Even my speaking coach says, “Done is better than perfect.” Put out the 1.0 version and then you can put the 2.0 version out but you can’t put out the 2.0 if you don’t have the 1.0.

It is the hardest thing to do but it’s the most important thing to do.

I think so often a lot of entrepreneurs, we’re a type A. We get it done. We are like, “Make it happen like yesterday.” I know even at the beginning of my career, I went nowhere superfast for the first six months because I just thought I have to have everything done perfectly. It’s like what Darren Hardy talks about, plan-do-review. You just have to keep one foot in front of the other.

That’s something that actually resonates with me so much and to pick up on that point too. Not only do you have to publish over perfection, but I think one of the biggest lessons I learned, and this I learned from interviewing Alli Webb, the founder of Drybar. That is to focus on one thing and be the best at it. As entrepreneurs, it is really hard to focus on one thing because oftentimes we don’t have the funding to be able to hire any help. We have to be everything. We have to be the branding, the marketing, the outreach and the accountant. We have to be everything.

What I’ve really learned is to trust that there are other people a lot better than I am at so many things and to just stay in my lane. Alli, she has a really beautiful story. She always knew that she wanted to be a hairdresser and she stuck to that. She got her brother to do the branding and her husband to do the accounting because she knew that she wasn’t good at those things. Eventually, it’s being able to trust that others are just as passionate as you are and to really finding that team who can help you and hiring people smarter than you.

I’ve said it this way and I’ve heard this so many times that it goes right hand-in-hand with that, “If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.” If you would go back in time, Kristen, and tell yourself one piece of advice as an entrepreneur, what would it be and why?

The biggest thing ringing out in my soul right now is to enjoy the moment and to celebrate little victories. I think the biggest thing I could be guilty of is I’ve always been one to set really big goals. I tend to just only focus on the goal and nothing in between. What happens is you end up wishing your life away because you’re like, “I’ll be happy when I get here. I’ll celebrate when I do this.” Number one, what happens if you actually never get there? Number two, even worse what happens when you got there and you realize that that thing actually didn’t make you happy, because usually, it doesn’t?

As humans, we’re just naturally progressive, especially, as entrepreneurs, we’re highly motivated. We were constantly goal-crushing. As soon as you get to that goal then you’re like, “This isn’t good enough. I need to set this goal.” You look back on your life and you say, “I wish I would have stayed in the present moment,” and realize that it’s such a cliché but so true but it’s not about the destination. It’s all about the journey. It’s not about that big goal you’re trying to reach. It’s about growing and evolving as humans and becoming the best versions of ourselves. I think it’s really important to have grace and be kind to yourself and know that even little progress, like one day you got up and you didn’t feel like working but you cleared out your email inbox.

If you’re only focusing on that one big thing and you don’t reach it, you’re going to feel really crappy all the time. We really make it a point at Luminate to celebrate little victories as much as possible on the way to the goal. That just helps you enjoy the present moment and stay in the present and not worry so much about the future because like we discussed, we’re always exactly where we need to be. We’re divinely guided. We need to have the faith and trust that it doesn’t always work on our timetable and as fast as we want it to, but are going exactly where we need to be. It’s just trusting that and staying in the present and really having gratitude for that.

That is something that I still struggle with. I have to get myself into a place of gratitude and I do that every single morning and start really focusing on that. Whatever you focus on expands and sometimes when you want to scale and up-level, it’s like, “When does that end?” It’s to be able to have those victories every single step of the way and be thankful for what God has given you. I think that’s a huge component too when you can get yourself in gratitude, it’s magnetic. Tell me what is the best advice you have ever received?

This one actually I think was probably the most transformational. I do a series that I called Project Luminary. Through it, I interview these really inspiring entrepreneurs and we talk about not the successes but the setbacks of how they became who they are. I was dying to interview Cal Fussman who is a world-renowned interviewer. He was the only person that Tim Ferriss has had four times on his podcast. He is known for doing a column on Esquire magazine, which is called What I’ve Learned. He’s interviewed so many legends throughout his career. I was freaking out before this interview because I was like, “How am I supposed to interview the world’s greatest interviewer?” What a wonderful opportunity and what his whole concept is basically asking better questions to get better results. If you want a better answer, you should ask a better question.

The Power Of The Human Spirit: Relax. It makes everything better.

The Power Of The Human Spirit: Relax. It makes everything better.

It speaks to our mindset and how we go about things. He gave this example of this woman that came up to him after an event and she said, “Cal, I love what you’re doing. I’ve always wanted to speak but I can’t speak in front of an audience. I’m terrified.” Cal says, “What if you change your questions?” She said, “I don’t understand. What do you mean?” He said, “Let me change the question. Can you speak in front of a mirror?” She said, “I guess I could.” He said, “If you spoke in front of a mirror and practice and practice, could you eventually speak in front of a camera?” She was like, “If I practice, I think I could do that.” Then he said, “Do you think after you practice, you could get up in front of a group of people and just pretend like you’re talking to a mirror?” She’s like, “That is so brilliant. I’m going to try that.” She ended up doing that and three weeks later she stopped Cal and she was just like, “Cal, you changed my life. I did exactly what you said and now I can speak in front of an audience.” It just simplifying things. I think we may get all these big huge problems that we can’t answer but if we change our questions, it’s amazing what better results we can get by doing something simple like that.

I love the mind shift. Those little paradigm shifts can literally change the trajectory of your life. I think that’s fabulous. With all the different people that you have interviewed, out of all the people that you know and what we do here at the Boss Life, who is one person that I should know or I should study and get to know their backstory for that inspiration?

Alli Webb is definitely one that I’m a huge fan of. She has a beautiful story of being a stay-at-home mom. She really didn’t hit success until later in life. One person that I think a lot of people don’t know yet, his name is Sebastian Terry. What I love about his story is he was someone that didn’t grow up with a lot of purpose and he was in trouble in high school and just didn’t really have a good chance of doing something amazing because he just wasn’t in it. Eventually what happened is his friend died and it really made him look at what he was doing with his life. He put together this incredible bucket list of 100 Things To Do Before I Die, and some of the things on the list were just crazy. It was like getting married to a stranger in Vegas, ridiculous things that he ended up doing. One of them was to help a stranger. He had all these things that he was doing but it wasn’t how he helped the stranger did he realized what his true purpose was.

The beautiful thing about that is the stranger that he helped was this amazing person that ended up getting bit by a tick and had Lyme disease and was paralyzed for most of his body. He had always wanted to run the marathon. Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen. Sebastian pushed him for the marathon. You can’t ever replace the feeling now what it’s like when you’re truly giving. The moral of the story is really just as humans, life is about following our purpose and passion. When you can really get back to the mindset of giving without receiving, that’s really what it’s all about. His story and listening to his story and now he’s created this huge platform where people actually sign up to be able to help other people. Some of those are little things just like helping an elderly lady bring in the groceries. Other things are like really big things. We need this big donation to someone with cancer but essentially as humans, it’s just all about being of service and having that service mindset. Not worrying about what we’re always getting and who’s giving to us but actually giving and being of service. It’s a really beautiful lesson and a beautiful reminder.

That’s super powerful and I will tell you even in times in my life where I’ve been in my “rock bottom” moments when things aren’t going in a good direction or I’m almost in a state of being really sad or feeling frustrated or flat-lined or any of the above. When you can just think outside yourself and say, “I’m not feeling great now, but how can I give back to someone else? How can I make their day better?” It’s amazing how the ripple effect happens back at you. Then it pays forward so many generations. It’s just crazy what one act of kindness can do. That’s really cool, Kristen. Thank you. It’s our next actual piece about our lightning round with the lady boss. Question number one, when you aren’t crushing it in business, what do you love to do?

The first answer, drinking wine and eating snacks.

If you wouldn’t have started with what you’re doing with Luminate and even working within the celebrity space, what would you have done if you didn’t go into broadcast journalism?

I’m probably a veterinarian because I love animals.

People would be surprised that I spend so much time doing?

Probably just worrying and trying to silence the little voices in your head that give you the negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.

I love that even someone as successful as you has to dominate those doubts. It shows to us that the best of the best have to put them in their place. What’s your favorite way to spend downtime?

I love just being outside in nature and working out. I’m a big Pilates fan. Anything that gets me a good sweat. SoulCycle is one of my favorites as well.

What are you reading right now?

I am rereading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. It’s one of my favorites.

What are you absolutely addicted to?

Red wine and snacks. I have two glasses and I’m like, “That’s enough.” It’s my favorite thing to relax. It makes everything better. Bread and olive oil and chocolate.

Your most embarrassing moment.

I’ve had so many. Probably when I was working for ABC and I was working on a breaking news story in the newsroom and not realizing what time it was. I had a hit on air for twenty seconds so I sprinted across the newsroom. I was struggling to put on my IFP and get my position. The anchors tossed to me and I was so out of breath I could not do my segment and I had no package to toss to. I should have just said something but I think it was like, “No one will notice,” but as I heard myself speak it was like, “And then the next thing. Then the next thing.” I was so embarrassed and it was a three-minute segment. I sounded like I was dying or having a heart attack. I’m sure everyone watching was like, “What is this girl doing?”

That’s called being human and I’m sure they appreciated it. Who inspires you? Who do you aspire to be like?

My husband inspires me. It’s been amazing working together and also really challenging. He is one of those people that literally is so positive every single day. I’m so lucky because I call him my personal Tony Robbins. He is just someone that really knows how to keep the faith and staying in that zone, that mindset, knowing that he’s divinely guided. He’s amazing. Every single day, I’m just like, “I want to be more like Seth.”

Coffee or chocolate?

I would say both but probably chocolate.

Describe yourself in one word.

Driven.

Thank you, Kristen. That lightning round with the lady boss was amazing. I have three last questions. Number one, if someone met you and said, “Kristen, I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots. What’s my first step?”

What’s ringing out right now is belief. Believe that you can.

What is your definition of a boss?

I think someone who is unapologetic and who they really are that is authentic. Is someone who is vulnerable and raw and is willing to do whatever it takes but also is the most compassionate and kind human being on that journey. Someone who doesn’t forget where they came from and forget who they are and focuses on their dream while still focusing on the bigger picture.

I have to say you are so down to Earth. You care so deeply about people and you are that word that you said. You are so driven and making it happen in business and life. I want to say thank you so much for showing us how it’s done and taking the higher road and going all into that.

Thank you. I’m so grateful to be on your podcast. I’m so in awe of all the amazing things you’re creating in the world. I’m just really grateful for being able to not only share my story but it’s been an incredible morning of self-reflecting and remembering why we’re doing what we’re doing.

I am so excited about my audience to connect with you and your media company with Luminate and everything that you have going on. Tell us how we can connect with you.

I have an official website at KristenAldridge.com and you can find our media company at JustLuminate.com, on social media is @JustLuminate and myself for social media is mostly Kristen Aldridge except for Instagram, it’s @Kristen.Aldridge.

Kristen, thank you from the bottom of my heart and thank you for this whole Boss Life community. You are what makes this happen. If you loved this episode, make sure to share it with a friend. I want to encourage you like Kristen had said at the beginning of this interview. We want you to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Take what you learned here and implement it into your life. You are created for greatness. Let’s get after it, Boss.

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About Kristen Aldridge

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Kristen Aldridge has worked all over the world as a journalist, TV host, anchor, producer and content creator for the likes of ABC, CBS, Yahoo!, CNN, E!, SHAPE Magazine and ESPN, to name a few. With years of experience in live TV covering a wide variety of genres such as news, business, entertainment, lifestyle, sports and social media, she has been awarded an Emmy, a Davey, and five Tellys. She’s also covered just about every star-studded event, including the Golden Globes, the Grammys, the Emmys and the Oscars, where she had the honor of being co-host for the national red carpet pre-show on ABC.

With a passion for capturing compelling stories that ignite inspiration and create powerful change, Kristen is currently Co-Founder and CEO of Luminate, a digital media platform and global community of luminaries, leaders and influencers shining a light on the way we work, lead, live and love. She is also the creator, director, producer and host of Project Luminary, a new original series in partnership with Entrepreneur.com and Facebook Watch that explores the power of the human spirit and what it takes to achieve the extraordinary.

As a road-tested warrior in entrepreneurship, her mission is to educate, empower, and enrich the lives of future founders as they pursue their biggest, boldest dreams -- because with the right mindset, will and desire, anything is possible.

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Identifying Your Zone Of Genius with Rebecca Jarvis

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Identifying your zone of genius means living your life in a purpose-driven zone. Award-winning journalist and chief business, technology, and economics correspondent Rebecca Jarvis is shattering the glass ceiling on a regular basis for her amazing work with empowering women to expand their mindset of what is possible, step up to the plate, and live in their purpose-driven zone. Rebecca reveals that getting into her zone of genius took a lot of baby steps, a vision of the future, an attitude of always wanting to learn, and collecting little opportunities that built up her portfolio she could show the bosses. She shares her story of how she shifted from investment banking to broadcast journalism and what inspired her to do that.

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Listen to the podcast here:

Identifying Your Zone Of Genius with Rebecca Jarvis

I have had so many amazing guests, but the next person is one of my biggest inspirations in life to date. She is one of my sheroes in my life. She is a fellow Midwesterner. She had big dreams as a little girl and she wanted to impact the world and she is doing just that. She raised over $750,000 for her own nonprofit, a children's charity, when she was fifteen years old. She even landed an interview with Colin Powell in high school. She jumped into a male-dominated industry and she didn't pause for a second. She became very successful in investment banking and foreign currency trading. She performed like a boss.

She shifted and made an epic jump into broadcast journalism from what she was doing before. She is an ABC News Emmy Award-winning journalist, Chief Business Technology and Economics Correspondent. She's shattering the glass ceiling on a regular basis. She is doing amazing things and empowering women to step up to the plate and live in their purpose-driven zone. She even started a podcast called No Limits. Go on over and subscribe to that because she is helping women to expand their mindset of what is possible. Rebecca Jarvis, thank you for being the boss of your own life and illuminating the way for us.

Thank you, Stefanie. Thanks for everything you're doing for all the bosses out there.

I'm so honored to be able to interview you. I want to hear more about how you shifted from investment banking to broadcast journalism. How are those tied? What inspired you to do that?

My parents were so influential and, still to this day, are so influential and that has driven and motivated me. My mom is a journalist as well. She's a print journalist for Reuters. My grandfather was a journalist. That was in my blood from the time I was young and I really thought I wanted to pursue this profession from a young age. When I went to school, I started studying economics and constitutional law. One of the things that happened in college is that I racked up a ton of student loan debt. I recognized quickly that going into journalism straight out of college would mean I would be living under that student loan debt forever.

If you start out in journalism, there are no jobs that pay for your student loans. I didn't have a safety net and part of what I thought after I graduated from school was, “If I go into finance, initially I can learn about this world that my economics degree has helped prepare me for. I can also start paying back those loans.” It was about $20,000 worth of them. Hopefully, I can do that in the span of a handful of years if I'm careful about all of the money that I'm making. I'm putting almost all of it towards my 401(k), my rent and my student loans. Those were the main areas. My mom, after I got the job, called me every day to make sure I was putting money into the 401(k). Thank goodness for that because if she hadn't been doing that, I actually tell her that I started putting money into my 401(k) to shut her up. Every phone conversation started with, "Becky, have you started doing the 401(k)?" I'm like, "Mom, come on. No, I haven't yet."

I go into investment banking and I realized about a year and a half into the job that I desperately wanted to pursue journalism. I looked around and there were a lot of people who had dreams early on, when we all started in investment banking who said, "I want to do this, I want to do that." As time went on, they lost those interests or they felt like they were living a life that they couldn't walk away from in investment banking. I made this decision, "I’ve got to make this leap." I started early when I made this decision, which was about a year and a half into investment banking. I was in Chicago at the time. I was calling every business editor at every newspaper and asking them if I could grab coffee with them. I would go out and I would talk to them about their world and their work.

At the end of the conversation, I had three different ideas for stories. I would pitch them those three ideas at the end of the coffee and say, "I love the work that you're doing. I'm interested in moving into your field. I recognize there may or may not be job opportunities, but here are three stories that if you were willing to allow me to do it, I would write it for you." A business newspaper called Crain's Chicago Business said, "You can start writing for us." I started writing for them based on the trends that I had seen in finance. One of the things that I say, especially to journalists, but I think it applies across the board, “Whatever it is that you want, finding that side door is the key to success.” When everybody else is running through the front entrance, trying to compete with that crowd and trying to stand out, it’s so much more complicated.

When you can find that side door, whether it's a side passion that brings you somewhere or an experience that you have that most people don't have. If you can figure out what that special unique thing is about your story and weave that into why an employer should hire you, you have a 1,000% better shot at getting that opportunity. In my case, I came in with a business background and some constitutional law background. Whatever that thing is, as soon as it becomes the main thing that the newsroom needs, you raise your hand and you say, "I'm an expert in this. I'm ready and willing to do whatever it is around this particular topic because I have the expertise." These networks and newspapers, they all need experts who can understand something and explain it in layman's terms.

Zone Of Genius: Trying to stand out is so complicated. When you can find that side door, that special unique thing about your story, you have a 1000% better shot at getting that opportunity.

Zone Of Genius: Trying to stand out is so complicated. When you can find that side door, that special unique thing about your story, you have a 1000% better shot at getting that opportunity.

Really identifying what your zone of genius is and you've done such an amazing job of that. I even watch your Instagram story and you did put, even in layman terms, how to raise your credit score.

Did you raise your credit score yet?

Yes. I'm checking it. How did you transition from the investment banking to broadcast journalism and then landing at ABC?

A lot of it is baby steps. I had big dreams. I wanted to work in broadcast news, but there wasn't some clear path of, “Do this, do that,” and then you're there. For me, I hunkered down and did the work to write the best articles I could. Coming out of investment banking, I start writing for Crain's Chicago Business. I also contacted, they're no longer around, but it's a magazine called Business 2.0. They had offered me an internship when I was in college, which I ended up not taking at the time because I was on this economics finance path. I called them up and I said, "Could I come and write for you? I'm doing this work for Crain's." They said, “Yes.” Little by little, I'm getting these opportunities to work in journalism and build a portfolio where I can show future bosses. I wrote this article about debt. I wrote this article when I was at Business 2.0 about RFID-enabled poker chips because, at that time, a lot of casinos in Las Vegas had counterfeiting as a major issue. People would come in with fake casino chips. If you put this RFID inside of them, then they can track whether or not it's fake or real. I continued to collect those stories in my portfolio.

I also continued to meet with editors. I started meeting with television producers. I continued to talk to all these different players in the industry and continued to put my hand up and say, "I'm always interested in learning. I'm always interested in opportunities." Finally, the CNBC opportunity came along. CNBC offers me this, first of its kind, Associate Reporter title. They said, "You come in and you learn the ropes. Once you figure out the ropes, then we put you on TV." They gave me about six months and it was truly a sink or swim opportunity. They said at the end of six months, "If we don't keep you, if we don't think you've made it, then we'll say our goodbyes. If at the end of six months we feel that you could make it here, then we enact what will be a three-year deal." That's ultimately what happened.

You didn't probably sleep too much in those six months.

You bring up an important point, which is when I first got there were so many new things. It can be complicated when you get into a brand-new work environment to know where your value is. Nobody expects you to sit down and be perfect at the job on day one. I have seen through incredible employees who have worked with me on my team what it takes for them to stand out. We had an intern here at ABC News. His name is Victor. On his very first day, I was working late and I was in the office at 8:30 PM and it was also Victor's first day. He was there at 8:30 PM in the office and I said, "Victor, what's going on? You could have gone home hours ago." His actual job description says he can leave at six. He said, "No, I started on a project. I'm not leaving." That attitude is the kind of attitude that will help make you stand out even if you're not perfect at the job on day one. I tried hard to be useful to my colleagues at CNBC and to help producers. I tried to not think of any job, in the environment that I was in, as something that would be beneath me. I tried to consistently add value.

To go that extra mile and that's what I've found even in my own career. When you put in that little extra step, it makes all the difference in the world. Going from CNBC, how did that transition over to ABC? 

I got to CNBC in 2006 and it was the early stages of the financial crisis, the great recession. All of a sudden overnight CNBC became the go-to place that all of these people were tuning in trying to understand what was happening in the market and in the world. Lehman Brothers went under, Bear Stearns went under, Merrill Lynch and Bank of America merged. So many changes took place and those are what happened inside the banks. Obviously, a number of Americans lost most of their retirement savings, if not all of them. People were worried, people were losing their homes, and there was a foreclosure crisis. People wanted answers and they were tuning in to CNBC for those answers.

It was an incredible time to be there because I learned how to be a reporter in that type of environment. It was so fast-paced, and the news was constantly happening all around us. At that time, a lot of the networks were looking for people who could be experts, who could break down the information for their viewers. I remember feeling some frustration at the time because they would ask us to go report at other places as well. Other news outlets would say, "Can you come and break this down for us?" I always felt this frustration that the average viewer wasn't getting enough of the right information. For example, if you had sold your stocks and your 401(k) in the height of the financial crisis 2008, 2009, you would have lost at least half of your retirement savings. If you had held on and weathered through, obviously there would have been a lot of white-knuckled days and nights, but within three years you would have made all of the money back.

One of my biggest pet peeves are the number of charlatans out there who claim to be experts, who tell people, “I have a ‘can't fail no risk’ solution to saving your money or to using your money to make money.” Most of the time, those are scams. They are having you hand over your money because they are making money on it, not because you are making money on it. I felt at that moment, when I was at CNBC and I genuinely loved my job, that I was willing to go work for CBS News. They were coming to me and asking me to come work for them. I felt that making the transition to CBS news where the audience was not a specific business news viewer, but a broad audience. I hoped that I could help people see that there are these charlatans out there who are scam artists and help them understand the right answers. I went to CBS, I was hired by a woman who ultimately moved to ABC News. When I was done with my contract at CBS or a little bit before that point, she was saying to me, "Please come work with me at ABC News." I met the team at ABC News. I instantly loved everything about the people in the leadership roles at this company. That was five plus years ago and I've been here ever since and I'm so happy.

It happened organically. When you keep taking that next best step, it illuminates the way to that next thing. What was that ultimate dream that you were looking to pursue?

It’s funny because I don't necessarily think it's a specific role, it has more to do with impact. At the heart of what I do, there are two different areas that ignite me and make me excited. It's curiosity and being able to ask questions, hold people accountable, and continuously go out seeking answers. On the other side, it's helping to educate people and giving the audience the best information that exists so that the audience can go out and make the best decisions for themselves and their families. My dream at this moment, between no limits where we speak with women who are the boldest and influential women. Everybody from CEOs to founders to celebrities who have figured out how to build their own empires and demystifying that success, to the work that I do with ABC News on a regular basis on investigations.

Zone Of Genius: There are two different areas that drive me. It's curiosity and helping to educate people.

Zone Of Genius: There are two different areas that drive me. It's curiosity and helping to educate people.

You're literally living your dream, Rebecca. I'm so thrilled for you and you truly do that. I listen to your podcast all the time and I feel like I can hardly sleep at night because when you're just helping people to see that some of these women are average Jills that stepped up into their power and said, "Enough is enough. I don't want to live life by design or default anymore. I want to design my life." From just how they have created empires and paid that forward to other people, thank you for doing what you do.

I know you're doing it here as well and it's an honor to be a part of this.

Did it come naturally to build a tribe and an A-team around you? Even in corresponding with your team, I was talking with your executive producer and so many other incredible people along the way to coordinate this episode. You've obviously pulled in a lot of powerhouse entrepreneurs and lady bosses that are making an impact in the world. How do you start to do that? How have you brought these amazing, incredible people around you to help us all raise our A-game?

First of all, thank you for the shout out to the team here at ABC News that helps make No Limits happen week after week and help make all of the work that we're doing here happen. They're incredible. Elizabeth Russo runs PR here at ABC News and helps us with the publicity for No Limits. My producer, Taylor Dunn. My research assistant, Anie Osakwe, Michelle Boncardo, the editor of the No Limits podcast. These are all phenomenal women. It's funny that you ask about bringing together the tribe because some of it is a little bit of luck. These are women who have come to me throughout the course of my career. They've worked very hard. They've come into my existence, entered into the world of ABC, and then found their way to me. As soon as I've seen their passion and excitement for what we're trying to build for that mission statement, how can they not be on the team?

A lot of it comes down to you have to put your mission statement out there for those who would be attracted to that mission statement to find you. One of the things that's incredible is the way you found me. From listening to the podcast and reaching out to me on Instagram, the world is so much different than it used to be where there would be so many more layers to building that tribe. Whereas now, we have common interests in helping women reach their goals and be successful. The hardest part is not finding people, it's finding the time to have the relationships have meaning and impact and managing that time. As I'm sure you know, and everybody feels this way, there's never enough time to do all of it.

I talked a little bit about this in my book and you totally shared that on another level. When you step up into your light and you are living your mission and vision, those people are attracted to you versus you feeling like you have to chase success or the right type of people. It's amazing how the Law of Attraction truly does work in your favor when you do put it out there. I want to know what you would say for the audience that is like, "My tribe is not exactly supporting me. There are a lot of toxic relationships in there." We've all been in that place in one time or another, but how do you get yourself into that positive place and try to rebuild that tribe? What are your top three tips to do that?

One thing that's very important is listening to that voice inside of you that is recognizing the toxic relationships. We all have an ability, it's almost a physical reaction to recognizing the good from the bad. If you’re hearing that inner voice telling you over and over again, "This is bad, this is toxic." There is no amount of upside to keeping whatever bad energy that is in your world. We oftentimes talk ourselves into something being good because, for example, somebody's resume looks great or they bring the right context to the table. If there's something bad and toxic about that relationship, listen to that. I promise you, it's never worth it to keep it that way.

The second thing is taking time to think through what your mission statement is. Life is so busy, it's so wild. There are a million different ideas coming at you at any given moment. There are a lot of great ideas out there, it doesn't mean that it is your mission statement. It doesn't mean it is your North Star and the thing that's going to drive you. The clearer you are about your North Star and the things that matter the most to you, the more likely you are to put that out and have that come back to you in the form of people who are on the same page. You do have to do some of the time to think about it.

The third thing is to be open, to listen and to see because we prejudge a lot of things. As an example, if you're in a position of hiring, even if somebody has more seniority, they might not be the right person to hire. Oftentimes, it's the person who expresses loyalty and a passion for that mission that you have, that person I would hire every day over the one who has the better-looking resume. On paper, a lot of people look great but if they're not as excited and passionate about the thing that you're building, you're going to be dragging them along all the time. Be open to hearing and seeing people who don't have the perfect resume or the perfect backstory. Be open to seeing that and understanding that has a huge amount of value for you.

You can't push a rope. Some of those people are like, “I want to have this journey forever for the foreseeable future." Even John Maxwell talks about how you have to be okay with letting some of those people do their things. Some people are in your life for a season. To be able to bless them and release them so it can open up that space and those amazing people can come into your life. I want to go back to right when you got things started in broadcast journalism. Obviously, there is a lot of rejection. How do you propel yourself forward? If you could go back in time and tell yourself one piece of advice, what would you tell yourself when you jumped into the broadcast journalism game?

The piece of advice I would give is, “Enjoy it all a little bit more.” I was so focused on the propelling, the crashing through walls, and figuring out how to make that no a yes. Instead of celebrating the mini-wins along the way, I was so intent on getting out there and being the best I could possibly be. I focus so much of my energy on that, I would love to go back and celebrate a little bit more. I'm going with two pieces of advice. Networking is important. We would all agree that getting out there and getting to know new people is important. I look at networking very differently now than when I started out, I enjoy networking more than I enjoyed it before.

Zone Of Genius: Enjoy it all a little bit more. Celebrate the mini wins along the way.

Zone Of Genius: Enjoy it all a little bit more. Celebrate the mini wins along the way.

When I started out, it was all about in the same vein about not enjoying it and I was not celebrating the mini wins. I would go out to a networking event and it was all about, "How can I impress people? How can I prove myself to this group of people? I'm the lowliest person here. Do I deserve to be here? Probably not. No one probably wants to talk to me. I'll go up and shake people's hand. I'm trying hard to get to know people." Anybody who feels that way, I was 100% where you are and I get it. I have tried to shift my thinking and this is generally is how I approach networking.

There's a room filled with fascinating people, I want to get to know the people in this room. I'd like to get to know them on a real level. I don't have to make a perfect impression. I don't have to say the funniest joke or have the perfect comeback when they say something. Instead, I have to have an authentic connection. Going into networking in that way does two things. First of all, it makes it enjoyable and second, if there is a relationship to be made, you're going to get so much more from it because of how you're addressing it. You're coming at it from the real you. Hopefully, they're coming at it from the real them and then you have a genuine connection. I believe genuine connections are more valuable in business and in life than anything else.

That's such good wisdom and insight because it sounds like you're a Type-A lady boss, driving to the finish line. I was all about the finish line early on in the game. If you take some time to slow down, you actually speed up. It's beautiful when you do make those authentic and organic connections. I feel like the stars start to align versus, “Next person, next person.” It is truly digging deep and getting to know them on the heart level. To me, that's even so much more fulfilling and rewarding. I struggled with that for probably the first five years of my career. The sixth year when I founded the Lady Boss Empire, that was the a-ha or the light bulb moment where things started to shift and then things started to explode. I feel that on another level.

I'm glad that that happened to you too. I would also say to that point, there are times where you're not going to feel like the stars are aligning even though you're being authentic and you're putting your mission statement out. Even though you're talking about your North Star and you're going after real relationships. Back to this idea of the journey versus the outcome, if you're not enjoying the journey along the way and you're just going after the stars aligning, that's a double whammy of unfortunate badness. There's no guarantee that the stars are going to align, but you can guarantee how you feel along the way by doing things that are satisfying to you.

My mom has preached that to me from day one, “Enjoy the journey.” I'm like, "I'll do that later."

Your mom is smart. Having a strong mom makes a big difference. I have a strong, awesome mom as well.

I want to switch gears here a little bit and go into the lightning round with lady boss if you don't mind. If you wouldn't have started with what you did with broadcast journalism, what would you have gone into?

Maybe a lawyer.

You're a bottom-line woman. People would be surprised that I spend so much time doing?

Watching The Real Housewives.

Your celebrity crush?

My husband knows. Bradley Cooper, probably.

Chipotle or Chick-fil-A?

Chipotle.

Your favorite way to spend downtime?

I love to walk. I love cities and living in New York. I love being to wander through my neighborhood. In any city I ever visit, I always love to see it on by foot.

What are you absolutely addicted to?

My phone unfortunately and coffee.

You literally answered the next one. Chocolate or coffee?

Coffee, 100%.

Best piece of advice you've ever received?

From my mom and dad, but from my mom always asking me what's the worst thing that can happen. Whenever I was afraid to try something, my mom would always say, "What's the worst thing that can happen?" The advice from that is basically, “Just do it.” Most of the time, the worst thing that can happen is that your ego gets a little bit bruised. If you're worried about that, then you're missing all of the upsides of both the experience and the unknown on the other side.

Zone Of Genius: If you're worried about getting your ego a little bit bruised, then you're missing all of the upsides of both the experience and the unknown on the other side.

Zone Of Genius: If you're worried about getting your ego a little bit bruised, then you're missing all of the upsides of both the experience and the unknown on the other side.

Most embarrassing moment?

I've had so many of them. I can't go into detail, but most of them involve bathrooms.

If you could spend one day with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

My sister, because we used to live together in New York and we saw each other all the time. She now lives in LA. I love her. She's my closest, dearest friend and I would always choose to spend a day with her if I could.

Your favorite food?

It's probably Mexican food. I'll say in a very simple way that a great tortilla chip and salsa combo, I could definitely make some good use of that.

Who inspires you and who do you aspire to be like?

My mom, because she sincerely has been an inspiration to me from the day I was born. She also did this incredible thing which was somewhat rare for her generation, which was she both had a career and was a wonderful mom to my sister and me. There were plenty of times over our childhood where my mom was worried that she wasn't doing enough or that she was missing out on moments or that we were missing out on things that we needed from her. I look back on the example that she set and the person that she was to my dad, sister and me. If I could be that, I would have won the game.

She sounds like a phenomenal woman.

Gail Marks Jarvis. She's a good one.

Describe yourself in one word.

Intense. I've never said that out loud before, but I do think that probably some people feel like I'm pretty intense when they meet me.

I remember meeting the guy in the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. I met him at the backstage at one of our conventions and I came up to him. My dad introduced me to him and I was starstruck. He's like, "Tell me a little bit more about you." I was going through all my goals, my dreams, whatever. He's like, "What's your best advice?" He's like, "You're intense. My best advice is chill out." Being intense and having a huge vision and wanting to make an impact in the world is a wonderful thing. More power to you, Rebecca.

I'm with you there. I'm glad we're both intense ladies. It's a good thing,

If you could swap lives with one person for a day, who would it be and why? 

I don't honestly think I want to swap lives with a person. Maybe just to see what it's like to live with me and endure me at times, swapping with my husband could be interesting. If I was in his head, that could also be useful to understand, but I do like my life. Who would you swap with?

I would say I'm a huge fan of my own life, but if I would probably say and this might be a cliché answer, I would have to say it’s Oprah. Just to see how she's impacted lives in such a huge, world-impacting level. Just to see life through her eyes and catch the abundance, the never-say-die attitude, and the way that she looks at life. I'd love to see, hear, feel the insight and the wisdom that she has. If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?

I don't know enough superheroes. Superwoman. If there's one thing I would love to do is to be able to, it might be to my detriment, read people's thoughts.

You crushed our lightning round of. We are going onto the home stretch so thank you for being on it. Let's say there's someone that's around 30 years old, they're loving their business, they're loving their life, but they've always had that intent that they wanted to do that one other thing. Maybe it was broadcast journalism or starting their own business. What would your words of advice be if they're in a good place with where they're at, but they still have this little something that's calling them?

The first thing is to write it down. What is it that you care about? Why is it calling to you? Try to get as much of that on paper so that you understand what your thinking is. Do you like the idea of it? What about the journey to get there? Would you enjoy the journey to get to whatever that mission is? Second, once you have that idea in mind, talk to your friends and family and the people whom you trust the most. Frankly, you could do that along the way as you're coming up with the thing that is there. If at the end of speaking to those whom you trust and writing it down, you truly believe that the journey is part of why you're interested in that pursuit. Then you should start laying the groundwork for getting there.

One thing about that is if you’re in a job that you love, you don't necessarily have to quit that job. There are a lot of people who start something as a side hustle. A podcast for example. If your desire is to talk to people about things that matter, ask questions and behave somewhat like a journalist, you could start a podcast and test the waters there. It's always a good idea to test the waters, especially if you're comfortable in the world that you live in. If you hate your job and you're trying to get away from it and you're trying to make a different decision, then it's more a matter of what is that decision then should you leave?

A lot of people are in that zone of somewhat enjoying their life, but there is that little thing that keeps on the door of their heart. To get crystal clear on that and take one step towards it, and then another step, and see how it unfolds. That’s good advice.

Zone Of Genius: Listen to yourself. Get a better feel for what your thoughts are.

Zone Of Genius: Listen to yourself. Get a better feel for what your thoughts are.

I have to remind myself of these things all the time too. While we learned them through time and experience, there are always moments in life where you have to check yourself and listen to yourself. I like writing things down because once you write something down, you get a better feel for it. Your thoughts can feel circular at times, but when you write, you see that there’s a start and an end point.

If someone came to you and said, "I want to be the boss of my own life, Rebecca. I want to call the shots. What's my first step?"

Start doing it. It's like being happy. My colleague, Michael Strahan, wrote a book about this and it reminds me of something my dad used to say when I was a kid. If you want to be happy, start being happy. Telling yourself that you're going to smile and laugh. Putting yourself in situations that make you smile and laugh. Being the boss, start behaving like the boss. What does that mean? We don't all go to a job. I don't get to tell my boss that I'm the boss. I have bosses at ABC News. They tell me sometimes things to do that I would love to say no to, but I don't do that. I'm not in a position to do that. At the same time, there are ways that you can build out that independence. Back to the podcast for example with No Limits, I had this idea and I found a handful of people who were also passionate and excited about the idea. We decided we're going to start building it. Sometimes it sounds so simple and it's more difficult to do it but put one foot in front of the other and start making steps toward doing things that make you feel more like the boss. You will get there.

One foot in front of the other. With amazing, crazy, incredible ideas, when you start to act on them, take massive action and all bets are off. What is your definition of a boss?

Somebody who decides what they want and pursues it. Somebody who is a leader who inspires others, who sees the goodness in others and helps lift those around them up. Somebody who has a North Star or mission statement, and continuously goes after it.

You are the definition of a boss, Rebecca. Thank you so much for being here and sharing so much wisdom. Rebecca, any last words of wisdom and where can we find you?

I appreciate the opportunity to chat with you, Stefanie. Congratulations on the empire that you've built and are building. Thank you for reaching out to me. You've been a tremendous champion of the work that we're doing at No Limits.

I am incredibly honored. I know your schedule is crazy busy, thank you for squeezing this in. It means the world to me. I'm going to be paying that forward to so many other bosses

Everybody you can listen to the podcast, No Limits with Rebecca Jarvis. I'm across social media, I'm @RebeccaJarvis. I do check my DMs. I love it when people comment on photos and give me ideas.

Go look her up, my bosses. As you know here, we want to empower you to fight your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Implement what you learned from Rebecca and we will chat with you next time on the Boss Life.

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About Rebecca Jarvis

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Rebecca Jarvis is an Emmy-award winning journalist, ABC News’ Chief Business, Technology & Economics Correspondent; and the host and creator of ABC’s podcast featuring game changing women, No Limits with Rebecca Jarvis; Jarvis reports for all ABC News programs including Good Morning America, World News Tonight, Nightline, 20/20, and This Week with George Stephanopoulos.

Jarvis has conducted news making interviews with the biggest names in business and technology, including Warren Buffett, Richard Branson, Sheryl Sandberg, Jessica Alba, Bill and Melinda Gates, Ursula Burns; the first African American woman to run a fortune 500 company and General Motor CEO Mary Barra; the first female CEO to run a car company. She has conducted worldwide exclusive interviews with the likes of Apple CEO Tim Cook and was the first and only reporter to interview United CEO Oscar Munoz in a worldwide exclusive following the controversy surrounding the airline’s forceful removal of a passenger.

She has covered multiple presidential elections, the Madoff scandal, housing bubble, Great Recession, financial crisis and the fall of Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers. The Alliance for Women in Media named Jarvis one of the top business journalists in the country with its Women in Numbers Award. Jarvis is also the recipient of a duPont Award for her work covering the Newtown tragedy. Plus, she is a recipient of the Edward R. Murrow Award for Overall Excellence in Television and Radio.

Before joining ABC News Jarvis was co-host of CBS This Morning: Saturday, and Business and Economics correspondent for CBS News. Prior to CBS News Jarvis spent three years at CNBC reporting on market news from the New York Stock Exchange, NASDAQ and the New York Mercantile Exchange. She contributed regularly to NBC News including the Today Show and Nightly News.

Jarvis began her journalism career writing for Crain's Chicago Business and Business 2.0. She has also worked in investment banking and foreign currency trading. A graduate of the University of Chicago, Jarvis holds a degree in Economics and Constitutional Law. A recipient of the University of Chicago Dean's Grant, she studied European banking and financial markets and the formation of the European Union at the Université Sciences Po in Paris, France.

Jarvis received national recognition for her work with Colin Powell to empower children and improve communities and was named a "National Point of Light," receiving accolades from Presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush.

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The Power Of The Ask: How Giselle Ugarte Landed A Gig With Gary Vee

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You’ll never know until you ask. Giselle Ugarte’s cool encounter with internet personality Gary Vaynerchuk happened all because of social media and the power of the ask. Giselle is a multimedia personality as well with her own following when one of his followers reached out to give her a copy of Gary Vee’s book. They met up over coffee and Giselle ended up uploading a picture of it on social media. Little did Giselle know, Gary Vee saw this interaction and he either favorite it or re-tweeted it.

From there, some of his local following started following her as well, until eventually, Gary Vee’s promoters reached out to her inviting her to an event that they were hosting for Gary Vee. Giselle took it one step further and asked if she could host the event, and they ended up hiring her as the emcee. Until now, this is something that Giselle still cannot believe is happening. Giselle says you have to ask. People could say no, but what is there to lose?

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Listen to the podcast here:

The Power Of The Ask: How Giselle Ugarte Landed A Gig With Gary Vee

I have got my gorgeous friend, Giselle, here with me. Let me give you a little bit of background on this powerhouse entrepreneur. She lights my soul on fire on another level. Whenever I see her coming through Instagram, do yourself a favor, go follow her. She has beautiful photographs but she has the heart to back it up and give great wisdom and insight. If I'm ever feeling down, I go to Emily for Zella and I go to Giselle. Those are my two girls.

Honestly, it's the caption that comes first and I have to try to find a photo somewhere in my archive that matches whatever emotion that I'm going through, which can be awkward if it's one of those more vulnerable posts because I don't want to be that cliché, leave a quote with a picture type of an Instagram, but it's coming from my heart. I feel like whatever that wisdom is, either something that I'm going through or something that a friend's going through or I feel this tugging at my heart, someone needs to hear this and know that they're not alone. I love that about social media. It can be as superficial, hateful and negative as you want, but it can also be a place of positivity, inspiration and light if you use it correctly.

I'm all about it at all levels. Let me share with the audience how fabulous you are. She spent nearly ten years in LA and she is now proud to be called a Minnesotan again. She's back here. She has a weekday show from 6:00 AM to 10:00 AM with Ben, Dana and Giselle. If you are local here to Minnesota, go to 96.3 FM. She is a blast and I have listened to it. A little bit of background on Giselle. She is a multimedia personality, writer and producer. I was like, “What the heck doesn't she do?”

She's been featured in huge brands and outlets all over the world and she has over 300,000 followers. She is the real deal. There are some of those people that when you meet them in person, you're like, “That's a person,” but when you meet with Giselle, she truly is. She's not only an amazing talent, but she has the heart to back it up. She's been featured as a contributor and face for big names like CoverGirl, Proactiv+, The Today Show Australia, E! Entertainment, Dash Radio and Hollywire, just to name a few. I am so honored to be interviewing you.

Thank you for having me. I was inspired by you. Every time I check if you're doing one thing after the other. I feel like it's a community that we can inspire each other and grow together. I love that.

I met her through the pageant arena. A mutual friend invited both of us to a pageant event. She won the title and I came first runner-up. It was fun to meet her there and I feel like she's a kindred spirit. I was intrigued by her story because if I were to redo my life, I probably would have gone down a very similar path to what she has accomplished in her first ten years. She went out to LA and decided to chase the American dream. Ten years later, she was a bit disillusioned and burnt out. I want you to share the whole story. It’s cool to hear the wisdom that you got from that first part of your journey and where you're at now.

I did grow up in Minnesota. I grew up in Wayzata Suburb of Minneapolis, by no means a small town. I did go to a small school. I had 95 people in my graduating class. I am Mexican-American, so it felt like I grew up in a bubble. My parents were encouraging me to go away to college. I tended to stay here and I had been admitted to Carlton in Northfield. I was involved in dance and I love the Minnesota Vikings. I always had this dream of being a Minnesota Vikings cheerleader while I was in college and they said, “No, we want you to go to New York or California. Go anywhere but here so that you can explore and see something outside of yourself.”

I ended up going to USC in Los Angeles. There was a part of me, before going to college, where I was trying to decide if I want it to be a doctor or go into entertainment because my dad was a doctor and I had gotten into John Hopkins as well. I knew I was down to John Hopkins or USC and I knew that whichever one I picked would decide what I would do. At least that's how you feel in high school, you think that picking your college is going to decide the rest of your life.

We look back on that now and realize that it had little effect. I chose USC, I went to the journalism school. I always wanted to be Giuliana Rancic on E! News. I wanted to do entertainment news and be on the red carpet with the celebrities. That was something that I would watch ritually every single day. I would know all about all the gossip, news, who was dating who, and who was wearing who. That's what I pursued from the get-go. I had my first internship my sophomore year at E! Entertainment and from there, hustled and tried to learn everything.

Power Of The Ask: If you want to work in entertainment in LA, you need to know how everything works and you need to know everybody.

Power Of The Ask: If you want to work in entertainment in LA, you need to know how everything works and you need to know everybody.

I do wear a lot of hats. That was one of the pieces of advice that I’ve got, it was to learn how to produce, write, work for a publicist, work for an agent and work for the manager. If you want to work in entertainment in LA, you need to know how everything works and you need to know everybody. Being a Latina woman and watching the media go from television to digital, you needed to know how to edit video, how to upload instantaneously, how to upload on the CAASPP, start tweeting and marketing yourself digitally.

Somehow, it all ended up working out. I started a blog when I was in college and that also helped, a YouTube channel as well. I worked my way up as hard as I possibly could to get it on every single red carpet I could. I got into The Today Show Australia network program, which was a job that I didn't even seek out for myself. It turned out, “I can talk about entertainment on a network program. I can sleep in and be on TVs all over the world, but still have privacy. This is crazy.”

I did reach a point where I forgot about my why. I had always wanted to go into entertainment and I didn't remember why. I had gotten to know the entertainment industry and realized, “This is not as shiny and glamorous as I thought that it was.” Things just changed. I woke up one day and I was making more money than I had ever made before and I was dating someone who I thought I was going to marry, but something didn't feel right.

I didn't want to go to work. I was so burnt out. I was working nights, weekends, holidays. I was saying yes to absolutely everything and every single job. For some reason, I felt miserable. That was the most terrifying thing because my dream job was there. My dream life of getting married and settling down was there and I didn't want it. What was I supposed to do? It took a minute to regather and figure out what to do. Somehow, I ended up here.

I was supposed to go to New York and I stopped here on a whim to take some time off. I had met with an old boss who worked in radio. One of my internships in college was here over the summer at a radio station. That radio station had reformatted into a different format. I met with my former boss who is now the president of the company. I wanted to talk to them about what are some of my opportunities that I would have, given my experience, but I don't want to do entertainment anymore. I haven't done a lot of radio. I've done a little bit of digital radio. I had my own show on Dash Radio. What I'd be able to break into radio, whether it's news or morning show radio, I haven't been to one of those smaller town stations that a lot of people work their way up with.

His proposal was, “Would you ever want to move back to Minneapolis?” “No.” “Are you sure?” I had never spent more than maybe five days in Minneapolis since I had left for college, except for that internship, which was four weeks. I said, “No, there's absolutely no way.” He goes, “How about this, you come into town pretty often. How about the next time you're here, we've been looking for a female morning show co-host. If nothing else, the guys will hear what it's like to have a female on the show and you will have a real firm, top market that you can take with you to New York.” “Okay.”

I came into town a couple of weeks later and it ended up being so fun. I had found this spark within me that I had completely forgotten about because I was burnt out, I was taking jobs just to pay the bills, and I didn't know what was next. All of a sudden, I had this new challenge of working with two cohosts, working with two men, having to be myself and talk about my own life rather than reading a script or gossiping about someone else's life, which was one of the most soul-sucking things done. I realized, “I'm supposed to be here. I can't see it long-term but maybe I could do this temporarily since they haven't found someone for the job.” It turned into, “Let's do this for two or three weeks. Let's do this for a month. Let's do this for six months,” two years later, I'm still here.

When you feel like you're running towards this dream, this end all be all, and you get there, you are disillusioned. You're like, “Now what? This is not what I signed up for,” I'm disillusioned. You get to the point where you’re, “What's that next step for me? I'm feeling lost in translation.” This side thing that you never thought would turn into anything is part of your destiny and you start to pursue it.

You mentioned disillusioned. We're constantly in this mindset of setting goals and achieving the goals. We have this mindset that your happiness or that victory is within that goal and you're not going to find that happiness until you reach that goal, whether it's that dream job or that goal way, “Once I hit that, I'll be happy.” I found success early, I was 24 or 25 when I got that awesome opportunity. The moment of feeling so lost, confused, and wondering, “What am I supposed to do?” I had left my job at The Today Show and I had another show that I did not get renewed. I was entirely unemployed, and I broke up with my very serious boyfriend.

There was this moment where I reconnected with my faith and I felt this sense of peace and happiness, unlike anything I have ever experienced. I had the verse on my heart, “I do not worry about anything, pray about everything.” All of a sudden, I had this clicking moment where I realized it's not about that end goal, it's not about achieving that goal or dream job or that ring on your finger, it's about finding happiness for no reason at all, and that's real happiness.

It's about finding joy and fulfillment in the process and not just in what you accomplish. It's about finding gratitude in the failures and not when things work. It has allowed me to feel comfortable hitting that reset button all the time. People say, “Would you ever move?” and a lot of people our age would probably say, “No, I don't want to start over.” I'm like, “I don't have kids, I don't have a husband. Sure.” If this job left me or our show got canceled tomorrow, I'd be like, “What's next? What am I going to do?” because I know that I'm going to be fine

That's such an extremely strong mindset. So many people can get into the fixed mindset of limiting themselves so much because this is the way that they see life going and they don't want any curve balls. Heads up, here are curveballs coming and so they have a hard time course correcting.

What is it that you always say about having the multiple streams of income?

It’s wise to have multiple streams of income just in case one dries up, you've got a couple of others to choose from. Digging your will before you're thirsty. The average millionaire has seven. I encourage my friends to at least have two. I've got six, I'm on my way to seven.

That's another valuable lesson. It's not that you're doing it out of fear or to chase something or you're constantly seeking more money. It's because there's something gratifying about all the processes, seeing what you're capable of and pursuing different interests. Not getting stuck in that monotonous single lane of one skill but knowing that there are more things in the world that you can give your gifts to. There are more talents that you can cultivate when you take that risk and when you're okay with knowing that, “This might work, or this might not. It looks fun and I saw someone else doing it, so I can do it too.” It's so valuable when you share your lessons and victories because people see that within you and if she did it, I can do it too.

There's so much magic in pursuing that calling because in that small voice when you're like, “I don't know how this is all going to work out, but I'm going to put one foot in front of the other because this is where I'm feeling called.” That's where the biggest doors of opportunity open up. Even when you were at a place of, “I don't know what I should be doing,” my dad says, “You can't drive a parked car,” and you put one foot in front of the other.

You're like, “I don't know how long I'm going to be here at the radio show but this is where the soul is feeling lit up like game on.” I even asked you, “What's the end all, be all?” Your answer was beautiful. At the beginning of my career, I was like, “I'm going to do this. Here’s my five-year plan and my ten-year plan. Go, team. Go, God and me.” You have to give yourself that breathing room and room for growth. When you aren't so fixed on that end all be all, that's where the magic happens. I've seen that so much in my life and I've seen that in yours.

You can't have that tunnel vision, whether it's the people who you meet or the opportunities that come your way, if you are so set on having your own path, that's when God's going to be like, “Nope, that was cute.” When you’re not open to it, that's when you're going to get caught up in the stress and anxiety of having control issues. You need to be able to adapt to whatever comes your way and be open-minded because you could be digging and digging your way to water, not realizing that there's a water fountain there.

We finished up talking about your transition here to the radio and the magic moments.

The magic moments were in not knowing and trying. At one point, I thought I was going to go back to school. I took tours of business schools on the east coast and I did interviews, and I started studying for that GMAT, but it didn't feel right. I have aspirations of going back to school or even teaching a class. You mentioned the goals of the future and it's not something that I can put a definitive label on. It's that there are those little benchmarks along the way that I want to do that I know will continue to keep my soul on fire.

One of those things could be a continued education or writing a book or going on tour. Those are things that are ongoing and not things that are all, “In five years, I'll write it down and I might set a deadline for myself to get going.” I'm not going to restrict myself with time knowing that the greatest opportunities that I've had like where I went to college, some of the greatest jobs I’ve had and relationships and friendships that came unexpectedly were things that I didn't seek out myself and came out of nowhere when I thought I was not ready.

It's the person that you become on the way to the goal that is so much more important than the goal itself. When you can breathe through those moments where you're not quite sure what's going on, God has your back and there's peace there and you put up your hands in surrender. I even heard a quote saying how he hates it when people say, “God won't give you more than you can handle.” He's like, “Yes, he will but not more than you can handle without him by your side when you can team up with him.”

When you're at that breaking point and you surrender it all, that's where he wants us all the time. Sometimes he has to put so much on your plate and take the vision a little bit and saying, “No, little grasshopper. It's my plan, not yours.” I loved that and even what you did, it's cool that you put out some intentions out into the world and how it comes back tenfold. I want to talk about the cool encounter that has transpired about the whole event were you were with Gary Vee. Spill the beans on how this all came into fruition. I see through my Instagram story that Giselle has partnered up with Gary Vee and she's hosting an event and he's coming to in Minneapolis. Amazing on another level.

Even upon posting and seeing it, I was like, “What?” If you don't know who Gary Vaynerchuk is, you should follow him. He is a source of inspiration to take your life and your work to the next level. He's @GaryVee on Instagram. He is awesome when it comes to branding and getting rid of the BS and any excuses or insecurities that you might have. A lot of what he says echoes what I've been learning about myself over the last several years. I had put up a rant about the music industry on Twitter and maybe Instagram and someone saw my rant and said, “I loved your rant. It reminded me a lot of this guy Gary Vee,” who I was new to and I was like, “That was a nice compliment.” He goes, “I love it so much. I have this extra copy of his book, I want to send it to you.” He had no ulterior motives, no intentions of trying to get anything from me, but he had been a follower of mine and a follower of his and thought I would enjoy it and appreciate it.

Power Of The Ask: Use social media to connect, network, and inspire. This is what social media is all about, it's about being social.

Power Of The Ask: Use social media to connect, network, and inspire. This is what social media is all about, it's about being social.

I took it one step further. I always say, “Use social media to connect, network and inspire.” When someone writes to me, I always like to look at who they are and I like to follow back. I want to know who my audience is. They're the ones who are paying my bills because without them, I would have no one showing up and no one listening. It's valuable for me to get to know them, connect with them, and love them. I looked him up, realized he was a new graduate and I said, “Rather than mailing me the book, it looks like your local. Why don't we go to coffee? I would love to meet you.” We spent about an hour and a half going back and forth and I let him ask me whatever he wanted. I wanted to learn from him too.

There's so much that we can learn from the younger generations and from students. I say that like I'm a million years old and I'm not, but they are absorbing technology and media in a different way than we did when we were kids. We were experiencing the transition and hey only experienced what it is now and what it's going to an exponential level. I loved it, took a picture of it, and uploaded it even from the get-go when he first offered me in the book I use it as an example to my followers to show them this is where kindness can get you. This is what social media is all about, it's about being social. I have met people on Twitter and Instagram, even best friends.

There are definitely creepers out there, don't get me wrong but as long as you do your little bit of research, it can be valuable to you. Gary Vee saw this interaction and he either favorite it or retweeted it. From there, some of his local following saw what I was doing and they started following me as well. That night, I went home and wrote down, “I need to see Gary Vee.” He speaks all over, he has conferences and panels. The next day, I crossed it out and said, “I need to work with Gary Vee.” I didn't realize this but the next day, the promoters who were bringing Gary Vee had reached out, that was the first day. The next day after I wrote in my post it, it was in my message requests box, so I didn't see the message until about a month later.

The promoters reached out to me inviting me to this event that they were hosting in Rochester in August. I hopped on the phone with them and was going over some of what they were doing and said, “Do you want me to be a guest? I would love to host this.” After some talking back and forth, they decided to hire me as the emcee of the event. They could have said no, but what would I have lost? You’ll never know until you ask. This is something that I still cannot believe that it's happening. I'm excited and proud of it and there’s so much pressure on that opening monologue.

That makes my heart explode because I have said many times, “There is so much power in the ask. Putting yourself out there.” I even had an experience with my book launch at the mall of America. I wanted to pitch a sponsor for the fashion show. I walked into the first place because I thought, “Who would be cool to have at the fashion show? Victoria's Secret.” I walked to Victoria's Secret, I pitched the whole thing and she looks at me like a cow and a new fence post. She's like, “We've never done anything like that. That's crazy.” I said, “If you're interested, let me know what.” I gave her my card, I walked out, and I was like, “That went differently in my head.”

The second time, I walked into Calvin Klein. She said, “Let me get back to my manager, to the higher-ups in California.” She got back to me within four hours and she said, “Absolutely.” They put something in each swag bag and they sponsored the whole thing, the fashion show. Long story short, that was the catapult that brought Fabletics with Kate Hudson and other amazing sponsors. You don't know if you don't ask, I am so obsessed with that. I say, “Go, boss bold.” You have nothing to lose and everything to gain in putting yourself out there. That's where the magic happens. Giselle, thank you for leading from the front. I'm sure there are other people that are like, “I was so nervous about doing that one thing. If Giselle put herself out there and look what she landed, what can I do?”

Visibility is so important on social media. There is a sense of social media where it is about bragging and where people are very boastful. I do think that especially with women, minorities and when it comes to business, it's important to share those victories and the stories of how you got there so that you can show people that tangible way of how to get there. I shared a story recently because I got a promotion at my job, I'm an on-air personality in the morning show. “A promotion, what does that even mean?” I talked about how I want it to be involved in the business side. I walked into my boss's office when I first got the job and I said, “I want to spend at the big boys' table.” “What does that mean?” In my head and outwardly, I said, “I want to be listed in the meetings and I want to be able to have a voice. I want to know what's going on. I want to be able to learn.”

It took about a year for me to define what that was for me and then create a job role. From there was a lot of back and forth, there was a lot of him playing this game of, “You show me what you want and I'll help you get there,” but I had to show him what I wanted in order for me to help me get there. It took me putting a presentation together, taking my business card and slapping a post-it on top of it and putting the job titles that I wanted in addition to morning show host. Now, I'm the digital brand manager and I posted about it.

A lot of people think, “That's bragging. She did this, she did that.” I’ve got so many messages from women saying, “I had been wanting to ask for the raise and I was so scared, but I saw that you did that. I went into the office, I wanted a promotion and I put together an outline. I talked to my boss and she was so grateful and wondered what took me so long.” It's those little things that help us help each other. Don't get me wrong, I know that you are insecure about certain things and I get fearful of certain things. There are things that both of us are scared to ask for now in our lives and we need to have those other people see ourselves and others that is powerful.

You don't realize what that is until it's shared whether it's about professionalism or relationships. I always say if you're dealing with anxiety or depression, unfortunately, we've seen suicide in the news so much lately, talk about those things that you did or stop doing to pull yourself out because we keep seeing either you're happy or you're sad. How do we show those moments of, “It's going to be okay because I can show you that it's going to be okay?”

There needs to be more of that. Even for me, some of the times where I've made those biggest leaps, it's because, “That girl did it. That guy did it. I'm going to give it a shot.” Jump and the net will appear, but you need to have some of those people around you. That's why your inner circle is so important.

Choosing them wisely. Someone who was inspiring to you might not be inspiring to me. I have people who, for whatever reason, think that I’m fake or cocky or you can fill in any negative adjective. I had been called every single one in the book to which I say, “Don't follow me.” Find that person who makes you feel good. If for whatever reason anything I post makes you feel bad about yourself, whether it's because you're comparing yourself to me or because I rubbed you the wrong way in some capacity, that's fine. I come from a good place but I'm not for everyone and that's okay. Find a person that does make you feel okay. You can do anything and you are capable of getting what you want and deserve.

I see you doing so much on social media and it's inspirational. Do you ever experience burnout? Do you ever experience to the point where you're like, “I'm taking on so much?” There have been belts in my entrepreneurial journey where I'm feeling like things are going in a great direction and I have enough help. There are other points where I hit that point where I'm like, “I can't take on one more thing.” If you do have burnout, how do you deal with it? I would love to hear what's going on your head with that. A lot of entrepreneurs or people that are running it out in media sometimes experience.

It happens all the time. I've gotten better at managing it through the little things that I included in my daily routine that I started doing years ago. For example, when I get into bed, I don't leave my phone on vibrate, I put it on do not disturb. That has helped me sleep so much better and every single night I have it on do not disturb. If people need to reach me an emergency, I have my favorites where my phone was still ringing. I had that thing on my phone when it rings twice, they can get ahold of me. It has made all the difference where you don't see that light when you're sleeping. Also finding gratitude and purpose in what you're doing and not just doing it because it's part of the routine.

Instagram used to be putting up a picture every single day, now it's, “What is a message that I can give every single day?” I'm going to have those moments where I want to share that cute picture of me or if my dog. A lot of the times, I try to make it a little bit more heartfelt or I put my audience first in everything that I do. What are my people going through? I need to check in with my people. What are they experiencing now? What's the burnout that they're going through from their families, professional lives, from the woes and how can I make their lives better. That helps me to have some fulfillment but also, I've got a lot of burnout.

My biggest burnout has come from YouTube because I used to do all my own editing and I would get sick of looking at myself or hearing my voice. It took a long time to get used to that. I had to take a break because I wanted to get good and comfortable and find that positive in a couple of social platforms versus all of them. If I had a bigger team or more time, I would love to do all of it. I hope that I can eventually get there. That's definitely on my goals list and being able to upload regularly. Instagram, you have the live feature, you have the video feature, you have the photo feature that's all-encompassing and I try to use that as a way to condense everything else. I also have listed off the pressure of having everything be entirely current and instead of trying to make my content evergreen.

There have been weeks or two weeks at a time where I'm uploading pictures and none of them are new. They are all old pictures, not from two or three years ago where I don't even look like myself, but in the last maybe six months or maybe a throwback picture. I'm still uploading consistently and I'm still keeping those algorithms alive to push to my profile and I'm not going completely blackout on a platform.

At the same time, it's still giving me some time too in some ways disconnect without disconnecting because I want to be able to enjoy certain moments. I’ve got a new puppy. People ask like, “Why aren't you posting more pictures with her?” I want to enjoy her. I have one day where I took a bunch of pictures of her and those are the only pictures that I've been uploading or pictures from when she was still a foster puppy. No one knows the difference.

I'm always about leverage, automation and delegation. As far as the team around you, do you have an assistant now or the go-to girl? If you do have an assistant, when was that timeframe of going this was a good time to pull the trigger?

I have someone who I go to when I need help, but I don't have someone full-time. I have the desire but also, I want to be hands-on with everything that I do. In that sense, I need to get better at delegating. It would take much longer for me to teach someone to see things the way that I do and to edit it the way that I do, but I'm not even having time to edit it myself. Maybe I should invest that time like I might invest my money into something and find someone who can and find those things. What are the things that make me happy? For example, responding to comments and tweets.

Now, I'm still able to manage that but it is getting harder and harder as my following gets bigger. It allows me to stay grounded in what I'm doing and remember why I do what I'm doing, which is ultimately to have that real-life connection with my people. I do need to get better at it. I have those moments where I realized, “I am burning at both ends and I need to make time to exercise. I need to make time to cook myself a meal and not just eating McDonald’s or Taco Bell on my way to my next meeting because that's not doing anything for my body. That's probably the biggest thing that I'm working on now.

Power Of The Ask: Having a clean house is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Power Of The Ask: Having a clean house is the best thing you can do for yourself.

All I can come up with is that routine and that consistency. I will say that having a clean house is the best thing you can do for yourself. I do love to clean. I don't always have time to clean. Every now and then I do need to have someone come in and help me clean my house because my brother told me, and he didn't make this up by any means but, “Messy bed, messy head.” It makes such a difference when you have a clean home, it will make you feel better versus having the clothes that you throw on that couch or it starts to get dusty over here, that definitely will get to your head.

You want to have a place, a sanctuary that when you come home you look forward to it. Even if you've been living out of a suitcase, maybe you're in a hotel room, but still coming home to that clean hotel room and having some sort of organization in that place where you recharge every single day is so important. If you're going invest in something, having someone to help you clean or organized might be the first place that you need to do it.

Even from the level of the influencer that you are, you're like, “I'm putting one foot in front of the other. I don't have it all figured out, but these are some different things that have helped me.” I feel like I'm in a very similar boat to you. What do you outsource? What do you delegate? I'm working on that. Thank you for giving us breathing room that you don't have it all figured out.

No, I don't. I recommend that you do this all the time too is asking yourself, “What is my why?” Why am I doing this? When you do start saying yes to so many things or you get asked to speak all over everywhere. You're saying constantly saying yes, wanting to see, feel, and touch more people. You want to connect, network and work with these awesome companies, businesses and other influencers around the world. All of a sudden you realize, “I have not had any time to myself.”

It has become a routine and you start to lose that fire. It becomes something that you perform rather than something that you're experiencing. Either hitting that reset button or having that “me” time or having that moment where you go, “Why am I doing this again?” Having a moment with God. What is this? What does it mean? Where am I going? Why am I doing this? Am I still going in the direction that I need to be going in or am I going in this direction because I'm following?

There's so much wisdom there. I ask myself, “Is this a good thing or a God thing?” Even my executive producer was like, “Stefanie, there's a lot going on,” these are all good projects. She said, “I want you to make yourself a list of your to-do, your to-stop and then your automation and delegation. Let's get this all figured out. Take a deep breath.” “Thank you, Crystal.” She has been my lifesaver.

Having her take on even the online course that I'm creating with the Boss Like Blueprint and she's like, “Just step-by-step, one foot in front of the other.” I'm like, “Thank you.” Part two, we flip it around and I need to interview you. I want to finish up with a couple of closing questions after we do the lightning round with the lady boss. If you wouldn't have started with what you started with going into media, what would you have into?

I would have been a teacher. I was at the final round of interviews for Teach for America and I didn't show up to my last interview because the day before, someone called me out and they said, “You'd be a great teacher, but you don't want to be a teacher. You're afraid to pursue what you want to do.” It was someone who I'd never even met before and they were right.

It's amazing when God puts those angels in your path for such a time as this. People would be surprised to know that you spend so much time doing.

No one's surprised that I spent so much time working. I'm trying to think of, “What do I spend time doing a lot of time doing?” I love driving, but that's not much of a surprise. I'm so open about a lot of things, I don't know if you are surprised. Cooking is something that keeps people for whatever reason I surprised by. I love to cook. Chopping vegetables is like therapy to me. Don't ask me why but I love chopping vegetables. Onions and garlic are my specialties.

Your celebrity crush?

The dad from This is Us.

Chipotle or Chick-fil-A?

Chipotle.

Your favorite way to spend downtime like you have any?

Church with my family. That's one of my favorite things to do. If I could have the perfect warning, it would be wake up, yoga, coffee, church, Mexican food.

What are you absolutely addicted to?

Diet Coke. I've cut it down to maybe one a day, but it's an association type of a thing where when I'm eating a certain type of food I need to have my diet coke. I've tried giving it up and I can’t. I never keep it in my house and I only ever buy it from the vending machine at my office.

What are you reading now?

It's Own The Moment by Carl Lentz. It’s at Hillsong Church in New York and it's the type of book where you can start it wherever. I started months ago and I'm just picking and choosing chapters. I always read a book that I gave to you which is Competent Women's Devotional. I've had it for probably seven years and it's something that I carry with me. If I'm carrying it with me, I give it away.

Best piece of advice you've ever received?

Learn how to do it all. This was one of the first conversations that we had because you were trying to figure out what to delegate for this podcast. I said, “Even if you hire someone to edit or produce your materials, learn how to do it.” When you do learn how to do everything in your field, it gives you such an appreciation for the crew or the people who are doing it. It also can give you some authority if you realize that, “This could be better” or “I don't think you're doing it quite to the standard that you should be.” Let me help you. Let's help each other. When someone doesn't show up, someone's sick, wear the other hats. That is valuable, and it also adds some uniqueness to your resume, especially in media where a lot of people, all they do is they know how to read a teleprompter on a camera. It’s going to get you far. Sitting there and looking pretty won’t work anymore.

Most embarrassing moment?

I don't have a lot of those. I’ve learned from morning radio every day can be embarrassing. I have had dates, ex-boyfriends called on the air without me knowing and talk about relationships on the air. There's very little, if anything at this point, that would embarrass me.

If you could spend one day with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

My dad. He's my best friend in the whole wide world and I feel like the two of us are workaholics. It's not often that the two of us get to spend more than an hour at a time. I do talk to him on the phone every single night, but it would be great to have a full day, just the two of us uninterrupted. No mom, no sibling, but just hang out with my dad.

Favorite food?

Tacos. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night. Quesadillas, enchiladas and tacos.

Who inspires you or who do you aspire to be like?

There are a lot of people who I'm inspired by now, but I don't think there's any one single person who I want to be. I'm inspired by you, Gary Vee, by the kindness of my mom, and the speaking abilities of my pastor at church. It's not one single person, it's little nuggets of things that people are doing and even inspired by. I was on a podcast with two kids who graduated from St. Thomas and I'm seeing how they have this podcast going every single week and I'm like, “If you can do it.”

That's such a beautiful mindset to be in because sometimes when you can get caught up in that one person, it starts to get unhealthy versus I'm going to be the best version of myself and I'm going to pull inspiration from little glimpses that my soul sees. That's a piece of my puzzle. Which would be harder to give up, coffee or chocolate?

Chocolate. I have chocolate every single night.

I would not have expected that. I am coffee all the way if you want to know.

I keep chocolate in my medicine cabinet and I always have chocolate in my house.

Describe yourself in one word.

Adaptable.

You really are. Thanks for inspiring. If you could swap lives with one person for a day, who would it be and why?

Who would you?

I'm going to be real with you. Oprah. I want to know what it would be like to walk in her shoes. I am on another level, I am enamored by the lives that she's touched and the impact that she's made. Just the way that she thinks about things would be fascinating.

Power Of The Ask: Having a better understanding of what other people experience on a daily basis and the way that they're able to handle things is a valuable lesson.

Power Of The Ask: Having a better understanding of what other people experience on a daily basis and the way that they're able to handle things is a valuable lesson.

Maybe Oprah for me, but circa 2000 when everything was happening and when everything was built. That may be something for me. Even someone completely different from who I am like Laverne Cox or someone who sees the world completely differently, who has a different skin tone and a different sexual orientation. Just to have a better understanding of what they experience on a daily basis. The way that people look at them, the comments that they get from people and the way that they're able to handle things, that would be the most valuable lesson.

That's super strong. Those are both super valid. If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?

Wonder Woman, my absolute favorite. I do have a Wonder Woman costume and it's one of those all-out costume and old school comic book Wonder Woman. I want to update mine and get one like Gal Gadot. Wonder Woman was one of the first characters who, when I was growing up, I looked at her and I said, “She looks like me.” I had Barbie dolls and Barbie doesn't look like me. There was Princess Jasmine, but still not quite. There was something about Wonder Woman where she was ambiguous enough and I saw someone who was strong and powerful and didn't need a man. Someone who was going for it and believed in love, I thought that was beautiful.

When I saw the movie, I went to the first showing and five minutes in, I started crying. Back to that visibility thing, you don't realize how rare it is to see an all-women cast of warriors or a woman who is that strong and powerful until you see it and then you go, “Where has this been my whole life?” My dream is to get a new updated costume, go to the hospital and visit the kids.

If someone met you and said, “I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots, what's my first step?”

My question is, “What's stopping you?” It’s first figuring out what is it that's getting in your way and why aren't you doing it. Whether that's insecurity, a toxic relationship, an unsupportive family or a financial difficulty, it's first getting rid of all of those obstacles. From there, setting your goals and finding that competence that you need within yourself to know that you're capable. A lot of times, my competence didn't come from knowing where I was going or knowing what that first step was, it was knowing that there was nothing in my way. Usually, the biggest obstacle in your way is yourself.

Often, we have all of these voices of doubt inside of our heads and there's that one little one that says, “I could do it,” that to me is God. Listening to that little voice, even though it seems small, can actually deafen out all of the other voices in your head. If you have that little glimmer of hope that against all of that, you can, but maybe I can listen to that one. Tell them to shut up, be the boss of your own life and take control. You're going to have to do that a lot. Knowing that you're going to have a lot of moments and I know that you go through this too, where you're like, “I don't know if I could do this,” even though you're doing it. Even though a lot of people might think that you're significantly further ahead, they're always going to be those things that are holding and pushing you back and getting in your way. You have to constantly reset and have those moments that I'm made for this.

Couldn't have said it any better, Giselle. Any words of wisdom you want to leave? How can people connect with you? I felt so equipped and empowered by following your journey. When you can find those people that have little pieces of your soul that are stepping into different things that you want to do, let those be the things that help you on your journey. I want people to know where to follow you and connect with you. You have such a beautiful soul, I want to share you with the world.

I’m most connected on Instagram. Being on the platform I hated the most because I thought it was so superficial and all about the likes and pictures. For me, I made it a source of constant inspiration and connection. It has many multidimensional platforms that if you use it, it can be a great place to know, love and share with your people. @GiselleUgarte is where you can find me on Instagram and I make all of my stories and my direct messages public, so anyone can reach out to me.

Thank you so much for sharing your light with us and putting yourself out there. Such a beautiful transition that you made from talking about all the other people and things in the media to opening up your own heart. That takes courage and confidence even when you aren't feeling confident. You have blazed a trail and become bossful that I talk about that all the time.

Thank you for being that for me and countless others. You're making you for being that. We're stronger together. It's great to see women not seeing each other as competition but as competent. We can go through this together. It's not this winner takes all, it's that I can see you from the top or I see you from the top, but it's up to you if you want to climb those steps with me ending there.

We are so thankful that you tuned in. Our challenge is for you to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Thanks.

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About Giselle Ugarte

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After spending nearly ten years in Los Angeles, Giselle is proud to call Minneapolis home - again! You can listen to her every weekday, from 6 to 10am, on Mornings with Ben, Dana & Giselle on the all-new Go 96.3FM.

Giselle is a multimedia personality, writer and producer (and, occasionally, a commercial actress and lifestyle model), who has been featured by brands and outlets all over the world. She's especially driven by social media (more than 300k followers), relationships and storytelling, and she's almost always working early mornings, late nights, weekends and holidays. Each day welcomes a new office (from the radio station to the news room - and everything vlog-worthy at home and in between), a wide range of demographics (from 16 to 66), and multiple job titles (from backpack producer to LIVE on-air talent). She really can do it all - and often does a lot at once. She's also available for creative direction, digital consulting, public speaking and private coaching.

You might recognize her as a featured contributor and face for big names, like COVERGIRL, Proactiv+, The Today Show (Australia), E! Entertainment, Dash Radio and HOLLYWIRE, to name a few. And you probably didn't know that she's a long-time gymnastics coach for Special Olympics, an ambassador for Secondhand Hounds, a captain for Best Christmas Ever, and a hand-picked member of the Ballpark Enhancement Committee for the Minnesota Twins. She wears her heart on her sleeve and is passionate about bringing out the best from everyone. Also, she’s a die-hard fan of her alma mater, USC, and the Minnesota Vikings.

Always learning new tricks, click one of the links below for more - updates, unfiltered thoughts and opportunities for collaborations!

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How To Master Your Mindset with Emily Frisella

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A lot of times, when people aren't mastering their mindset or trying to focus on being better, it's because they're taking a brief delay from what they're actually focused on. Emily Frisella, renowned author at Fit Home & Health and Food in Session co-host, says you have to set your goals. You have to write that stuff down and make a plan of action on how to accomplish those things. She says you don't just wake up one day and you're that. It's building your personal brand and starting to do more on social media to reach an audience, being engaging, being authentic, commenting back to people, liking people's photos and commenting to them, just being a real person. Voyeurism is a real thing. It's a natural instinct in humans to watch other people. You need to get out there and let people watch you do what you do, hone your craft, so when you do come out with your book or your brand or your courses, you have that goal and the opportunity to reach that goal, and you're going to dominate it. Learn the steps to calling the shots as Emily shares how you can get from the fixed mindset to the growth or the faith mindset.

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Listen to the podcast here:

How To Master Your Mindset with Emily Frisella

I am so excited about bringing on my very dear friend and powerhouse entrepreneur, the boss to be reckoned with. You have been such an inspiration in my life on so many different levels. We met when we both got our first book published. Emily's cookbook has helped me to get much better in the kitchen. I still have a long way to go. It's been so fun watching your journey because not only are you a published author, you also got an award for being the top five entrepreneurs in St. Louis and that is an incredible accomplishment.

Thanks for having me.

You’ve got so many things in the works and you're just hitting on all cylinders as a boss. You do an amazing job on Instagram on sharing to people how to master your mindset. I want to turn this time over to you. I want you to share your back story. You've been an entrepreneur since you pretty much came out of the womb.

I grew up on a farm and I feel like that’s where my work ethic came from because it was the farm life. My dad owned his own trucking companies and brokerage firms my entire life. I always saw from a young age what an entrepreneur lifestyle was and people always ask a lot about, “How do you find balance?” They ask me that because I'm married and my husband's also an entrepreneur. I feel like I have balance but again, I'm very flexible. A lot of people consider balance is nine to five, go home, have dinner and it’s family time. I never had that growing up. I never knew what that really even meant because my mom was a stay at home mom, my dad would get up at 5:00 AM, go check on the cattle, go to work, get home at seven, eat dinner, go to the farm and work until 11:00 PM, come home, sleep and do it again. That's just the lifestyle that I had growing up.

For me to be married to an entrepreneur, it just works because that's all I know. I feel like I get a lot of my entrepreneur spirit from my dad because I just saw everything that happens, whether the good, the bad, the ugly, the fun stuff you celebrate. When I was twenty years old, I started my own business. I had my first brick and mortar business, it was a flower shop and a luxury gift boutique, wedding rentals, tuxedo rentals, had that for several years. I chose to sell the business, the land, the property, everything, and move to St. Louis. I worked as an operations and accounting manager to a graphic design firm for about eight years. I loved it, but it wasn't my own. I worked my way up the ladder, I was the highest I could be without being an owner. I knew I couldn't be an owner because it was a family business. I like this now, but am I going to like it in twenty years? I knew I wouldn’t. I always had a passion for cooking, just growing up on the farm and I had been writing a cookbook. I was going to do it in conjunction with keeping my career.

One day my husband and I were talking and he goes, “Why don't you just quit there and do your cookbook and do that shit?” He said I was going to be so much happier with that. I said, “Are you sure?” He said yes. That was in December 2014, we had that conversation and I went back from Christmas to my career and I told them I'm going to be leaving. In February 2015, I started doing my own thing. I'd had my business, Fit Home & Health for about two years before that as a side project. In February, it took off and I started doing my own thing. It started with the cookbook, but then it started building into more, speaking engagements, teaching about nutrition. I speak about body image with women and not just all the body positive movement because I feel that's okay but there needs to be more movement towards health.

Body positive things should be being positive about your stance but looking forward to where you want to be. A lot of people look at it as an overall acceptance and they don't try to make those strides to be healthier and it's not necessarily the aesthetics of it, it's your health. I started speaking to Girl Scout groups and young teenagers learning about their health and nutrition because I didn't know anything about that growing up. I’m hosting a workshop coming up for women in business. People need clarity. How do you get from A to B? There’s so much gray area now that you find in the internet, you’ve done it, you’ve lived it.

Master Your Mindset: Body positive things should be being positive about your stance and looking forward to where you want to be.

Master Your Mindset: Body positive things should be being positive about your stance and looking forward to where you want to be.

What I think is so neat about you, a lot of entrepreneurs have all these great ideas when they're in the shower. When they get out of the shower, how do we execute on them? You put together a game plan to back you up, you have that accountability, and you've built that tribe around you to help you to execute on those different things. I'm excited about your workshop and help you in whatever way that I can. I think the more that women can surround themselves with that tribe and that accountability and how to choose, the likelihood of them actually executing on their dreams skyrockets. We have those people and then the go-tos on how to make it happen. Kudos to you for having ideas that you’ve executed successfully.

You and I have a different approach to things. We’re more of a masculine energy. I feel like a lot of women are timid of really going after what they want because they're afraid of the approval. Many people seek approval, we're ingrained and trained to seek approval since kindergarten. You don't want to get picked last for Red Rover or tag like you do whatever you can to seek approval and to gain that approval from other people, your peers like in junior high, first day of school, what lunch table you’re going to sit at. Are you going to sit with the cool kids, the nerds, the jocks? Where are you going to be at? I think people have been trained for twenty years of their life to seek that approval, “I want to be liked so this is what I'm going to do.” As soon as you start owning yourself and your actions, that's when things really start to skyrocket because you attract the tribe that you want, the people around you. That's what's going to set you apart, to have those people backing you up and driving you and really clapping for you.

I love that one quote. There are people going to look at you and be like, “Why are you doing that? You're crazy.” After that, they're going to ask if you're hiring.

I feel like everybody's had that happen in their life. I've posted about that before on Instagram, when I was about to quit my job to write my book. People thought, “Are you really going to do that? Do you think you'll sell any copies, what are you going to do after you write your book?” I didn't realize how they're meaning that and the disbelief that they had in me because I was so adamant and I believed in myself so much. What do you mean what am I going to do? This is the start of everything.

I love that because so many people, when doubt enters their mind by other people themselves, they just kneel to that. That's the opportunity where you can truly step into your brain power, dominate that doubt and that's what you've done. Go follow this amazing Emily Frisella. Even just reading your post, if I'm ever having a hard day or I'm in a frustration mode, I've always asked myself, “How do I get from the fixed mindset to the growth or the faith mindset?” You are one of my top five people on Instagram because you help people to get out of their own head and really look at it from a different perspective. I would love to know your top three things that you would tell someone who is not in a healthy mindset.

Don't fall into the pit of comparison because so many people do that. They constantly compare themselves and they feel like they had this going on, “I'm not going to be able to do that.” I could've turned on Food Network or looked at Rachel Ray or Martha Stewart and then never have done anything about it because I knew that I'm on the bottom rung of this ladder. The thing is that I knew there was no book out there written by me. That's why I did it.

I want to talk about that for a second, because I talk with a lot of women in the different empowerment events that I do. The number one thing that I get from women because I asked a lot of times at the end is if I fired my fear, I would. In 24 hours, this is what I'll do and here's my accountability partner to keep me accountable to my goal. With three steps, a lot of times I ask, “What would you do?” They said, “I don't want to write it down.” Number one, I tell them there's power in the pen and then number two, why don't you want to do that? There is only one you on the planet and a strong song to sing, if that goes unsung, you're going to take that to the grave.

A lot of people missed their opportunities or even their calling, and they don't follow through on their passions because they immediately see these people that have done it or doing it. Where do you think those people started at? Everyone's always starting from some place and I feel like people tend to forget that in this high gloss over glammed Instagram world that we live in. I feel like no other social media exists except Instagram and so many people are driven to that because it's curation. Sometimes I'm typing in Instagram and it's like therapy. I'm speaking to myself because no matter what high gloss world you see in Instagram, everyone posting that stuff, they have bad days too. There's a hell of a lot more good days than there are bad days and you have to remember that. Another thing is I like to look at those days as opportunities to kick ass the next day. Turn these into challenges and things into a bigger opportunity. You build your confidence through failures and keep moving. Otherwise, you're never going to feel confident. You fall down, don't get up, you don't learn anything. You fall down, get up, and keep going. That's confidence. It's what confidence is like, a rung in the ladder. No matter how many failures you have because that's what's going to make you better. There's power in confidence.

You have impacted me. I think people have to be very self-aware of saying, let's say there's someone up there that you really look up to but not everybody's going to resonate with that person, but they'll resonate with you and you might be the only person that can speak life into that person. Shining your light is so important because that can be truly the key to unlock someone else's dream.

A big one is take ownerships of your actions and your attitude because I feel so many people, they get overly emotional over things and they make rash decisions in their business, career, or relationships because of that. You have to master your mind before you can master anything else. I feel like it's something where if you learned to take actions for your attitude and how you put yourself out there, that's huge. I'm super laid back but if something irks me, I don't lash out. I think about it, I really consume how am I going to react to this, what is the best thing? I'm very analytical in that aspect as to make the best decision and a healthier choice for myself, my career and my future. If something happens with the business, a business deal goes bad and for a bad reason on someone's part, I think about it, “Why do they do this?” It's never necessarily sympathy for them as to what happened, but it's because I'm angry and I'm frustrated. It's me choosing not to fire back an email or a text saying how mad I am. I’ll ask myself, “Why did this happen?” Afterwards, I can react appropriately because you never know what could happen in the future and you don't want to burn those bridges that you haven't even got a chance to cross yet. Your actions and attitude are everything.

I think really putting it into the right perspective, especially if we are type A bosses, we’ll react very quickly. I think if we let a little bit of time pass and take a step back think, “Is this going to matter in a year? Is this going to matter in a few years?”

That took years of experience and me learning because when I had my business I was twenty, something went bad, I would fire back immediately. Mastery mindset and growth mindset, that's a never-ending lesson in your life. It's something that every single encounter that you have is a chance to hone that skill.

Master Your Mindset: You build your confidence through failures.

Master Your Mindset: You build your confidence through failures.

To really be bummed for a minute and not a month.

Most of the stuff doesn't matter. How many times have you gotten mad and you reacted so quickly and harshly? You look back and it’s embarrassing to think that you got so upset over it because there really was nothing. I find one being just stop comparing yourself to others it ties in with the whole stop seeking approval. I think setting goals that if you feel like you're falling in that pit of comparison, go back and set your goals because a lot of times they're sitting down. Most of them when that comparison happens, they're sitting down after dinner or they're being still, and they’re cruising Instagram. Since they're not actually working or doing something, they feel like, “Those people are doing so much more than I am.” They forgot that they just walked out of their office 30 minutes earlier but if you're doing that, stop there. Go on your notepad on your phone or your pen and paper. I put it down and I write down all my goals because then I know I've got this. For some reason it's like magic where it just diminishes all those comparison thoughts and doubts.

It’s just shifting that mindset to realizing what environment are you in when you're having these doubts and these feelings, what are you doing? A lot of times when people aren't mastering their mindset or trying to focus on being better, it's because they're taking a brief delay from what they're actually focused on. I feel bad. Think about it, if you're sick and you're not in the gym for a week, you see some fitness chick on Instagram, you're like, “I'm such a fat piece of crap. I work out all the time anyway, I just feel that way because I'm not actively doing it right now.” A lot of times when people feel like the way, it's an insecurity subconsciously because they feel like they're not doing enough.

When the reality is you have to set those goals, you have to write that stuff down and make a plan of action. That's what I'm excited for your Boss Life Blueprint because it's going to give you a plan of action, how to accomplish those things for so many people, like you said earlier on the podcast. People don't act on that because they see their goals, “I want to be a New York Times bestseller.” How are you going to get there? People forget that part of it, the clarity of the steps to get there. You don't just wake up one day and you're that, it's building your personal brand. It started doing more on Instagram and social media to reach an audience. Being engaging, being authentic, commenting back to people, liking people's photos and commenting to them, being a real person. Voyeurism is a real thing. That's why people like watching reality TV, they like watching video podcasts. It's a natural instinct in humans to watch other people, so it's something where you need to get out there and let people watch you do what you do, hone your craft, so when you do come out with your book or your brand or your courses, you have that goal, the opportunity to reach that goal and you're going to dominate it.

You had so many good elements in that, but the number one thing is getting into the massive action zone. You sit on Instagram and you're flipping through and that's the comparison thing. It's the thief of all joy. On Instagram, you do such an amazing job of cheering other people on, on their journey and you are raising human being. You and Nicole Craig, you guys know each other. I just can't even put into words how much I adore both of you because you're so real. You're so authentic. You love people and you genuinely want to see people succeed. I think you can switch on over from the woe is me to you know what inspiration, I'm all about it. When you get into that mindset of the abundance, that's where the ideas and the creativity can flow. There's no creativity when you're in the comparison zone.

The thing is that people need to get out of the zone because it is a mindset practice of switching over from comparison to inspiration. You can look at someone that's doing well and you can either have the choice of, you can hate on them and say bad things in your mind about them or you can be, “I want to do that,” or fires you up. When I see a cool workout video of this girl, I get excited, I have a hard time going to sleep. I can’t wait to go to the gym the next day. It is important to cheer other people on, because one, it's the right thing to do and I feel like that is the sign of someone that truly wants others to do well. It's not you bullying everybody, saying how much better you are than everybody else because you're not. If Instagram went away tomorrow, what's going to happen?

That actually brings up another good point, building a brand. You do a lot of speaking, you do a lot of traveling because you're building your brand if Instagram dies. We do a lot of the same things in our own spaces. It's important to do that kind of stuff because if Instagram dies tomorrow, and all of your followers are gone, you want to have something that those people are going to want to search you and find you. They like you as a person, they like your product, and you've interacted with them and they want to continue that friendship. If Instagram does die because some people base everything off of social media, which is a great platform to build on but you can’t build an entire business based on Instagram.

I think that's why it's such a strong mindset of just tapping into a number of different types of pools and hitting on a number of different cylinders and that's why I think I'm so excited about what you're doing, this powerful event because you can really connect on a heart level. You can definitely connect on so many different ways in social media, but there's something about being eye to eye, belly to belly, and really to have an experience with a group of like-minded people and to really be able to be inspired by them, ask questions. Your combination to your five closest friends, the books that you read, and the places that you go. If you can really get yourself out of your comfort zone, go to an event like that, it's just amazing how you do something is how you do everything.

I’m a lot of excited you’d be there, be on the panel and share all your knowledge with everybody. I think it's going to be amazing. It's not going to be this hold hands and hug type and make friendship necklaces. It's going to be the truth.

Let's go back to the mindset early on in the game for you. Obviously, you started out as an entrepreneur at nineteen years old. What was the lowest moment you had as an entrepreneur and how did you get yourself out of there?

Lowest moment was which you and I talked about this before. It's ego. It's keeping your ego in check because your ego can bury you. I grew up in a very small town, it was 2,000 people in a farming town. The actual city of the town maybe had 200 people there but it was something where I felt, they're building more my ego more so than my self-esteem. I'm doing stuff and my ego got the best of me. I didn't take the time to truly study the business because I had launched it right at Valentine's Day. You figure you have a flower shop. Valentine's Day, there's Mother's Day, prom, Easter, we have all these holidays and money will just roll it in. I had six full-time employees and so my overhead wasn't crazy. I was buying all this inventory and then I didn't realize that in the summertime, July and August, nobody buys flowers.

Master Your Mindset: Some people base everything off of social media, which is a great platform to build on, but you can’t build an entire business based on Instagram.

Master Your Mindset: Some people base everything off of social media, which is a great platform to build on, but you can’t build an entire business based on Instagram.

Pretty soon because of all my inventory that I had to keep stocked and my staff, even though it's only six, I had my mortgage on the business and land and around the building. My bank account got down to $42 because of my ego. I was more focused on looking the part as a successful businessperson instead of humbling myself, taking a step back, and doing what was best financially for the business, my employees, and myself. I had to put my own money into the business to pay these people. It took about a good two months to get back on solid footing. That moment that I saw $42.86 in my bank, I'll never forget it.

That was a huge wakeup call and I was so much more focused on my business and I started reading more, doing more research and learning a lot more. My dad has been a successful entrepreneur his entire life. I didn't even ask him for help. I sold the business about three and half years after that and it was a strong six-figure business by the time I sold it because I had gotten so good at what I was trying to do. I immediately became super focused and I had that mindset shift which was a total slap in the face at the time, but I feel like it was helpful. At the time it was terrifying, but now I look back and I'm so grateful because at that moment, every single thing in my life changed.

Didn’t J.K. Rowling say rock bottom was the moment that was the best peace in her life? She was able to up level. The more I talk to entrepreneurs, the more that I hear that story. For me, my rock bottom point, I was six months into the business. I had biggest ego, I couldn't fit through the door. I was broke and I said, “God, this is what I feel that you called me to but I'm going nowhere.” I got very upset. When He humbled me, knocked me over the head and said, “When you want to get yourself out of your own way and you want to become humble and cultural and teachable, I'm going to open doors that no man can shut.” It was shifting where your heart is, shifting your ego is, if you can shrink that, all bets are off. I love that component.

You know what the change was? It wasn't about us anymore. We made about other people. That's when things start working. That's what I think is so amazing because I've never been focused on the money issue, making money. That's always the byproduct of what you do. I care about people losing weight, making my recipes, or people saying that their husbands never want to eat healthy but they were a type 1 diabetic and now they're out of a diabetic rage because they've been eating healthy and they're good. The deli I go to or the grocery store, he listens to my podcast and he's lost over 120 pounds, cooking my recipes and working out. He’s actually trying to do stuff and just the message, the DMs I got on Instagram. People put me in tears over something that I did, that I don't even think is a big deal, but it's the way to impact people. When you actually start caring about helping others. That's the best paycheck there is.

Even for me, Emily, how you've impacted my life. I want you to share a little bit more about your podcast and also about your new book coming out because this is going to help a lot of people. I think a lot of people, especially if they haven't been raised in like the healthy mindset, they think, that's for the skinny people or that's for really the people that are always hitting the gym. Even those little tweaks can make all the difference in the world. The gal who did my hair and makeup from WarPaint International said, “I just decided to draw a line in the sand and start to eat healthy and start to work out,” and I'm so proud of her. She's already lost ten pounds. I love that you make it so simple that these are actually recipes that we can master in the kitchen.

The podcast is called Food in Session. It’s a playoff of class in session. It's a food education because my cohost Mindy Musselman and I, we have been friends for ten years and we couldn't find a podcast that we liked that was more of just general health, here's how to do it. Everything was so based on a diet, like either all keto are all vegan or vegetarian. It was always just a strong sway towards one or the other. She's a registered dietician and a diabetes educator. We're like, “Why don't we just have a podcast together and help people just make those steps and we don't talk about the scientific reasoning behind it?” Nobody wants to hear that crap. It's boring. It's more of these two friends hanging out, having conversation style type of podcast and we talk about how to make your dinners healthier, how to travel and stay on plan or hotel workouts.

We just did a lot of very simple things you can apply to your daily life to make better choices like tricks to get your water in more every day and things like that. Our favorite finds that we find for health and fitness. I like it because it's just something that everybody can take something away from it, we have a great audience. Listenership is amazing because they love our little weird random rants. We just have fun. It's a way to educate people but in a fun way because I feel you retain it because with some of these podcasts that are so overly scientific, you have to be focused or in the zone to hear it or you're just like, “I don't know what they're even talking about.” You don't want to listen to it. A lot of that was inspired through with my first book and then also the second book is to make recipes that people can actually make at home because people are busy.

The whole reason that really even I started doing cookbooks is because I wanted to make healthy food, but I would go and try to find a healthy cookbook and I would be Googling ingredients. You can't find it in a regular grocery store. I want to make sure I could make a book that everything is budget friendly. You can get it all one grocery store, no matter where you live. It's not expensive things, and put a picture with every recipe so you know how the thing’s supposed to look like. I do nutrition breakdown. No matter what kind of diet you're on, you could follow it and know exactly what you're eating, what you're consuming. All the recipes take less than 30 minutes and it's usually what people already have on hand anyway. I do have some protein powder recipes that if you're in the fitness world you would already have that too. Nobody wants to be a slave to their kitchen. People get so intimidated by healthy cooking or meal prep because they see on Instagram, they can make 80 meals at a time all over their kitchen, that takes a lot of time so they don't want to do it. I just want to give people real world stuff they can use to have results.

Master Your Mindset: The whole reason that I started doing cookbooks is because I wanted to make healthy food.

Master Your Mindset: The whole reason that I started doing cookbooks is because I wanted to make healthy food.

Thank you for keeping it simple for me. Emily, I want to switch on over to the Lightning Round with the Lady Boss. If you wouldn't have started with what you started with, being an author and doing what you do with the cookbooks, what would you have gone into?

Landscaping. I have a degree in horticulture too.

What wouldn't you be surprised that you spend so much time doing?

Does experimenting with recipes count? I spend a lot of time doing that. A lot of people think it's a one and done thing. For every recipe, the post on Instagram, there are probably two to five failed ones before that or probably you driving around on my old truck.

Chipotle or Chick-Fil-A?

Chick-Fil-A. I actually only ate one thing there though. I'm boring. I like stuff. I just get a Cool Wrap.

Keep it simple. There's nothing wrong with that. Your favorite way to spend downtime?

At our farm, outside.

What are you absolutely addicted to?

Diet Coke. I have one every day.

Everybody's got their thing.

I don't drink coffee or any caffeine, but my one Diet Coke a day in the afternoon is usually my thing.

What is the best piece of advice you've ever received?

I posted for my dad that you don't deserve support, you earn support. A lot of people do things. They just expect people to just support them for not doing anything yet, but you have to take action and able to earn that from people.

Most embarrassing moment?

It would probably be on a first date when I got a little sick from some food and had to use the restroom, that was embarrassing. I had to go home because it was so bad. I think it was food poisoning. I was puking and it was terrible.

You are human.

That's why everything happens for a reason because then I wouldn't have met my husband.

If you were to spend one day with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

I would say Julia Child, I really like her. If you don't know her story, it's long. You should go in and read it because she became a world-famous chef by complete accident through her trials and tribulations.

A lot of times, when you have that rock bottom moment, that is the thing when everything changes. Describe yourself in one word.

I would say creative.

If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?

Super Woman, so I can do everything.

If someone met you and said, “I want to become the boss of my own life and call the shots. What's my first step?”

You need to figure out who you are. A lot of people lose who they are in life because from seeking approval or a competitive comparison. A lot of people think they like things that they don't necessarily like because they've been told to. I always say if fashion magazines weren't around and Instagram wasn't around, you weren't sure what the trends were, what would you buy in the store when you walked in? People dress for other people. They dress because they feel that it's cool or what they're supposed to wear, but what do you actually love? What is your drive and passion? I feel like it's taken some time to really reflect on yourself as to what you love and who you truly are. A lot of people want to be an entrepreneur. They do it with just something that they think is going to make them money versus what their actual passions are.

You’ve got to dig deep to ground yourself. That's really good, solid advice. What is your definition of a boss?

Someone that is very self-aware in their skin. They identify with themselves very well, they know their tendencies, they acknowledge others and what their strong suits are and help others build those up. You help build other people based on what they might have their blinders on to their own gifts.

You definitely are that definition.

Thank you.

Any last words of wisdom? Emily, you’ve shared so many beautiful pieces of wisdom and insight.

I think it's something where you just get real with yourself and put the noise out, put your blinders on and laser focus and figure out what it is you love. What do you want to do? Think of creative ways to set yourself apart from the market. Don't think no market is saturated enough where they could not have a new bright spot in it. Look at how innovative people are with things. Think of where there's a need, something that you love and somehow you can make it different to make yourself stand apart and get that recognition. People think it's all hardcore. It's not black and white entrepreneurship. There's every color of the rainbow.

I think that has been a huge key component for a lot of people that I've talked with. When they can get really still and listen to that still small voice, that's when clarity happens. When you're just trying to run and keep up with the Joneses, things start to fall apart pretty quickly.

That's why self-care and self-love is so important in that, because I was like that. I would book every single waking moment packed with something to where if one thing ran ten minutes late, it threw my entire day off. I realized I can't do that because I was so caught up in what was going on and what I had to do next, that I didn't even allow myself clarity or quiet time to even think. Every single day I don't meditate, but I take 30 minutes every single day with nothing on. I turn my phone on airplane mode and I just think. I have a notepad there to write down any thoughts and just let yourself and your mind wander and allow yourself to have a real quiet time.

That space to really let divine downloads to come.

I love that term.

If you want to up-level your life, if you want to really step into your zone of genius and to become the boss of your own life, this is going to be an amazing tool and resource to help you to do it. Here’s my challenge to you. I want to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Thank you so much.

Important Links:

About Emily Frisella

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Social media:
IG: @emilyfrisella
FB: Fit Home & Health
www.fithomeandhealth.com- discount code "TAKE5" for $5 off their cookbook purchase.

Passions:
I am passionate with creating healthy dishes- I see it not just as cooking & baking but I love that challenge and stragety that it includes to get the composition and texture the same as an unhealthy version but using healthy and wholesome ingredients. I am a total dog lover- self admitted "crazy dog mom". I love entertaining, gardening and working out.

 

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